(no subject)
Today has been a pretty good day! Classes were normal, boring, but they werent too challenging. I just am getting so sick of classes and being so busy. I cant wait until this week is over and I get to go home for a week. I called Clifford last night about Tuesday. I really dont want to stay at my dad's because of Michele, but I feel sobad because he really wants me to come for the night so I get to spend more time with him. I agreed to it, but I asked Cliff if she is really mean to me if I can crash on his couch. Now I feel kinda guilty though because of Adam. I am not going to do anything with Cliff, but Adam doesnt understand our relationship at all. I really want to go there though because I miss seeing Cliff. It makes me sad that we don't keep in touch when he has always been such a Huge part of my life.
I love winter so much. It is *brisk* outside today and it just feels like winter. Winter is so cozy and Christmas is the best. Having all the family home and seeing all my friends that I havent seen since summer. I love having the whole house decorated and mom always playing her christmas muisic. It's funny how I even have certain music that makes me think of winter because I for some reason always listen to it when it gets cold out. Like matchbox 20 and SR71.
It is so funny how I hate change. I was talking to Mom a little bit ago and she is decorating the house for Christmas and put the tree in the foyer instead of the bay window. I was almost in tears because it has always been in the bay window. I am such an idiot. Lol. But, I'm like that with everything. I get sad about friends I used to be so close with that I dont talk to as much anymore. When really, we all have our own lives now and it is impossible to keep in touch with all of them. I also get sad about old boyfriends. Like Cliff for instance. For a long time I missed him being my boyfriend so much because he was my first and I didnt want a change in relationships. Or Ben Korf. I held on to my crush on him for so long because in my head he was always this guy that was almost a mysterious love. I had these feelings for him and we would at random times mess around, and we were never really together, but in a kindof secret way we were. For a long time I missed that too. I think about last year a lot. I loved living with Stef in my dorm. I loved our friends that were contantly around. Our room was always dim. We liked the lights like that. It is funny how I think of it like that. I miss the craziness of last year. Stef and I went out and just got tanked every night of the weekend starting on Wednesday and I have so many fun memories of all the insane stuff we did. It is funny though how I have just as good of friends, crushes and experiences now, but I still miss all the old stuff. I am just glad though that I have so many great memories to look back on!
Anyways, I have to go to practice and learn a bunch of hot dances for basketball season! Holla!