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[torturedslayer]

I was talking to mom...well Piper mom and then the baliff called us all to attention as the judge walked in the courtroom. I was not ready for this. I had days..even months to prepare for this and I still wasn't ready. My lawyer made it so I didn't habe to be here for the jury selection, but I had to be here today. I was to be called first to

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[torturedmom]

I could barely watch that horrible, horrible prosecutor tearing apart my baby on the stand. Oh if he ONLY knew...I wanted to go up there right now and testify to the disgusting, vile character of my dead ex.

I tried to make eye contact, but she was getting so upset...I felt tears fall, and Craig held my hand, tried to reassure me. I was so glad he was here...I couldn't sit here alone and be a witness to this insane spectacle of my daughter defending herself in front of a prosecutor who saw her as nothing more than the spoiled whore of a girl who killed her father because she didn't want to live at home anymore, or something equally stupid like that.

I wanted to reach out to her, I almost did, but Craig pulled me back down. I so hated this, and it was all my fault. All my fault for leaving her with him, I should have fought harder, I should have killed him myself years ago and taken her not turned coward and taken the route of the law, the same law now bearing down on my poor child like a ton of bricks...

I wept, resting my head on Craig's shoulder, wishing this would be just a bad nightmare, and I would wake up and none of this would have happened at all...

[torturedslayer]

The prosecutor continued drilling me and I was slowly losing it.

"So you decided you would take the law into your own hands..is that correct? Why didn't you call the police..or ask the people you knew here for help?"

Are they not getting that no matter who I told it didn't matter he still kept coming back for me?

"I had no choice...he was coming at me...I just did what I had to, to make it out of that motel room alive and be safe from him..."

Oh god how that came out wrong...

[torturedmom]

So you could be safe and get out of that hotel room alive. Why not just shoot him in the arm or the leg, incapacitate him so you could run out of there to safety, let the law deal with him?

I could not believe this man. He obviously never met or had any dealings with my ex. If he did, he would have wanted to make sure he was dead before leaving the hotel room too.

[torturedslayer]

I flipped that was it! That was all I could take of this man doubting me.

"You want to see what happened each time I let the Law deal with him? You want to see what happened each time I went to someone else for help? Ok then let me show you what the hell happened when I did what you have suggested."

I stood up and without a thought pulled my jacket off. Scars up and down my arms and across my chest area. I had a cami like blouse on beneath the jacket. The blous was revealing enough to see the old scars that had healed over.

You could just about tell what he had used. There were marks from the cane he loved to use, lash marks from his whips and odd looking marks from his special whip. He had not let any inch of my body go without scares and marks on it.

"If he didn't kill the person who tried to help he just took it out on me. He had the police in his back pocket. Hell half of them got the chance to screw me so they would keep their mouths shut. Did I get a choice in this no. He started this when I was 6 yrs old. I didn't know any other life other than the beatings and the constant fucking from men who paid him!"

[tempting_faith_]

I just sat there, and everyone was looking anxious. The prosecutor was defiantly out of line here.

I wanted to stand up, tell him what’s what but I couldn't not here. Maybe I could meet him out back; have him drop a few charges.

I looked over at B and her little sis, the water works were coming. There was no way I could help, not now. Not this time.

She looks so scared sitting up there, the charmed ones, couldn’t they just work some mojo and make them forget? Or Willow, she’s strong. Why don’t they just do something about this?

She stood up and removed her jacket showing the scars that bastard had left on her, all up and down her arms, Turing around to show the ones on her back, then talking about his whips and canes, "I would have killed the bastard to, given the chance."

I can't believe I had just said that, I thought I was just thinking it, then there eyes all turned to me, looking at me. I had to get out of there.

[yammerer_willow]

I stopped Faith from leaving

"No..don't run out. They will just make it worse for both of you. It is ok..."

I tried then the judge started banging his gavle

"Silence...You miss will sit down and remain silent"

my eyes went wide

[torturedmom]

I felt a dagger of pain strike me in the heart...I felt faint, like I couldn't get enough air...the judge was banging his gavel admit gasps of disbelief from those who hadn't seen these scars...I thought I heard someone say something, I wasn't sure, then there was another voice, I think it was the judge...I wondered if anyone besides me had seen them before now...

