Personal Day Required
I had a really long talk with Dice about an hour ago, and she pointed out a few things to me that I have been worried about for years. To be honest, having someone else point it out to me really helped.
I guess I really have lost a chunk of myself since I started dating Max. That said, both Dice and I noted that Max is amazing and we both love him a lot, and he is my all time closest friend. However, I do everything with him. I go to the mall with him, I eat most of my meals with him, I talk to him all day, I hang out with my friends with him, etc. This leads to two main problems:
1. I lose interest in things that Max and I do not have in common, like photography and art and writing.
2. I get miserable if Max blows me off at all, whether intentionally or not, because such a huge chunk of my life revolves around him.
For example, today Max ignored all of my texts and phone calls and forgot, again, that we had plans tomorrow. I mean, sure, I saw him yesterday but we made plans for tomorrow, and seeing as I can only hang out with people during the day I’d like to know when I’m doing things. Furthermore, I knew the only reason he wasn’t answering was because he was playing WoW in his parent’s basement where there is no signal, and couldn’t take five minutes to go upstairs and call me. It makes me so angry! I mean, he always does this and he uses the same excuse that his phone was dead or has no signal, but I guess I was hoping that after four years he would get the urge to call me once a day… I got so desperate that I called Kathryn at 11:10pm-ish and asked her to get on WoW and tell him to call me (which was really kind of embarrassing in itself), but he told her he was raiding and he would have to call me later tonight. I waited for a while and then sent him a text saying he had 20 minutes and then I was going to bed and canceling our plans.
I guess my point is that I’m left feeling like shit. I called Dice and we had the fore mentioned conversation with her, all the time ignoring Max’s couple phone calls and two texts that he sent ten to thirty minutes after my twenty minute deadline.
The remedy? Dice ordered me to pretty myself up, bring my mom lunch and use my time in the country to take pictures, just like I’ve always wanted to. I’ll spend my time writing in the morning and afternoon, have fun with my sister and parents, and tomorrow night I’ll call Max and tell him about my day for a few minutes, then go to bed. I just can’t let him think that I am willing to sit back and be treated like this all the time. Plus, I need some me time and I really want to be creative without having him distracting me.
Other than boy problems, today was nice. I took pictures for the first time in a month with Kathryn. She and I ran around Ft. Granger, then went to the mall, drove around town and listened to loud classic rock, and ended up at a new Thai restaurant that took over Chlay’s called “Thai Smile.” It was really good, I got my food as spicy as they would make it and it made my eyes water! Finally, a Thai place that can deliver a punch to my Cajun taste buds. I spent other random parts today writing my never ending fan fiction with my cousin and talking to her off and on, and watching shows with my parents.
Looking forward to tomorrow. :)