Seeing S
Two weeks later, I will now post more about our trips to Missouri and Pittsburgh.
I was worried about seeing S: What would happen? Would she want alone time with Jack? Would she say or do something inappropriate? Would she refer to her boyfriend as Jack's "other Daddy"? What would her mother do? Would this all result in tears and anger?
After court on Friday, we had to stop at Target for bottled water and lipstick. Then, we went to Perkins for breakfast (Max) and pie (me). We went back to the hotel, and we all took a nap. After the nap, we went to see S. S and her son ("Iggy") were looking out the window waiting for us. When she ran out, I was struck by a) how thin she was and b) how much she looked like a high school student. It blew my mind, as she was wearing clothes that I would have worn then, with her hair all primped and pretty. She looked like she should be going to the mall with her friends.
She hugged me, but of course, Jack was the main focus. And that was OK. She asked if we could go see her mom and sister (who live down the hall), and when we came in, her sister - M - was shocked. M's eyes got wider than her face and her jaw dropped until she smiled and came over to Jack - "He's so big!" It was great to see that. I had worried that M would be somehow upset by our presence. Jack was fascinated by M's hair, which was partially orange and very spiky that day. She said to him, "You've never seen hair like that!" By chance, S's brother, whom I'd never met, was visiting, so I got to say hello and shake his hand. He just totally faded back and let the women do their baby thing.
We went back down the hall to where Max was, watching Iggy. Iggy has gotten bigger! Maybe I just hadn't wanted to see it before, but when we saw him and Jack together, it was clear that they are brothers. I think I just want Jack to be the cutest baby in the world. Iggy was the typical 2 year old, testing his mom, wanting to run everywhere. He was also visibly jealous of Jack. At the same time, however, he tried to show Jack some affection. He would try to kiss or hug Jack, then jump up and run and do something he wasn't supposed to do. We tried to engage him, but of course, he wanted Mommy.
The visit went really well. FAR better than I had expected. We were able to talk about her job. All of her family members are currently working, so that's a big plus. S has a new boyfriend, who is apparently no longer allowed on the property of where she lives. One has to wonder... Not my place, I guess. The boyfriend is the part that makes me shake my head. He's older again. She's been seeing him since February - just a month after Jack was born and she swore that she wasn't looking for a man in her life. I truly worry about this situation, especially for Iggy's sake. That's all about that.
S, Iggy, and the 3 of us were able to go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a good meal. We had gone there for our first meal together, and coincidentally, we were seated in the same booth! The situation was a little tight, as TCF is expensive, so S felt like she had to ask us what she could have.
During the meal, her boyfriend called. They talked for a couple of minutes. S asked if we could stop by his sister's house so he could meet Jack. We said sure. I think we did it partially because S wanted it, and partially because we wanted to meet the boyfriend. S told BF that she was going to put Jack on the phone. She leaned over the table and said to Jack, "Talk to your other daddy."
Max and I exchanged a look. I don't know what mine was, but his was incredulity and rage. I told him that if she made any comment like that while we were meeting him, then I would talk to her. Fortunately, that was the last we heard of that talk. We did go meet BF. When I think of what he looks like, I think of CrabMan from My Name Is Earl. I dunno.
We dropped S and Iggy off, then went back to the hotel. Jack fell asleep, I walked to Barnes and Noble, then to ColdStone. (Watermelon sorbet... mmmmmm!) It was pouring when I walked back to the hotel. Overall, I think Jack was surprised by the rain. He's not used to it.
The next day, we realized that going to S's was going to take at least 40 minutes of drive time out of our day. I called and asked if she could come to us, but it's not like she has transportation. When push came to shove, I didn't feel comfortable asking her to ask around too much for a ride. It was the last time we would see her - and that she would see Jack - for who knows how long. So we packed up and checked out of the hotel earlier than planned, and went to see S. Max was able to work from S's table while S, Iggy, Jack, and I played. M was there, getting her hair done. It was just a nice visit.
Iggy had just learned to swim, and I was anxious to get Jack back in the water. We went swimming for about 20 minutes or so. The water was cooler than Jack is used to, but once we got in and swished around for awhile, he had fun. It started to sprinkle, so we had to get out of the pool. On the way back, S saw the custodian, and spoke some basic Spanish to him. (Turns out, she had learned it on the job, working with a woman from Mexico.) She pointed at Jack and said, (I took French, so the spelling is phonetic): "Mi familia." Custodian: "Que?" She couldn't figure out how to say "adopted" in Spanish. Funny.
Before we left, S told us that she was glad we had come back. She said that she could see how happy Jack is and how much we love him. The visit made her feel better about her choice.
