Druging Candy: "Well, it's GHB with glitter in it. I guess that's magicy."
His door was at the end of a long brightly lit hallway by the front of the house. She vaguely remembered the specifications from the first set of architectural meetings and couldn't help but wonder how many Dr. Evil style traps she was walking over. Laurel stood outside the plain white door for a long moment. She really didn't want to knock on it...but unless she wanted to sleep on the living room couch, she didn't have much of a choice.
Her fingers had only barely rapped on the door before he answered; "Come in, Laurel."
The knob was unlocked. It used to bother her how they knew where she was at all times and how they'd predict her movements. A door that was always locked would be open, or someone who was normally on the hunt would be home when she needed. She had given up caring years ago; she belonged to them as much as they belonged to her. Perhaps moreso.
Her mind was not on loyalty or fealty when she entered the stark room but rather on the drama that was upstairs. The changeling she had interrupted raised his eyebrow slightly as she walked into his sparsely decorated room and shut the door. Strong, sculpted hands set down a well worn book as he looked up at her.
"Problems?"
He swung his legs off the bed and she carefully settled herself beside him before smiling a bit ruefully. They weren't really big on communication, and she rarely visited him in his space. Clearly if she was here 'problems' would be a way to put it.
She didn't bother answering and he didn't push. He went back to his book while she took off her pointed boots. "I don't understand them."
He put his book down again. "I don't either. I don't know why you deal with them."
Them was a well defined term in the House of Thorns. Outsiders. Not us. Laurel frowned at the scuff in one of her boots. "They are useful. They amuse me. They, I don't know." She sighed in frustration as she groped for the answer. "Because it is what we are supposed to do. We interact. We remind ourselves we aren't alone. Something."
Graceful shoulders shrugged. "We aren't alone. We have Thorns."
Laurel glanced his way; "You aren't helping."
A hint of a smile played across his features. "Sorry." He moved his closed book from his lap to the end table and gave her his full attention. "What don't you understand?"
She flipped her her long blue-black hair. "Them," she said with disdain.
"Yes, I know" He still had that half smile. "Why don't you understand them? What happened?"
Laurel clenched a fist before gesturing extravagantly. It was her standard lead in to some long complicated story that she didn't really want to tell. "So, a girl approached us on the market asking for some magical love drug. Upon discussion it turned out to be less of a love potion she was looking for and just an oh-my-god-fuck me now drug. She wanted it to be magical, but magic still hasn't surpassed GHB. So I was going to toss some glitter in it, call it magic, and pass it her way. As I was getting the glitter, she mentioned she wanted it for Candy."
"The girl that has thing thing for you?"
"She doesn't have a thing for me," Laurel countered, "she's just a friend." To his credit, he didn't say "sure" or any other such 'helpful' comment. Laurel continued over her knight's silence before he had a chance. "But yes. That Candy. So rather than the GHB, I grabbed some of the crazy Nazi's powder he always pushes..."
"Calcium."
"...and mixed that with glitter. I gave it to the girl and sent her on her way. I called Candy to let her know what was going on and she agreed to be drugged by the powder with the glitter in it. They met up in the Grove for drinks, and Candy got herself 'drugged.' They went back to a hotel and tried to get it on. It failed horrifically."
She shook her head negatively at his inquisitive look. "I don't know. I wasn't there. But one of them went running one way and the other went the other way. I got messages from both of them that the world was ending, the sky was falling, and that everything was wrong in the world."
He was expressionless now except for the one eyebrow slightly cocked to tell her he was paying attention. He had shifted while she spoke and now the long legs typical of his kith reached along the bed till they were almost touching her where she sat comfortably at the edge. His hands were crossed calmly in his lap as he listened; hers gesticulated wildly as she spun her tale. He didn't smile, but his eyes were sparkling as he watched her. "And...?"
Laurel's voice was disapproving, scornful, as she continued. "And so I had to go get them. I called Candy and informed her that she was to return to the manner at once. She, of course, did." She paused to glare at him and he held up in his hands in a 'I didn't say shit' gesture. "I then went after the girl and drug her wretchedness back to the House. I put them in opposite wings and took turns dealing with their hystericalness. Finally, after they sobbed themselves into acceptance that someone not wanting to have sex with them meant the world wasn't going to end, I was able to get them to talk it out. They agreed to meet on neutral ground."
Laurel rolled her eyes at the ceiling while taking a drink of the water he offered her. She handed it back as she continued. "Of course, the only neutral ground they could agree on was my room. So they talked. And talked. And cried some. It was truly nonsensical. But after talking and crying and saying the same thing over and over for hours, they finally curled up in my bed and fell asleep."
At his flat, but slightly amused, gaze she flipped back her hair which had trespassed over one shoulder. "What? That is what happened. That is what I don't understand. Them."
He rubbed his calloused fingers together for a bit before answering. "What? Hm. You sold glitter as a date rape drug and are upset that it went wrong. Doesn't that seem a bit...absurd to you?"
"No." Her hair shook behind her as she answered. "What seem absurd is that I sold someone glitter as a date rape drug and they end up cuddling with their intended and sober victim in my bed. That seems absurd to me."
"You should have just sold her the drug. They would have had a fine time and not been in your bed."
Laurel shrugged. "It just didn't seem right to drug Candy. She'd do it anyway if I asked. This way we got to save product and avoid a friend being forced into involuntary sex." She waved away his skeptical look. "If it was up to you we'd kill, drug, or maim everything."
He nodded. "Morals get in the way, love. You keep forgetting that." The pause in conversation indicated their slight disagreement; he moved on. "You done worrying about the mess in your bed?"
"Si, thank you." She ran her hands through her hair. "They just..."
"I know." He stood up next to his narrow bed, clearly offering it to her. "Are you staying here tonight?"
She nodded yes. "With you."
"With me?" He was surprised.
"Si. What else are knights for?"
"Please, Laurel," he said with a smile, "Liches. Not knights. We are bad guys, after all."
She laughed. "Fine. What else are liches for?"
That got a real smile out of him. "I don't know. Let me go lock down this side of the house and I'll see if I can't answer that question for you."
When he came back, Laurel greeted her knight in a way that would make the women upstairs envious.
With thanks to skaski_genki, Stephs_Stories, and Sam.e.