Adoption Article Draft for MOMS Club Newsletter
So, I volunteered to write a little bit about adoption for our MOMS Club newsletter. I started out writing a novel. I still think that this is too long, and I can't come up with a conclusion. Because it's just a newsletter, they're not concerned with where my facts come from, but you might want to know that they come from Adoptive Families magazine, the Evan B. Donaldson Innstitute, and the New York Times.
Help cut my verbosity. Please!
Out of the 38 members in the MOMS Club, I believe I am the only one who is a mom through adoption. My husband, Max, and I adopted Jack at birth from Missouri, in a domestic private adoption. Since then, I’ve become even more aware at how much about adoption remains shrouded in myth and legend. The media plays up the most dramatic cases: birthmothers coming back and taking their children, baby trafficking, online scam artists. Many people seem to think that adoption is a complicated, expensive process, in which you have to prove that you will be perfect parents, only to go on a waiting list for years (if you want to adopt in the US) or to wait at the mercy of a foreign court (if you want to adopt internationally). In reality, once you choose a type of adoption, the process is pretty routine. According to one book I read, there are 12 types of adoption. However, the two major categories are international (adopting from another country) and domestic (adopting within the US). Within domestic adoption, the two largest types are private adoption and foster-adoption. In private adoption, an adoptive couple chooses an agency, attorney, or facilitator to help them connect with a birthmother who then places her child for adoption by them. In foster-adoption, a couple becomes licensed foster parents in the hopes of adopting one or more of their foster children.
International adoption costs about $15,000 to $30,000, mostly depending on the country from which you’re adopting, and on the travel requirements. Russia, for example, requires you to travel there twice, staying a total of at least one month. In Ethiopia, on the other hand, escorts are available to bring the children to the US. Domestic private adoption costs about $10,000 to $25,000, mostly depending on agency fees, birthmother expenses, and travel costs. Fortunately, there are agencies that work with families of all incomes, so finding a situation that fits your budget is possible, though it may require more research. Domestic foster adoption is often free, or close to it, costing up to $10,000. There is a federal tax credit of $10,600 that adopters get back the year in which their adoption is finalized. Thus, you can subtract $10,600 from any of the above costs.
Some countries (most notably, China and Russia) do have stringent physical and mental health requirements. However, the US and other countries are generally satisfied with the results of a doctor’s physical, and, in case of any abnormality, a note stating that you are fit to parent. I know families in which the parents are wheelchair-bound, on medication for depression, cancer survivors, or recovering alcoholics. You simply need to prove that you can take care of the child you intend to adopt. All adoptive parents go through a process called a home study. Parents are asked questions about themselves individually and as a couple. We found that the couples’ questions could be discussion points for any family, with ones like “How do you plan to discipline and what is your definition of discipline?”. Foster-adopt parents must go through the education and certification process defined by their state, the cost of which may be refunded once the process is complete. An adoptive couple can be just about any age, although some countries and agencies have their own requirements. In general, adoptive parents range from 25-50.
Max and I signed with our agency in May and Jack was born the following June. That’s 8 months; less time than if we had been pregnant. This is not the exception. In domestic private adoptions, 70% of parents adopt within one year. I have many friends who have received “the call” only days or weeks after their home studies were finished. Yes, most of them were adopting transracially-Caucasian or inter-racial couples adopting African-American or multi-racial infants. Transracial adoptions are on the rise; in 2000, the US census showed 16,000 white households that included adopted black children. Because most international adoptions are transracial, acceptance of blended families is more common. (It is also possible to adopt a Caucasian child in less than two years.)
International adoptions are generally completed on a stable timetable, because the children are already born, and are matched with adoptive families on a first-come, first-serve basis. 66% of international adopters adopt within one year. Setbacks can occur when the country changes its requirements, or if the country temporarily suspends international adoptions, as Russia did in 2005/2006. In those cases, agencies will help the couple decide if they want to wait or pursue another country. Many agencies suggest choosing two countries with similar requirements, just in case.
Interestingly, foster-adopt parents wait the longest to adopt their children. Only 50% adopt within the first year. This is often due to the goal of reunification, but can also be a side-effect of too many foster children, too few social workers, in a bureaucratic environment.
Most domestic adoptions are open-the adoptive parents and birthparents communicate with one another. This can be directly, or through an intermediary, such as an agency. We know Jack’s birthmother and communicate with her directly, sending her pictures and talking on the phone every so often. The number one question that domestic adopters are asked: Can the birthmother take the baby back? The answer: NO! In almost all states, a birthparent (mother or father) cannot claim the baby after the termination of parental rights (TPR) is signed. In most states, the TPR can be signed 48-72 hours after the baby is born. The exception to this is if the birthparent was coerced in some way, generally monetarily (that is, the birthparent was bribed). If that is proven, then the baby may be placed with the birthparent(s).
