5 Fandom Things - Responses 2
For tthjinni:
Five Times Sheppard Got Caught Completely Naked
1. The Time Where New “Friends” Took All His Clothes and Tied Him Up - not his fault.
2. The One Where He Fell Into An Off-World Cesspit - Oh, come on. Like he was going to ride home like that. Even Ronon agreed, while clenching his eyes shut tight, that naked was better than covered in foul, stench-producing muck. And that one wasn’t really his fault either.
3. Why the HELL did the Ancients invent a defabricator anyway? Besides - still not HIS fault. Rodney was the one pointing the thing around willy-nilly.
4. The Time Where Faith Made THAT Face - okay, maybe his fault, but he’s only human and he really didn’t think the rest of the team would make it back to the jumper that quickly.
5. The Time Faith Had a Bright Idea and Made THAT Face - Only human didn’t really work for that time, but you know, the look on Rodney’s face and what had followed more than made up for the risk of going along with Faith’s plan to give Rodney a show he couldn’t refuse to join.
---o--O--o---
For Kaz824:
Five Females in Fabletown who Faith respects the LEAST
1. Mersey Dotes because she is totally content with being stuck in a podunk little pond out on the Farm. Dude, she’s fucking mermaid. What kind of self-respecting mermaid is okay with splashing around a pond?
2. Thumbelina because if Faith has to listen to her whine about how much it sucks to have 200 suitors one more time, Faith is gonna have to choke a bitch. Nevermind the fact she’s about to combust because that goddamn sexy beast of a sheriff only has eyes for a certain Ice Princess.
3. Mary and it’s not so much about respect as having no idea what do with a girl that won’t stop fucking crying over a lost lamb.
4. Rapunzel because if it were her, Faith would have figured out a way around that curse ages ago, but Rapunzel seems to just accept it as a given. Fight a little, Faith wants to scream at her.
5. Cindy, because dude, Ichabod? Really? At least, Faith thinks that until she and Cindy made that recon mission into the Homelands. Turns out the things Faith DIDN’T know about Cinderella could fill a book. These days, there’s not another Fable she rather drink, fight, or, if it comes to it, die with because Cindy’s a badass and Faith can respect the hell out of that.
---o--O--o---
Second one for blueanddollsome:
Five times Simon swore
1. The first time he saw River fight to the fullest of her abilities. It just sort of slipped out as everything he thought he knew about the lovely, delicate, fragile little thing he called his sister were replaced by images of a whirling dervish of death. Even Jayne was a little freaked out so Simon reasoned tiny string of profanity was not totally uncalled for.
2. The first time his sister got injured on a job. He swore at her, at Jayne, at the Captain, at himself for letting her go, at his instruments, even at Kaylee…swore a blue streak for five minutes and then, like always, the anger was gone and there was only the cold determination to meet the challenge at hand.
3. The first time he shot someone and actually hit them. He’d shot at lots of people before and never expected to actually hit one. The bullet tore through the man, blood burbling from his lips and all sorts of innards (part of his brain giggled in hysteria that “innards” was the word 8 years of medical education could provide) becoming outer…He ran for the bushes and doubled over, lips forming the same words - Wo de ma, wo de ma - between heaves. He hoped it was the last time he ever shot someone.
4. When River announced she was a woman, she would do as she pleased and what she pleased was doing Jayne. There really weren’t words - except there were and they involved a solemn observation that the entire world was being fucked by space monkeys because only then would what she said make any sense.
5. The first time Kaylee did that thing with her tongue and the words popped out before he could stop them. He was so embarrassed, but Kaylee - sweet, darling, innocent little Kaylee who, truth be told was anything BUT innocent, took the words like love poetry penned just for her. Her eyes glittered and she went wild. Well, with a reaction like that - I mean, he wasn’t the most educated person on Serenity for nothing. He was saying that and anything else he could think of as loudly as an often as possible when Kaylee au natural was involved.
---o--O--o---
For mynuet:
Five Things Snow wants to tell Rose
But first you have to read what she wrote when I asked for 5 Things Rose Red Wishes She Could Tell Snow.
1. Maybe I’m a little jealous of the way you do as you please. Okay, a lot jealous.
2. GROW UP! The world doesn’t revolve around you and one of these days I’m not going to be there to pick up the pieces.
3. Re: Boy Blue - Go for it. Also, you hurt him, I might have to kill you.
4. I forgive you. I forgave you ages ago. Blood is thicker than water and no matter what - you’re my sister.
5. I love and admire you too.
---o--O--o---
Second one for Booster17:
Five Things That House Removed From Inside Various Scoobies
1. A wickedly pointed boot heel from Spike - precise location edited. Of course, it wasn’t like it was going to kill Spike and House didn’t see why HE had to remove it. Faith had just smiled and hinted he’d be next if he didn’t shut his yap and just get on with it already.
