Chores - tag augustanderson

[howtheydied]

Finally, a real day off. I was supposed to have one last week, but I ended up getting called in to help with a particularly odd case. It seems I'm already the go-to guy when things are difficult. Lucky me

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[augustanderson]

My apartment was supposed to have a washer and dryer. Supposed to, but it didn't. They gave me some song and dance about my cover, and how this place was close enough to Phoenix for me to get to work. It was a bunch of blah, blah, blah, Auggie. If you don't think you can cut it, we can have someone else take your place...

Needless to say I was in a foul mood by the time I dragged my bag of laundry down to the laundry room. It wasn't hard to find. I could smell the bleach and soap in the air, and the girl from across the hall. At least she sounded like a girl, and her fingers weren't wrinkled, had helped me find it. She was on her way to work. She did the nightshift at some bookstore, so she left me to my own devices.

Cane in one hand, laundry over my other shoulder, I tapped my way around the big sorting table, and to the bank of washing machines. I ran my hands over the lids to see if any of them were running or warm, and popped open one that seemed safe. There was a hint of mildew in the air that went with bad plumbing too.

"Fucking fabulous. Just fucking fabulous." I was about to keep bitching as I started shoving my clothes into the machine when I realized I wasn't alone. Sloppy, Auggie. That was sloppy. "Um hello."

[howtheydied]

I looked over as I heard tapping- apparently someone was finding his way around the laundry room. But he certainly didn't seem to need any help, so I didn't offer any.

...and considering his grumbling, he was likely just as impressed with the facilities as me. I smile a bit. "Hello. And if you're referring to the 'laundry room', I've got to agree with you. If I'd known this place didn't have individual units, I would've looked elsewhere." Not that I had many options here in the area.

"My name's Ted, by the way. I'm new to the building." That might be obvious, but we'll see.

[augustanderson]

The first thing they try to train you with at the Farm is to be suspicious. Spies are everywhere. D'uh, I'm one, or I was one. That's kind of up in the air right now. His voice sounds friendly enough, and unlike my Farm hatched brothers I don't do paranoid well. I find it's a hell of a lot better to be friendly. If you don't act like a paranoid nutcase, people will relax and be human around you.

"Hey, yeah," I let out a heavy sigh as I finished forcing the last of my laundry into the machine. "They told me I'd have a washer and dryer in my apartment when I signed the lease. Apparently on the same floor was as good as it gets."

I reached into my pockets for the ziplock bags that I'd filled with detergent in my place and carefully poured it over the clothes before shutting the lid. "I'm new too, obviously. My name's Auggie. I'm in 8B."

[howtheydied]

"12A is mine, so we're not terribly far apart." Makes me wonder just how many open spaces they have here. "It's good to meet you, Auggie." And it is- this breaks up the monotony.

I start up my machine and lean back against it. "Looks like we're stuck here for awhile. I probably should've brought a book, but it's been so long since I've done this." College seems like eons ago. "So I guess we'll just have to commiserate about our lying leases- if you don't mind, of course. My broker got an earful from me, that's for sure." It's possible he'd rather not talk, but he seems friendly enough.

[augustanderson]

"Just down the hall," I said, remembering the order of the apartments from my walks to and from the elevator and the stairwell. I knew every way in and out of my building. I could do it blindfolded. Drum roll....I'll be playing here all week.

"I have my trusty iPod, but that's about it. At least if we're both here, we can take turns watching for laundry thieves." I hated that kind of crap when I was in the dorms in college. Then I give him a huge smile. "One of us can watch the clothes while the other gets some cold beers out of his fridge, and then you can get something for us to eat from your place. Sound fair?"

He seems like a nice guy, and if he's not, it's not as if couldn't break a few bones in his body if I had to. "Oh and yeah, I'm usually this friendly."

[howtheydied]

I was just about to note that he seems very friendly when he mentions it himself. This more makes me think that Auggie is probably very observant, and very good at dealing with people. I imagine that's a good way to keep a connection to the world, if one didn't have all their senses.

The suggestion is still making me smile, though. "Good to know. And that sounds just about perfect, actually. I've got some chips and dip we can burn through. Shall I go first?" I pull myself off the washer and grin.

[augustanderson]

"That sounds great." I hear his feet hit the floor, and turn to hop up onto the folding table. My cane's quickly folded up and tucked against my leg. "And I promise not to look at your underwear while you're gone."

I pop one bud of my iPod into my ear and turn on some music to listen to while I wait for Ted to come back. He seems like a nice guy, and it's been awhile since I had someone to talk to who wasn't a spook or someone I was lying to. Not that I can tell him I'm with the CIA or anything. But I'm not spying on him, so this can be casual. God knows how long this job is going to last.

[howtheydied]

His parting words make me snicker. "That certainly makes me feel safer, thanks," I reply, still chuckling. "Be right back."

And it doesn't take me long to get to my apartment, or to grab the Doritos and the dip. I'm glad he agreed to this, because I have almost no other food in the apartment. There's a few beers, yeah, but that's already covered.

This isn't quite the conversation I had with Peter the other day, but it'll pass the time. Being neighborly never hurt anything, and this guy is pleasant to be around. My first impression says he's like Ben, but sharper. I wouldn't be surprised.

I return within five minutes, snacks in hand. "I'm back, but I'm sure the chips announced my return all the way down the hall. No laundry thieves yet?"

