Cryptic entry of DOOM!
So work is going well. There are moments when I'm really glad I'm there and I feel totally accomplished. Last night was one of those times.
I have a yen for a sandwich.
I miss New Orleans. Between pining for that and things I can never have it's been a hard few days. I don't quite know what to do with myself. I don't know. I'm sure it's not healthy to obsess over things so much. But when my mind has time to think it wanders and gets itself into trouble. I hate it but it's true. I just wish that something would happen. I've said it before and I'll say it again, something has to give. I don't know what it will be but it needs to happen soon. The job helps. It does. But it's not enough when he work day is done and the first thing I think about is something I shouldn't. Jesus, I don't even know why I'm being so damn cryptic. It's not like anyone is going to read this and those that do know what I'm talking about anyway.
It's not nearly as bad as it was with Natalie. There hasn't been any tears shed nor any madness. But there is that insatiable self- loathing masochism that consumes my every waking hour and sometimes sleeping as well. I am sure it stems from something deeper that I don't want to think on. But it still sucks. I need to get away I think. But will that help? I need to find someone who will obsess oer me for a change...and preferably one who I can infatuate myself with as well.
Is it ever to be?
I have a yen for a sandwich.
I miss New Orleans. Between pining for that and things I can never have it's been a hard few days. I don't quite know what to do with myself. I don't know. I'm sure it's not healthy to obsess over things so much. But when my mind has time to think it wanders and gets itself into trouble. I hate it but it's true. I just wish that something would happen. I've said it before and I'll say it again, something has to give. I don't know what it will be but it needs to happen soon. The job helps. It does. But it's not enough when he work day is done and the first thing I think about is something I shouldn't. Jesus, I don't even know why I'm being so damn cryptic. It's not like anyone is going to read this and those that do know what I'm talking about anyway.
It's not nearly as bad as it was with Natalie. There hasn't been any tears shed nor any madness. But there is that insatiable self- loathing masochism that consumes my every waking hour and sometimes sleeping as well. I am sure it stems from something deeper that I don't want to think on. But it still sucks. I need to get away I think. But will that help? I need to find someone who will obsess oer me for a change...and preferably one who I can infatuate myself with as well.
Is it ever to be?