There are 1.5 million adopted children in the US, which is more than 2% of all US children. Over 60% of us have a connection with adoption, whether a family member or close friend is an adoptee, an adoptive parent, or a birthparent.
CONCLUSION
Help cut my verbosity. Please!
Out of the 38 members in the MOMS Club, I believe I am the only one who is a mom through adoption. My husband, Max, and I adopted Jack at birth from Missouri, in a domestic private adoption. Since then, I’ve become even more aware at how much about adoption remains shrouded in myth and legend. The media plays up the most dramatic cases: birthmothers coming back and taking their children, baby trafficking, online scam artists. Many people seem to think that adoption is a complicated, expensive process, in which you have to prove that you will be perfect parents, only to go on a waiting list for years (if you want to adopt in the US) or to wait at the mercy of a foreign court (if you want to adopt internationally). In reality, once you choose a type of adoption, the process is pretty routine. According to one book I read, there are 12 types of adoption. However, the two major categories are international (adopting from another country) and domestic (adopting within the US). Within domestic adoption, the two largest types are private adoption and foster-adoption. In private adoption, an adoptive couple chooses an agency, attorney, or facilitator to help them connect with a birthmother who then places her child for adoption by them. In foster-adoption, a couple becomes licensed foster parents in the hopes of adopting one or more of their foster children.
International adoption costs about $15,000 to $30,000, mostly depending on the country from which you’re adopting, and on the travel requirements. Russia, for example, requires you to travel there twice, staying a total of at least one month. In Ethiopia, on the other hand, escorts are available to bring the children to the US. Domestic private adoption costs about $10,000 to $25,000, mostly depending on agency fees, birthmother expenses, and travel costs. Fortunately, there are agencies that work with families of all incomes, so finding a situation that fits your budget is possible, though it may require more research. Domestic foster adoption is often free, or close to it, costing up to $10,000. There is a federal tax credit of $10,600 that adopters get back the year in which their adoption is finalized. Thus, you can subtract $10,600 from any of the above costs.
Some countries (most notably, China and Russia) do have stringent physical and mental health requirements. However, the US and other countries are generally satisfied with the results of a doctor’s physical, and, in case of any abnormality, a note stating that you are fit to parent. I know families in which the parents are wheelchair-bound, on medication for depression, cancer survivors, or recovering alcoholics. You simply need to prove that you can take care of the child you intend to adopt. All adoptive parents go through a process called a home study. Parents are asked questions about themselves individually and as a couple. We found that the couples’ questions could be discussion points for any family, with ones like “How do you plan to discipline and what is your definition of discipline?”. Foster-adopt parents must go through the education and certification process defined by their state, the cost of which may be refunded once the process is complete. An adoptive couple can be just about any age, although some countries and agencies have their own requirements. In general, adoptive parents range from 25-50.
Max and I signed with our agency in May and Jack was born the following June. That’s 8 months; less time than if we had been pregnant. This is not the exception. In domestic private adoptions, 70% of parents adopt within one year. I have many friends who have received “the call” only days or weeks after their home studies were finished. Yes, most of them were adopting transracially-Caucasian or inter-racial couples adopting African-American or multi-racial infants. Transracial adoptions are on the rise; in 2000, the US census showed 16,000 white households that included adopted black children. Because most international adoptions are transracial, acceptance of blended families is more common. (It is also possible to adopt a Caucasian child in less than two years.)
International adoptions are generally completed on a stable timetable, because the children are already born, and are matched with adoptive families on a first-come, first-serve basis. 66% of international adopters adopt within one year. Setbacks can occur when the country changes its requirements, or if the country temporarily suspends international adoptions, as Russia did in 2005/2006. In those cases, agencies will help the couple decide if they want to wait or pursue another country. Many agencies suggest choosing two countries with similar requirements, just in case.
Interestingly, foster-adopt parents wait the longest to adopt their children. Only 50% adopt within the first year. This is often due to the goal of reunification, but can also be a side-effect of too many foster children, too few social workers, in a bureaucratic environment.
Most domestic adoptions are open-the adoptive parents and birthparents communicate with one another. This can be directly, or through an intermediary, such as an agency. We know Jack’s birthmother and communicate with her directly, sending her pictures and talking on the phone every so often. The number one question that domestic adopters are asked: Can the birthmother take the baby back? The answer: NO! In almost all states, a birthparent (mother or father) cannot claim the baby after the termination of parental rights (TPR) is signed. In most states, the TPR can be signed 48-72 hours after the baby is born. The exception to this is if the birthparent was coerced in some way, generally monetarily (that is, the birthparent was bribed). If that is proven, then the baby may be placed with the birthparent(s).
There are 1.5 million adopted children in the US, which is more than 2% of all US children. Over 60% of us have a connection with adoption, whether a family member or close friend is an adoptee, an adoptive parent, or a birthparent.
CONCLUSION