Definitions..
Trust n. - belief in the honesty, reliability, etc. of another
Love n. - strong affection
--According to Webster's New World Pocket Dictionary Fourth Edition
Trust- don't have it. Love- not in it.
What does this mean for me?
This means that I am bitter, and angry, and upset, and hurt.
What does this mean for me and my relationships?
Oh, if you only knew. I had my first fight last night. Not my first ever, my first with *him*.
I seem to have lost all trust in him in one sinlge, solitary word: "Yes."
He didn't exactly lie, but he didn't exactly keep to his word.
Golly, this is complicated. I feel guilty. I feel guilty about being upset but should I really be feeling that way? ...
...I wish i knew the answer.
In every relationship I've been in, in every fight I've gotten to with a boyfriend, I've ALWAYS been talked down to. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I doubt it. I hate when people are condescending and rude. I hate when you're trying to explain yourself but they finish the sentence for you as if they know what you were going to say. And when you try to talk over them, they just talk louder so they are heard.
People need to listen more. Stop doing so much talking and listen. And actually listen. I hate when you can tell people are just sitting there and they just listen to you. They don't actually care what you have to say. You can tell they don't care because you can see in their eyes they are planning out the next thing they want to say to you before you even finish your sentence. It's so frustrating. All I want you to do is listen to my point of view and TRY to be objective about it. Just LISTEN. Don't sit there with your thoughts already in your head. Just listen to me. Because I KNOW when you just want to say what you have to say and have it be the final word. No. That's not the way it is. Just because YOU don't wanna talk about it, that doesn't that you can just cut off the conversation when you want.
When I fight, I don't fight to get my way. I don't fight to be a spoiled brat, so don't treat me like that.
I should not be sitting here in my LJ posting this. I should be talking to *him* about it. And yet, here I sit. Because i feel guilty about the way I feel. I feel guilty for feeling guilty and I feel guilty for being upset. Ugh. So much guilt. I feel like I'm turning away in defeat. I feel like a dog with its tail between it's legs after chewing up a flip flop. --Okay maybe that was a bad analogy, but that's how I feel tonight. I have two emotions running through my mind: Anger and Guilt. The worst combination ever.
I'm very anxious to see how the rest of the night goes.
Love n. - strong affection
--According to Webster's New World Pocket Dictionary Fourth Edition
Trust- don't have it. Love- not in it.
What does this mean for me?
This means that I am bitter, and angry, and upset, and hurt.
What does this mean for me and my relationships?
Oh, if you only knew. I had my first fight last night. Not my first ever, my first with *him*.
I seem to have lost all trust in him in one sinlge, solitary word: "Yes."
He didn't exactly lie, but he didn't exactly keep to his word.
Golly, this is complicated. I feel guilty. I feel guilty about being upset but should I really be feeling that way? ...
...I wish i knew the answer.
In every relationship I've been in, in every fight I've gotten to with a boyfriend, I've ALWAYS been talked down to. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I doubt it. I hate when people are condescending and rude. I hate when you're trying to explain yourself but they finish the sentence for you as if they know what you were going to say. And when you try to talk over them, they just talk louder so they are heard.
People need to listen more. Stop doing so much talking and listen. And actually listen. I hate when you can tell people are just sitting there and they just listen to you. They don't actually care what you have to say. You can tell they don't care because you can see in their eyes they are planning out the next thing they want to say to you before you even finish your sentence. It's so frustrating. All I want you to do is listen to my point of view and TRY to be objective about it. Just LISTEN. Don't sit there with your thoughts already in your head. Just listen to me. Because I KNOW when you just want to say what you have to say and have it be the final word. No. That's not the way it is. Just because YOU don't wanna talk about it, that doesn't that you can just cut off the conversation when you want.
When I fight, I don't fight to get my way. I don't fight to be a spoiled brat, so don't treat me like that.
I should not be sitting here in my LJ posting this. I should be talking to *him* about it. And yet, here I sit. Because i feel guilty about the way I feel. I feel guilty for feeling guilty and I feel guilty for being upset. Ugh. So much guilt. I feel like I'm turning away in defeat. I feel like a dog with its tail between it's legs after chewing up a flip flop. --Okay maybe that was a bad analogy, but that's how I feel tonight. I have two emotions running through my mind: Anger and Guilt. The worst combination ever.
I'm very anxious to see how the rest of the night goes.