Preperations...if that is even possible.

[torturedslayer]

It was 24 hours until the finish of the trial and the Jury deciding what happens to me...I wasn't even near ready for this. I mean my life was hanging in the balance and all because I defended myself against a man who was horrible and a murderer...but I am the one about to go to jail for protecting myself. Somehow this just didn't seem fair or

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[lawfulgunn]

I was about to make sure Angelina was okay, then Angel suggested with his eyes that I should go check out the door. Alright. I didn't feel like anything evil was out there, so that was good, right?

I walked over, looking out the door and seeing Julie. Great, was I glad to see her. I needed to talk to her about what Angelina and I talked about earlier. Of course, if she was really going to jail, then that talk would be useless.

"Hey, girl, what you doin' around here? You okay?"

[torturedslayer]

I was just walking away when he came out of the office. I think I jumped about 10 miles when he spoke.

"Uhh...walk..somehow ended up here. Sorry..I will go back to where I belong. Well atleast for now anyway."

I sighed and started to leave. I didn't want to really talk about my problems..I was just wanting to hide in a corner.

[lawfulgunn]

"Hey, wait. Don't go. I didn't mean to scare you off. And you belong here, you're a slayer and this is council housing. Don't know if you remember, but I'm Charles Gunn, everyone calls me Gunn...well except for Fred, she called me Charles..." Now why did I have to go and bring her up?

I shook my head. I had to get past Fred, I really did. "Anyway, I work with Angel in there, and I kind of made a promise to Angelina that I would train you and be your friend."

I didn't know she would react to that, but I hoped it was in a good way.

[torturedslayer]

I looked at him in shock

"What? Does she think I can't get my own friends?"

What was I saying? My one and only friend skipped town and went back to his own time dimension..or however that worked.

"Look I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I am most likely going to jail for protecting myself tomorrow so you don't want to get involved with me."

[lawfulgunn]

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not it all, girl. She loves you, and she thought you could do with a friend that could help you and be your friend. I would have considered it anyway, seeing as I have a lot of coworkers around her but, not a whole lot of friends. I mean we're friends, but we're not exactly social with each other."

I paused, seriously not wanting her to run away from me. I hated that she was going to jail, she so didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry for all you're going through...you don't deserve it. Look, if you need someone to talk to, I'll be there for you. I'll even visit you in jail, if it comes to that."

I didn't want to tell her about Angelina's vision, especially since I wasn't sure if she had heard what Angelina said or not. I was hoping not, this girl had enough stress on her right now.

[torturedslayer]

I look down and calm down.

"You would do that...I mean you don't know me. for all you know I could be a useless whore."

I said this softly

"I don't mind going somewhere to talk...as long as it isn't inside a small room. I will be getting enough of that starting tomorrow."

[lawfulgunn]

I was about to answer when Leo arrived in his usual freaky way, and then Julie was dragging me down the sidewalk.

"Hey, hey, that's just Leo, it's alright, girl. Slow down, this brother is havin' trouble keep up with you!" I said with a smile.

"Why don't we go to my place...and there was no sexual intention behind that, I swear. We can go there and talk, it's quiet and has comfortable furniture you can lounge on. Lots of space too. You okay with that?"

I started to steer her towards my place as I was saying this, and I hoped she believed me that I was only trying to be a friend and nothing more...yet...

"And you are not a worthless whore. I would never call you that. You are someone worth getting to know, Julie. And I'd like the chance to do that."

[torturedslayer]

"I am not scared of Leo..if not for him I would be dead...I just..well I sort of blame him for all of this. He tried to cover it up and forgot the major thing and it just...I know I shouldn't blame him and part of me doesn't, I just...I just do"

I stopped him and looked him in the eyes

"You promise? You swear that you won't try to get me to do something?"

He promised and I nodded

"Then your place it is..."

I let him lead me to his place and oddly felt completely at ease with him.

[lawfulgunn]

I led her to my place, unlocking the door and flipping the light switch on as we walked in.

"It's kind of plain right now. But before long, it's going to be a sweet bachelor pad, Gunn style." I smiled at her again.

"Sit down, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything? I don't have much in the way of food, been eating out mostly, but I do have some cokes and some beer in the fridge if you want some of that. I might have some microwaveable popcorn, or we could order or a pizza or something. On me of course."

[torturedslayer]

I giggle at the offer of beer

"I think being as I am 18 I will pass on the beer...but..if you want we could order a pizza. I kind of walked out on dinner at the manor..."

I said softly kind of nervous that I will mess something up or get too attached the night before I go to jail.

[lawfulgunn]

"Alright. Pizza and Coca Cola it is! What do you like on your pizza? Does Meat Lover's sound okay? X-Large to quell both of our appetites?" I couldn't stop smiling at her.

I hated that she was going to jail tomorrow, but I would at least be able to show her a good time beforehand. I hoped the sisters or Angel Inc. or Willow could come up with something to get her out. She so didn't deserve to go jail. It just wasn't fair.

I grabbed my cordless phone, waiting on her answers to my questions before I dialed the number I knew by heart. They probably knew me by name there by now.

[torturedslayer]

"Sounds good..I am not picky. Just no anchovies ok"

I smiled he laughed. I got up and started to look around his place, they really had it good here. This was top of the line. I noticed a picture of a girl that looked like that weird blue person..Illyria I think is her name. I pick it up and look at it. She doesn't look blue here, I wonder who this is? or how she was, you know..not blue.

[lawfulgunn]

I ordered the pizza, turned to tell her it would be here in 45 minutes and then I saw her looking at my picture of Fred...I felt a little sad...

"That's Fred...if you're wondering...before I allowed the blue wonder to infect her body and kill her..." I had to stop, my emotions building up again. I don't know why I torture myself like this, but I did feel like I deserved it.

"Anyway...I keep that as a memento...of how she could light up a room with that smile."

[torturedslayer]

"So the blue...she isn't..Ok that makes sense now."

I turn to him and could feel his pain..no special powers needed for that. I walked over to him and took his hand in mine

"Gunn, she would most likely have forgiven you by now, why can't you forgive yourself?"

I didn't know the whole story, but from the picture she didn't look to be a vengful woman.

[lawfulgunn]

I sighed. I did like the feeling of her hands on mine, though.

"It's a long story...but the short of it is, I loved her...and because I wanted to stay a lawyer, she became the sacrifice...I never intended that, would never ever hurt her, but it happened..."

I stopped a moment, swallowing. "The things I've seen, the things I've battled and killed...they were evil, they needed to die. Fred...she was my light, my hope that I could have some sort of future. This from someone who once sold his soul to the devil for a truck."

I laughed a little, but it was more a bitter laugh. "She was the love of my life...I don't know if I can ever forgive myself..."

[torturedslayer]

"Did you do it on purpose? Did you know for a fact that she was going to be the one?"

He shook his head

"Then, you have to stop blaming yourself. You made a mistake, you did something bad, but you didn't do it with the intention of hurting her. It is just like I have to stop blaming Leo when for something he din't do. He did what he had to do to save me...yes it didn't work out that way, but in the long run maybe this is the path I need to follow."

I said this in hopes that I would actually believe it.