I held onto Craig, tears falling, trying not to black out, wishing Julie would just put her jacket back on...oh God baby put it back on, please...

[torturedslayer]

I sat back down my jacket still off I noticed Mom freaking out. I caught her eyes and gave her the I am ok now please don't freak out any more look. I really was ok. I knew that he couldn't come back and do anything else to me. I just wanted this to be over.

"So do you have any more questions?"

[torturedmom]

Just one more question. Should you get backed into a corner by someone else who threatens your life, should we expect you'd shoot and kill them too? Are any of us safe from you since you don't have any faith in the law?

I got the look from Julie that said I should calm down, so I tried, wiping my face, sitting up a little more. Damn that prosecutor, he was so ruthless, trying to paint my child as a wild woman that would kill anyone who threatened her life. I started to angry again, but waited for Julie's response to that horrid question.

[torturedslayer]

"Do you not grasp the concept that I trust the law about as far as I can throw them? I had cops fucking me so daddy dearest could get whatever he wanted, and get away with whatever he wanted. Can you explain why I should trust something that failed me for 12 years?...Possibly more."

"I don't go around killing people for blood sport, I did what I had to, to keep him from killing me. I did what I had to, to make sure he didn't make me fuck him again. I did what I had to, to make sure that I didn't get anymore scars on my body. I wanted to live, and I will be damned if I will let a man like him kill me. I deserve a damn life where I know what the hell it is like to eat a happy meal at mcdonalds, where I know what it is like to swing on a swing, or swim in the ocean, or in a pool. I deserve a life where I got to play with toys, but instead I got a life where my father fucked me on a nightly basis, and pimped me out to men when he needed something or money. Where everyday when I came home from school I had to immediatly shower and then return to my room where he chained me to the bed and made me lay there while whoever wanted to either beat the hell out of me or fucked the hell out of me. So explain to me how I had a damn choice?"

When I was finished with my angry outburst I looked to mom who was sobbing and mouthed sorry. I was also crying. I just wanted to go home.

"What I want more than anything is to go home to a family that for once loves me. Two families that are allowing me make up for lost time, for something that I never thought I would have and now I do...I hope"

[torturedmom]

I do grasp that concept, Miss St. James. I am sorry for what you went through. But I'm not sure I feel comfortable with the thought of running into you on the street and getting killed should you deem me a threat to your life.

The defense attorney objected, the prosecutor struck the last comment from the record and said that he was done with her. The judge then dismissed Julie. I don't think anyone in that courtroom was a fan of the prosecutor right now, but I was to see get off that stand right then...

[torturedslayer]

I nodded when I was allowed to leave the stand and made my way back to my seat. Then the judge said he was recessing till the following morning and I nodded thankfully.

I wanted to go home, sleep, curl up and die..anything to get out of there...

"Thank the gods"

If I thought I could get away with blowing this scumbag up...

[witchpiper]

If I thought I could just vanquish this laywer like any other deamon I owuld...I was already strting to believe was just another souless demon...but I had no proof, so I watched as he mercilessly attacked Julie, and make Julie seem less credible, and I was powerless, without a doubt weak in this scenario. I couldn't breathe fromt ime to time as he made her recount all of the awful things that monster did to her...These are the times I question the judgement of beings like the elders...how could they let this go on? Why didn't someone do something earlier...Tears rolled silently down my cheeks, but I knew if Julie was going to regain compsure, I would have to as well. So i wiped away my tears and waited for her to come back to her seat next to her lawyer, allthe time hinking it's not her fault or this will be over soon, ithas to be...Occasionally I would take my gaze of the stand and watch as our group collectively surpress their anger, horror, shock and genral anguish as we watched one of our one get ripped to shreds.

When Julie finally did come to sit down I leaned foward and whispered in her ear
"You did fine honey...we're going to beat this...all of us are here together and we are going to get you out of this."

And I meant every word of it...we were going to fix this...were we going to make this nightmare go away.