[augustanderson]

Nice to know Ted can laugh at my blind guy jokes. I know some people get uncomfortable when I do it, but it's part of my coping mechanism at least that's what the shrinks say. A few of them advised me to stop being so flippant about it because they thought it meant I wasn't dealing with the reality of my situation since I seemed to enjoy turning it into a joke. Obviously they never saw MASH. If mocking authority and the shit that life can serve you worked for Hawkeye, it'd work for me.

I could hear Ted a bit before he came through the door. The crinkle of the chip bag was a dead give away.

"A few ninjas dropped from the ceiling, but I managed to drive them away with my trusty cane of doom." I dropped off the table, landing squarely on my feet and steady as ever. I made my way around Ted and headed for the door. "Be right back. If you punch them in the nose, they back off fast kinda like sharks."

[howtheydied]

I chuckle when he tells me about fighting ninjas. And before I even have a chance to complain about my lack of having a cane, he tells me how to fight our imaginary foe. "You seem to know a lot about these ninjas," I reply, amused. "But a punch in the nose- I think I can handle that."

I've seen someone with their septum pressed all the way into their brain before- that wasn't a hard case, as the culprit claimed he'd done it with his bare hands. We figured out fairly quickly that he had brass knuckles, but the police never found them. If I remember correctly, the murderer got off on a technicality.

I muse over the details of that case while I wait for Auggie to return. I don't have an iPod, myself, but this will pass the time.

[augustanderson]

Using the insulated lunch bag that someone gave me to take lunch to work in and don't, I manage to bring four cold bottles of beer back to the laundry room. The going's much easier this time too since I don't have my laundry weighing me down.

"How did it go?" I ask him after handing him the sack and hopping back up on the table. "I probably should have checked my machine before I hopped up here. Is it still going?" It probably is. But until I run a couple of loads, I won't know how long the washers here take.

"So, you're new too, but not new to New York, right?" His voice has more of the east coast feel to it. "Sorry if I'm nosy. It's a bad habit. I'm from California."

[howtheydied]

His return pulls me from my contemplation, and I'm rather grateful for it. I've had too much time for that lately. "You were right about the punch thing," I reply, rather smugly. "I don't think those ninjas will be bothering us again anytime soon."

The beers are cold, as I imagined they would be. I open the bag of chips. "Yeah, your machine's still running. And I'm putting the jar for the dip directly to your right, let me know if you want me to move it." It does click on the tabletop when I put it down- I hadn't been sure it would. The chips are set right next to it.

I knew we'd eventually get to the 'who are you and what do you do?' questions, but I'm glad he started it. He guesses entirely right. "It's fine- I am from around here. I was busy with college and residency for awhile. Still doing the residency, actually. Where in California are you from?"

[augustanderson]

"Thanks." It's nice that he warned me where the dip was before I put my hand in it. "That was one of the things I had to get used to, being able to touch my food in public and have it be acceptable. My mother had a bitch of a time getting over it when I went home for Thanksgiving, but it was OK if I had a tiny little bit of bread in my hand."

"I'm pretty good with accents. It was kind of a game we had in the army. Figure out who was from where. I'm from Fresno. Not exactly an exciting part of the world." Nice move how he turned my curiosity about him right back at me, but that's OK. I'd probably do the same thing in his shoes. "Or of California for that matter. I got a nice job offer, so I packed up and thought I'd give New York a try."

"What kind of doctor are you?" He did say residency. That means doctor.

[howtheydied]

He says he's pretty good with accents, and I don't doubt that. And he's been in the army. This guy is very observant, and interesting- not quite like Peter was, but that's probably a good thing. He's certainly holding my interest.

He mentions he's from Fresno, a city I've never visited but have heard generally pleasant things about. Sounds like he got bored with it. "Well, I hope the City's been treating you well enough, laundry rooms aside."

His question makes me smile. Even with how delicate a subject it can be, I like talking about my job. "I'm a forensic pathologist, actually," I reply. "I get a close look at murder and accident victims in order to find out what killed them and how. Morbid, but an important part of an investigation." We'll see what he thinks of all of that. He might be acquainted with the term already, but I have no idea what he does for a living.

[augustanderson]

"Really?" I pop a few chips in my mouth with just a little bit of dip. "That's pretty cool." I know he can see me smiling ear to ear. I can't help it. The memory of Annie and me breaking into the morgue and getting caught makes my shoulders shake with laughter. "I spent some time in the morgue once."

"There was this girl. She had a morbid curiosity." Don't want him to think I'm laughing about his job, and I can imagine the look on his face. So I turn the story around a little bit. "She was beautiful... I think. Anyway she had this thing, and we kind of broke into a morgue. She had me on a gurney."

Damn I wish I could see his face right now. "I'd love to say that was a long time ago, and that I've matured since. But I'd be lying."

[howtheydied]

Laughter is not the usual reaction to the description of my career- now I'm really curious as to where that comes from. Luckily, he indulges my curiosity fairly quickly, describing a girlfriend who sounded like she appreciated the macabre a little too much.

It reminds me of Juliette, and how she'd jump me as soon as I gave her even the hint that I had a new plan. We spent more time on that table in the dungeon than I'd like to admit (like I want to admit any of it), and once it wasn't even unoccupied. I should be ashamed of myself, but honestly- I remember it almost fondly. It's probably good he can't see my face right now.

But I do have to give a response of some sort, so I chuckle and reply, "We really hate when people do that, by the way. We have enough messes to clean up already. I assume you didn't get caught? And perhaps more importantly- was she worth it?" A little friendly curiosity doesn't hurt.