(no subject)
Miles loves the water. Long baths, mud bogs, mud puddles, long showers. He has
blue hair now that is fading quickly to the bleached blonde. I haven't written in a while
Things have been really good with Brian. Now we are divorcing. Hee. We are also planning a trip to the Keys in Jan and a trip to Europe, London and Paris end of March, when I will be 30. Time is weird, I can't think of myself as 30, I think of myself as a generic adult, ageless. I have been getting chin zits for months now, a delayed adolesence?
I got financial aid, 3750.00!! Hooray. Ok not financial aid, a loan. Ah well, I'll just keep going to school for the rest of my life.
Disturbing dreams, last night Miles and I under electrical wires. Him going to the hospital, Deb leaving me behind, trying to find a ride. Getting different rides. People cheering me up. A big guy playing me the new Tori album, being inspired but her lovely songs.
I have begun to appreciate quality more in clothes and makeup. I have a coach purse on layaway, it'll last me alot longer then the cheapos I buy. Going shopping whilst in Toronto for Fall clothes, need some good black leather cool ass boots that are comfortable.
The lawn is a long long way from where I want to be with it. Scorched earth still reigning, though the front is looking better, strawberry patch, a rock with our names on it, red mulch, big and little rocks lining. Flowers dry as heck. MUST WATER THEM DAILY. Ofcourse I forgot today. Geeze. Need to lose some weight, feeling big.
Should never weigh myself right around period. Ouch!
Have huge zit bubbling up underneath the skin. Quite unpleasant. Let the shower pound it tonight. Zapped it with clean and clear. Cleaned the diningroom and office today, picked up livingroom. Tomorrow office and bathroom. Brian can do the kitchen.
We have been poor but eating better then when we go out. Funny that. No money for fun stuff though, we went to the library and got "Creature from the Black Lagoon" Miles got an insect show.
A boy got his arm torn off (reattached) in knee deep water off Floridas coast. His uncle wrestled the shark to the shore and a lifeguard shot it and they got the arm. A boy Miles age. Maybe why I dreamt about Miles in danger...
Need to get organized should be my constant mantra. Projects I'd like to do, like getting a piece of plywood and shaping it into a headboard and stapling beautiful cloth to it. Painting the livingroom, my bedroom, my bathroom, office. Wood floors! Maybe carpet for me?
Sam and Jennie broke up, good for Sam, though I feel bad for him. She is sick, not a bad person but someone who needs help. I couldn't live with the lies.
More distance from Joanne, finally coming to terms with choosing friends who give and take, not take and take. So important.
Read "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott. Learned that John the neighbor has bad cancer, I prayed for him. Faith has become a bigger cloud in my life. Looked at the Universalist Unitarian church, if I can gather courage I'll go. Give Miles a community who care about him. Help and to give help. My issue is not so much with God but with christians who are cruel and stupid. Well I wonder how God loving us and not helping with all the starving people and children with AIDS works. I believe in reincarnation, and a big energy source, its easier to put a face on God instead of pulsating light. Things are happening inwardly. Wish I could find some good books on faith.
Every book we read becomes part of us. Read something along those lines today. Wow and how true.
I need my memory and I hope it isn't broken. Like there is some key that I dont know how to access to recall things like Miles being born and the best sunset of my life and so forth.