(no subject)
Dang, I was rife with ideas of what I wanted to write yesterday but too tired to log on and put them down.
Ofcourse now they are gone gone gone. The night before last night I had a long weird/disturbing dream that involved trying to escape and having to do all this unpleasant stuff. Somehow it veered off into freakland after
a nice dream about Big.
Last night I dreamt of crazy cousin 2 having a baby and having to take care of it, breastfeeding and all that. I was bummed because I had wanted to save the colustrum for Lydia. Back at high school on the last day, telling crazy cousin 2 that Mike Meyers graduated from my school. Didn't realize he hadn't a while after. Wearing huge shoes that almost put me up with the trees. Jeff's mother performing some kind of native american ritual so she could get her voice back. Trying to talk to B. on the phone at Moms, him getting laid off and me crying in the bathroom. Also dreamt of Mom being mean to me when I was young.
Dear sub conscious, I want to be through all the noise and having future dreams. So much of my sleep life is taken up with the past.
Woke up with a muscle spasm on the side of my back. Diaphragm? Miles and I started reading 'Journey to the center of the earth' last night. Long winded and not incredibly interesting thus far. We read 10,000 leagues under the sea and it was much cooler, though abridged. Tried to get M. to sleep in his bed last night, it worked for almost 15 minutes (I think) then he came in saying something scared him. A night light and a flashlight might work. I think 8 is a good age for sleeping in ones own bed. It's not like we're far away from him. Right across the hall.
Had fear thoughts last night after a pee trip, posterior, the horriblness of back labor, going to the hospital and being a number. Anxiety over whether hypnobirthing will work. It's at her house and will there be children running in and out? We paid alot of money for this class, I hope it works.
Feeling like I need to drink lots of fluids and take vitamin c today. Got that beginning of a UTI feeling. Need to
call capital one and get rid of card, make list of q's for midwife appointment tomorrow (bright and freaking early!!), need to start on my cardboard with helpful labor sayings, need 7th generation clothes washing detergent to start washing the baby clothes.
J. is getting married on the 20th, if it's Art Fair I don't think we'll be here for it, we want to go camping before it's too late. My belly is getting big. The baby moved in such a way yesterday that I could feel a part! I think it was her lower leg/foot. Getting used to she being called a she, thought she was a he.
I'm craving bbq chicken, mmmMMMMmmm.
It's raining! Not loudly but it is raining and that is always a joyous thing. Our polar pansies have died, they were flourishing all through winter too!
Ofcourse now they are gone gone gone. The night before last night I had a long weird/disturbing dream that involved trying to escape and having to do all this unpleasant stuff. Somehow it veered off into freakland after
a nice dream about Big.
Last night I dreamt of crazy cousin 2 having a baby and having to take care of it, breastfeeding and all that. I was bummed because I had wanted to save the colustrum for Lydia. Back at high school on the last day, telling crazy cousin 2 that Mike Meyers graduated from my school. Didn't realize he hadn't a while after. Wearing huge shoes that almost put me up with the trees. Jeff's mother performing some kind of native american ritual so she could get her voice back. Trying to talk to B. on the phone at Moms, him getting laid off and me crying in the bathroom. Also dreamt of Mom being mean to me when I was young.
Dear sub conscious, I want to be through all the noise and having future dreams. So much of my sleep life is taken up with the past.
Woke up with a muscle spasm on the side of my back. Diaphragm? Miles and I started reading 'Journey to the center of the earth' last night. Long winded and not incredibly interesting thus far. We read 10,000 leagues under the sea and it was much cooler, though abridged. Tried to get M. to sleep in his bed last night, it worked for almost 15 minutes (I think) then he came in saying something scared him. A night light and a flashlight might work. I think 8 is a good age for sleeping in ones own bed. It's not like we're far away from him. Right across the hall.
Had fear thoughts last night after a pee trip, posterior, the horriblness of back labor, going to the hospital and being a number. Anxiety over whether hypnobirthing will work. It's at her house and will there be children running in and out? We paid alot of money for this class, I hope it works.
Feeling like I need to drink lots of fluids and take vitamin c today. Got that beginning of a UTI feeling. Need to
call capital one and get rid of card, make list of q's for midwife appointment tomorrow (bright and freaking early!!), need to start on my cardboard with helpful labor sayings, need 7th generation clothes washing detergent to start washing the baby clothes.
J. is getting married on the 20th, if it's Art Fair I don't think we'll be here for it, we want to go camping before it's too late. My belly is getting big. The baby moved in such a way yesterday that I could feel a part! I think it was her lower leg/foot. Getting used to she being called a she, thought she was a he.
I'm craving bbq chicken, mmmMMMMmmm.
It's raining! Not loudly but it is raining and that is always a joyous thing. Our polar pansies have died, they were flourishing all through winter too!