Your Lips Gave You Away
I knew. Right from the start.
But I took the risk anyway right?
I decided to fall in love anyway.
I chose. I chose to feel it but now, you can't choose.
I still remember. Dressed all black, seen from the back.
That person just shone.
Ah well. We all thought it was just one of those "OMG SO CUTE" crushes.
Well, it's not.
It's been a year. I've been there and done the "OMG SO CUTE" thing.
I left that. And took up another type of feeling.
Even though I know I shouldn't.
But I guess humans tend to do that, right? They gravitate towards things they shouldn't do.
So here I am today.
I'm happy.
I have friends who love me and whom I love back.
I have my football mates who are the best second family any one could ever wish for.
I have an annoying yet absolutely all-in-one sister.
I have parents whom are both alive; regardless of being handicapped or not.
I get to play video games and go online and go out with friends
unlike some kids with strict parents who think that those kids would only be the best by just staying home.
I have my best friend. Through 7 years of knowing her, I've still got her here with me.
I have one of the best Singaporean friends anyone could ask for. And another 3 close ones I've just met. Plus another one. And another one.
I get the best steaks and grilled salmon dishes without having to get out of the house and sit down with a menu.
I don't get wet or get burned skin because I have a roof over my head.
I have humour because I'm so exposed to everything.
And I'm open-minded. Again, because I'm so exposed and that I have the awesomest people with me.
And last but not at all the least, I'm in love again after so long; regardless of whether I should be in love with this person or not.
I already knew from day one that that person would hardly ever return my feelings.
But look where I am now. I'm still in love.
I don't care if they know or not. I don't care if they feel the same way or not. I love that person. So, so what?
If one day, that person finds out, so be it. Not like I could stop it.
And then at that moment, it'd be that person's time to decide.
Because as long as that person's happy, well maybe I'll manage a smile for them.
I'm just as happy with my relationship with that person right now.
In fact, I've gotten so much out of it, that I'm starting to get greedy. But I guess again, I'm human.
Jeez I'm fourteen, give me a break, some cookies and give me time to decide on my happiness.
I won't just give up if my heart's broken. I've gotten stronger. Lesson learned.
I moved on. And so should you.
I don't hate you. I forgave you anyhow. So begging for forgiveness wouldn't even help a bit.
It won't make the pain lessen because it's too late.
But so what?
I'm happy. And right now, just let me be selfish for a bit and say that that's all that matters.
So why not be happy for me instead? Be happy that I'm happy.
That I've got my freedom. And then maybe some day you'll grow up, get a grip and know how I feel like right now.
Just plain happy.
I love you; that some one. And I wish I could tell you, but as you often say- "give me some time".
I have a glint of hope that maybe you'll love me back, even though it's taboo. But whatever.
I'm allowed to make mistakes. I hope God forgives me.
Or maybe if it doesn't turn out how I want it to, maybe if I work my way to heaven,
Maybe then I can be with you. Besides being able to have a thousand dogs, eat pork and drink as much wine as I want to. (Finally)
So to the other two yous, be happy for me please.
That's all I want from you. Thank you.
--E
But I took the risk anyway right?
I decided to fall in love anyway.
I chose. I chose to feel it but now, you can't choose.
I still remember. Dressed all black, seen from the back.
That person just shone.
Ah well. We all thought it was just one of those "OMG SO CUTE" crushes.
Well, it's not.
It's been a year. I've been there and done the "OMG SO CUTE" thing.
I left that. And took up another type of feeling.
Even though I know I shouldn't.
But I guess humans tend to do that, right? They gravitate towards things they shouldn't do.
So here I am today.
I'm happy.
I have friends who love me and whom I love back.
I have my football mates who are the best second family any one could ever wish for.
I have an annoying yet absolutely all-in-one sister.
I have parents whom are both alive; regardless of being handicapped or not.
I get to play video games and go online and go out with friends
unlike some kids with strict parents who think that those kids would only be the best by just staying home.
I have my best friend. Through 7 years of knowing her, I've still got her here with me.
I have one of the best Singaporean friends anyone could ask for. And another 3 close ones I've just met. Plus another one. And another one.
I get the best steaks and grilled salmon dishes without having to get out of the house and sit down with a menu.
I don't get wet or get burned skin because I have a roof over my head.
I have humour because I'm so exposed to everything.
And I'm open-minded. Again, because I'm so exposed and that I have the awesomest people with me.
And last but not at all the least, I'm in love again after so long; regardless of whether I should be in love with this person or not.
I already knew from day one that that person would hardly ever return my feelings.
But look where I am now. I'm still in love.
I don't care if they know or not. I don't care if they feel the same way or not. I love that person. So, so what?
If one day, that person finds out, so be it. Not like I could stop it.
And then at that moment, it'd be that person's time to decide.
Because as long as that person's happy, well maybe I'll manage a smile for them.
I'm just as happy with my relationship with that person right now.
In fact, I've gotten so much out of it, that I'm starting to get greedy. But I guess again, I'm human.
Jeez I'm fourteen, give me a break, some cookies and give me time to decide on my happiness.
I won't just give up if my heart's broken. I've gotten stronger. Lesson learned.
I moved on. And so should you.
I don't hate you. I forgave you anyhow. So begging for forgiveness wouldn't even help a bit.
It won't make the pain lessen because it's too late.
But so what?
I'm happy. And right now, just let me be selfish for a bit and say that that's all that matters.
So why not be happy for me instead? Be happy that I'm happy.
That I've got my freedom. And then maybe some day you'll grow up, get a grip and know how I feel like right now.
Just plain happy.
I love you; that some one. And I wish I could tell you, but as you often say- "give me some time".
I have a glint of hope that maybe you'll love me back, even though it's taboo. But whatever.
I'm allowed to make mistakes. I hope God forgives me.
Or maybe if it doesn't turn out how I want it to, maybe if I work my way to heaven,
Maybe then I can be with you. Besides being able to have a thousand dogs, eat pork and drink as much wine as I want to. (Finally)
So to the other two yous, be happy for me please.
That's all I want from you. Thank you.
--E