2. A fridge Magnet from Andrew - He said he thought it was a real cookie and the Slayerettes had eaten every scrap of chocolate in sight. He was desperate.
3. A D&D figure from Dawn’s nose - which she insists Andrew stuck there while she was sleeping. Seeing as she’s 19 and a little past the age to stick things up her own nose, he’s inclined to believe her.
4. A stake from one of the Baby Slayer’s butts - which was made somewhat more difficult by her blubbering, Faith’s laughing and Buffy shooting daggers at all and sundry. Personally, he was with Faith. Supernatural slayer of evil sitting on her own stake - comedy gold!
5. A splinter from Faith’s finger - which was such an obvious excuse for her to come see him. He makes sure to really botch digging it out, pushing the tweezers into her skin and she doesn’t even bother to fake pain - just stares, lips twisting into a slow, inviting smirk. Somehow he doesn’t mind that she’s wasting his time or how sloppily flimsy her excuse was.
And a short and VERY silly response which doesn’t really count:
Five Things Faith Would Do With a Rocket Launcher
1. Look fucking HOT
2. Make things go boom
3. Look FUCKING hot
4. Have too much fun
5. Did we mention the hot?
---o--O--o---
Second one for brendanm720:
Five boyfriends of Dawn's that Buffy scared off
1. The One that was a Vampire
2. The One Buffy Wanted Too Because of that Damned Spell
3. Spike. Okay, she didn’t scare him off. Worse - she had sex with him. Ew!
4 - A Zillion - The boys Dawn never even met because her life is one big freak fest with the Slayer as her big sis.
---o--O--o---
Second one for badgerpants:
Five reasons Wash IS the bestest
1. He’s funny as all get out.
2. Look at the effect he has on Zoe.
3. He’s funny while being tortured - that’s a whole new level of badassery.
4. That dead calm when everything is falling apart.
5. Leaf. On. THE WIND. *sobs*
Five Times Sheppard Got Caught Completely Naked
1. The Time Where New “Friends” Took All His Clothes and Tied Him Up - not his fault.
2. The One Where He Fell Into An Off-World Cesspit - Oh, come on. Like he was going to ride home like that. Even Ronon agreed, while clenching his eyes shut tight, that naked was better than covered in foul, stench-producing muck. And that one wasn’t really his fault either.
3. Why the HELL did the Ancients invent a defabricator anyway? Besides - still not HIS fault. Rodney was the one pointing the thing around willy-nilly.
4. The Time Where Faith Made THAT Face - okay, maybe his fault, but he’s only human and he really didn’t think the rest of the team would make it back to the jumper that quickly.
5. The Time Faith Had a Bright Idea and Made THAT Face - Only human didn’t really work for that time, but you know, the look on Rodney’s face and what had followed more than made up for the risk of going along with Faith’s plan to give Rodney a show he couldn’t refuse to join.
---o--O--o---
For Kaz824:
Five Females in Fabletown who Faith respects the LEAST
1. Mersey Dotes because she is totally content with being stuck in a podunk little pond out on the Farm. Dude, she’s fucking mermaid. What kind of self-respecting mermaid is okay with splashing around a pond?
2. Thumbelina because if Faith has to listen to her whine about how much it sucks to have 200 suitors one more time, Faith is gonna have to choke a bitch. Nevermind the fact she’s about to combust because that goddamn sexy beast of a sheriff only has eyes for a certain Ice Princess.
3. Mary and it’s not so much about respect as having no idea what do with a girl that won’t stop fucking crying over a lost lamb.
4. Rapunzel because if it were her, Faith would have figured out a way around that curse ages ago, but Rapunzel seems to just accept it as a given. Fight a little, Faith wants to scream at her.
5. Cindy, because dude, Ichabod? Really? At least, Faith thinks that until she and Cindy made that recon mission into the Homelands. Turns out the things Faith DIDN’T know about Cinderella could fill a book. These days, there’s not another Fable she rather drink, fight, or, if it comes to it, die with because Cindy’s a badass and Faith can respect the hell out of that.
