Epiphany
So some of you might have known that I spent the last week in California, staying with the always fantastic Toob and Jakebe. It was, arguably, the best five days I have experienced in a few years. We drank, we played, we had a great time. I hung out with tons of awesome people, and truly saw what it's like to have a wide circle of friends.
Returning from a vacation is always difficult. There's a hangover, being away seems to highlight all of the things you were getting away from. You want to just stay gone, but know you can't. Just a vacation, after all, time to go back to real life.
For me, this was different.
It wasn't a vacation of tourist attractions and days at the beach, the typical vacation things. This was a vacation that let me at least glimpse life elsewhere, and I want it. Coming back didn't hurt because I have to go back to work and responsibility, it hurt because I have to go back to work and responsibility HERE.
I'm not made for this city. I can't live in these mountains and drive through these ghost areas any more. Feels like a lot of my friends have moved on, but I'm just spinning my wheels. I have a job, but I still sleep in the bed I had when I was sixteen. I lift in the same dirty ymca, shop in the same mall that doesn't even have a book store any more, and basically just sit, hoping that "someday" I'll be in a position to move.
Like if I just wait around long enough, these things will just happen without me needing to do any work. Well fuck that. It's time for me to put some effort in. Can't say I expect it to be easy, but I'm done here. Time to move on.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
Returning from a vacation is always difficult. There's a hangover, being away seems to highlight all of the things you were getting away from. You want to just stay gone, but know you can't. Just a vacation, after all, time to go back to real life.
For me, this was different.
It wasn't a vacation of tourist attractions and days at the beach, the typical vacation things. This was a vacation that let me at least glimpse life elsewhere, and I want it. Coming back didn't hurt because I have to go back to work and responsibility, it hurt because I have to go back to work and responsibility HERE.
I'm not made for this city. I can't live in these mountains and drive through these ghost areas any more. Feels like a lot of my friends have moved on, but I'm just spinning my wheels. I have a job, but I still sleep in the bed I had when I was sixteen. I lift in the same dirty ymca, shop in the same mall that doesn't even have a book store any more, and basically just sit, hoping that "someday" I'll be in a position to move.
Like if I just wait around long enough, these things will just happen without me needing to do any work. Well fuck that. It's time for me to put some effort in. Can't say I expect it to be easy, but I'm done here. Time to move on.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com