To: Seamus "Caution: Hotter When Naked" Finnigan [Address Concealed] From: Neville "Hotty McSexy" Longbottom [Address Concealed] Subject: Re: Final Proposal
Shay,
I love how you can start an email so professionally and then dissolve into petty flirtations. I will not be bought with sexual favors, Finnigan. I will not. Except when I am.
In any case, I'm all in favor of Fine Arses R Us, but I think it portrays a rather inaccurate message as to what our partnership is about. People might get to thinking we're running some sort of place of ill repute. You know. Some seedy prostitute stand. Fun as that might be, Daphne wouldn't approve of me falling in with a bad crowd (re: you).
You're more than welcome to crash at my flat on the condition that I get to pinch whatever I want. We'll brainstorm when you get here. In between all the hot shags.
To: Neville Longbottom [Address Concealed] From: Seamus Finnigan [Address Concealed] Subject: Fine Arses it is
Nev,
Petty? Petty? I'm injured to the core. My flirtations are large and important.
I'm not a bad crowd, Greengrass loves me, she just shows it by disapproving of me. Or something.
Brilliant, I'll be in town sometime next week, then? You can pinch anywhere but certain spots and you know what ones I'm talking about. Hot shags? Greengrass finally get over her "ew sex" attitude?
To: Seamus "Caution: Hotter When Naked" Finnigan [Address Concealed] From: Neville "Hotty McSexy" Longbottom [Address Concealed] Subject: Ah, But Whose Is Finer?
Shay,
Yes, petty. It is just your sorry attempt to get into my trousers and I'll not stand for it when we're talking business. Business before pleasure, Finnigan, unless we're shagging in my office. I like a subtle blend every now and then.
Oh, well, in that case she must love me a lot. That's a scary thought.
My door and fireplace is always open for you, mate. And I meant hot shags with you, but Daphne will come around eventually. Maybe once I stop hitting on you.
So you don't want me to whisper figures in your ear while we're fucking? Not on, mate, I was even practising my voice and how to say a million quid just right to get you to come.
That is a scary thought and I'm not sure that I'm appreciating it.
More the door. I'll book a flight tonight and be at your place sometime next week, depending on the airline.
To: Seamus "Caution: Hotter When Naked" Finnigan [Address Concealed] From: Neville "Hotty McSexy" Longbottom [Address Concealed] Subject: Only because you're the only one with photographic evidence
Shay,
You are not supposed to know about my secret number fetish. Defeats the purpose of the word secret. I had to take a cold shower after your email since I didn't have you to take care of the problem it left me with. I hope you're proud of yourself, prat.
From: Neville "Hotty McSexy" Longbottom [Address Concealed]
Subject: Re: Final Proposal
Shay,
I love how you can start an email so professionally and then dissolve into petty flirtations. I will not be bought with sexual favors, Finnigan. I will not. Except when I am.
In any case, I'm all in favor of Fine Arses R Us, but I think it portrays a rather inaccurate message as to what our partnership is about. People might get to thinking we're running some sort of place of ill repute. You know. Some seedy prostitute stand. Fun as that might be, Daphne wouldn't approve of me falling in with a bad crowd (re: you).
You're more than welcome to crash at my flat on the condition that I get to pinch whatever I want. We'll brainstorm when you get here. In between all the hot shags.
-Nev
Reply
From: Seamus Finnigan [Address Concealed]
Subject: Fine Arses it is
Nev,
Petty? Petty? I'm injured to the core. My flirtations are large and important.
I'm not a bad crowd, Greengrass loves me, she just shows it by disapproving of me. Or something.
Brilliant, I'll be in town sometime next week, then? You can pinch anywhere but certain spots and you know what ones I'm talking about. Hot shags? Greengrass finally get over her "ew sex" attitude?
S.
Reply
From: Neville "Hotty McSexy" Longbottom [Address Concealed]
Subject: Ah, But Whose Is Finer?
Shay,
Yes, petty. It is just your sorry attempt to get into my trousers and I'll not stand for it when we're talking business. Business before pleasure, Finnigan, unless we're shagging in my office. I like a subtle blend every now and then.
Oh, well, in that case she must love me a lot. That's a scary thought.
My door and fireplace is always open for you, mate. And I meant hot shags with you, but Daphne will come around eventually. Maybe once I stop hitting on you.
-Nev
Reply
From: Seamus Finnigan [Address Concealed]
Subject: Obviously, it's mine
Nev,
So you don't want me to whisper figures in your ear while we're fucking? Not on, mate, I was even practising my voice and how to say a million quid just right to get you to come.
That is a scary thought and I'm not sure that I'm appreciating it.
More the door. I'll book a flight tonight and be at your place sometime next week, depending on the airline.
S.
Reply
From: Neville "Hotty McSexy" Longbottom [Address Concealed]
Subject: Only because you're the only one with photographic evidence
Shay,
You are not supposed to know about my secret number fetish. Defeats the purpose of the word secret. I had to take a cold shower after your email since I didn't have you to take care of the problem it left me with. I hope you're proud of yourself, prat.
Now I'm all excited. And not that way.
This time.
-Nev
Reply
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