---o--O--o---
Second one for blueanddollsome:
Five times Simon swore
1. The first time he saw River fight to the fullest of her abilities. It just sort of slipped out as everything he thought he knew about the lovely, delicate, fragile little thing he called his sister were replaced by images of a whirling dervish of death. Even Jayne was a little freaked out so Simon reasoned tiny string of profanity was not totally uncalled for.
2. The first time his sister got injured on a job. He swore at her, at Jayne, at the Captain, at himself for letting her go, at his instruments, even at Kaylee…swore a blue streak for five minutes and then, like always, the anger was gone and there was only the cold determination to meet the challenge at hand.
3. The first time he shot someone and actually hit them. He’d shot at lots of people before and never expected to actually hit one. The bullet tore through the man, blood burbling from his lips and all sorts of innards (part of his brain giggled in hysteria that “innards” was the word 8 years of medical education could provide) becoming outer…He ran for the bushes and doubled over, lips forming the same words - Wo de ma, wo de ma - between heaves. He hoped it was the last time he ever shot someone.
4. When River announced she was a woman, she would do as she pleased and what she pleased was doing Jayne. There really weren’t words - except there were and they involved a solemn observation that the entire world was being fucked by space monkeys because only then would what she said make any sense.
5. The first time Kaylee did that thing with her tongue and the words popped out before he could stop them. He was so embarrassed, but Kaylee - sweet, darling, innocent little Kaylee who, truth be told was anything BUT innocent, took the words like love poetry penned just for her. Her eyes glittered and she went wild. Well, with a reaction like that - I mean, he wasn’t the most educated person on Serenity for nothing. He was saying that and anything else he could think of as loudly as an often as possible when Kaylee au natural was involved.
---o--O--o---
For mynuet:
Five Things Snow wants to tell Rose
But first you have to read what she wrote when I asked for 5 Things Rose Red Wishes She Could Tell Snow.
1. Maybe I’m a little jealous of the way you do as you please. Okay, a lot jealous.
2. GROW UP! The world doesn’t revolve around you and one of these days I’m not going to be there to pick up the pieces.
3. Re: Boy Blue - Go for it. Also, you hurt him, I might have to kill you.
4. I forgive you. I forgave you ages ago. Blood is thicker than water and no matter what - you’re my sister.
5. I love and admire you too.
---o--O--o---
Second one for Booster17:
Five Things That House Removed From Inside Various Scoobies
1. A wickedly pointed boot heel from Spike - precise location edited. Of course, it wasn’t like it was going to kill Spike and House didn’t see why HE had to remove it. Faith had just smiled and hinted he’d be next if he didn’t shut his yap and just get on with it already.
2. A fridge Magnet from Andrew - He said he thought it was a real cookie and the Slayerettes had eaten every scrap of chocolate in sight. He was desperate.
3. A D&D figure from Dawn’s nose - which she insists Andrew stuck there while she was sleeping. Seeing as she’s 19 and a little past the age to stick things up her own nose, he’s inclined to believe her.
4. A stake from one of the Baby Slayer’s butts - which was made somewhat more difficult by her blubbering, Faith’s laughing and Buffy shooting daggers at all and sundry. Personally, he was with Faith. Supernatural slayer of evil sitting on her own stake - comedy gold!
5. A splinter from Faith’s finger - which was such an obvious excuse for her to come see him. He makes sure to really botch digging it out, pushing the tweezers into her skin and she doesn’t even bother to fake pain - just stares, lips twisting into a slow, inviting smirk. Somehow he doesn’t mind that she’s wasting his time or how sloppily flimsy her excuse was.
And a short and VERY silly response which doesn’t really count:
Five Things Faith Would Do With a Rocket Launcher
1. Look fucking HOT
2. Make things go boom
3. Look FUCKING hot
4. Have too much fun
5. Did we mention the hot?
---o--O--o---
Second one for brendanm720:
Five boyfriends of Dawn's that Buffy scared off
1. The One that was a Vampire
2. The One Buffy Wanted Too Because of that Damned Spell
3. Spike. Okay, she didn’t scare him off. Worse - she had sex with him. Ew!
4 - A Zillion - The boys Dawn never even met because her life is one big freak fest with the Slayer as her big sis.
---o--O--o---
Second one for badgerpants:
Five reasons Wash IS the bestest
1. He’s funny as all get out.
2. Look at the effect he has on Zoe.
3. He’s funny while being tortured - that’s a whole new level of badassery.
4. That dead calm when everything is falling apart.
5. Leaf. On. THE WIND. *sobs*