And that was what I was hoping the visit would be.
I was worried about seeing S: What would happen? Would she want alone time with Jack? Would she say or do something inappropriate? Would she refer to her boyfriend as Jack's "other Daddy"? What would her mother do? Would this all result in tears and anger?
After court on Friday, we had to stop at Target for bottled water and lipstick. Then, we went to Perkins for breakfast (Max) and pie (me). We went back to the hotel, and we all took a nap. After the nap, we went to see S. S and her son ("Iggy") were looking out the window waiting for us. When she ran out, I was struck by a) how thin she was and b) how much she looked like a high school student. It blew my mind, as she was wearing clothes that I would have worn then, with her hair all primped and pretty. She looked like she should be going to the mall with her friends.
She hugged me, but of course, Jack was the main focus. And that was OK. She asked if we could go see her mom and sister (who live down the hall), and when we came in, her sister - M - was shocked. M's eyes got wider than her face and her jaw dropped until she smiled and came over to Jack - "He's so big!" It was great to see that. I had worried that M would be somehow upset by our presence. Jack was fascinated by M's hair, which was partially orange and very spiky that day. She said to him, "You've never seen hair like that!" By chance, S's brother, whom I'd never met, was visiting, so I got to say hello and shake his hand. He just totally faded back and let the women do their baby thing.
We went back down the hall to where Max was, watching Iggy. Iggy has gotten bigger! Maybe I just hadn't wanted to see it before, but when we saw him and Jack together, it was clear that they are brothers. I think I just want Jack to be the cutest baby in the world. Iggy was the typical 2 year old, testing his mom, wanting to run everywhere. He was also visibly jealous of Jack. At the same time, however, he tried to show Jack some affection. He would try to kiss or hug Jack, then jump up and run and do something he wasn't supposed to do. We tried to engage him, but of course, he wanted Mommy.
The visit went really well. FAR better than I had expected. We were able to talk about her job. All of her family members are currently working, so that's a big plus. S has a new boyfriend, who is apparently no longer allowed on the property of where she lives. One has to wonder... Not my place, I guess. The boyfriend is the part that makes me shake my head. He's older again. She's been seeing him since February - just a month after Jack was born and she swore that she wasn't looking for a man in her life. I truly worry about this situation, especially for Iggy's sake. That's all about that.
S, Iggy, and the 3 of us were able to go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was a good meal. We had gone there for our first meal together, and coincidentally, we were seated in the same booth! The situation was a little tight, as TCF is expensive, so S felt like she had to ask us what she could have.
During the meal, her boyfriend called. They talked for a couple of minutes. S asked if we could stop by his sister's house so he could meet Jack. We said sure. I think we did it partially because S wanted it, and partially because we wanted to meet the boyfriend. S told BF that she was going to put Jack on the phone. She leaned over the table and said to Jack, "Talk to your other daddy."
Max and I exchanged a look. I don't know what mine was, but his was incredulity and rage. I told him that if she made any comment like that while we were meeting him, then I would talk to her. Fortunately, that was the last we heard of that talk. We did go meet BF. When I think of what he looks like, I think of CrabMan from My Name Is Earl. I dunno.
We dropped S and Iggy off, then went back to the hotel. Jack fell asleep, I walked to Barnes and Noble, then to ColdStone. (Watermelon sorbet... mmmmmm!) It was pouring when I walked back to the hotel. Overall, I think Jack was surprised by the rain. He's not used to it.
The next day, we realized that going to S's was going to take at least 40 minutes of drive time out of our day. I called and asked if she could come to us, but it's not like she has transportation. When push came to shove, I didn't feel comfortable asking her to ask around too much for a ride. It was the last time we would see her - and that she would see Jack - for who knows how long. So we packed up and checked out of the hotel earlier than planned, and went to see S. Max was able to work from S's table while S, Iggy, Jack, and I played. M was there, getting her hair done. It was just a nice visit.
Iggy had just learned to swim, and I was anxious to get Jack back in the water. We went swimming for about 20 minutes or so. The water was cooler than Jack is used to, but once we got in and swished around for awhile, he had fun. It started to sprinkle, so we had to get out of the pool. On the way back, S saw the custodian, and spoke some basic Spanish to him. (Turns out, she had learned it on the job, working with a woman from Mexico.) She pointed at Jack and said, (I took French, so the spelling is phonetic): "Mi familia." Custodian: "Que?" She couldn't figure out how to say "adopted" in Spanish. Funny.
Before we left, S told us that she was glad we had come back. She said that she could see how happy Jack is and how much we love him. The visit made her feel better about her choice.
And that was what I was hoping the visit would be.