not a very happy camper

[roxyxsnowxangel]

well, i haven't written in here in like... a long time. life's been kindda... bleh. i went to the japanese academy which was fun, minus the almost getting kicked out part, which i don't feel like typing so let's just pretend like i'm a major badass and that's why. justin and i are dating, but i'm not sure how long that's going to hold up. when i first got back from jla, things were good. and then a couple days later things got weird and stayed like that for about a week, maybe longer. one night i called and asked if he wanted to come over for dinner and just chill and he did. we ended up going fishing at my dad's friend's house and then drove around. he started to get normal, and then when we got back to my house, he was totally fine. so i was like "i'm glad you're back to normal" and he was like "yeah, i don't know what my problem was. well.... i do... but i'm not going to tell you because you'll get mad." that's not the way to go about things, so i got him to tell me. he said he was rethinking everything cause he wasn't sure if he wanted a girlfriend at the time. then he talked to nathan and figured things out and decided he did want a girlfriend. he told me he liked me so much that he couldn't get away and that i don't need to worry about him being weird again. so things were normal.. for about a week. then he started acting weird again, and he's still doing it. i just don't understand. like the other night he told me he wasn't going out, so i made plans and then he called asking if i'd go out. i knew i wasn't going to be out long with the other people, so i met him later on. things were weird. when i got there, he was really sweet. i couldn't see where i was going cause we were going through someone's yard so he was a sweetheart and took my hand and led me and all that, and then when we got down  to the guys, he dropped my hand.... not cool. then everyone was in the smoke circle, and i just stood there. nathan passed me the bowl and i said no but justin said he didn't care, which wasn't what he had said just a few days ago. so apparently i can only smoke with him, which is kindda retarded. but later on he started being sweet again and things were good. well that was tuesday, and he's been blowing me off since. i called and asked if i could see him tonight and he was like call back later, i'm eating. so i did and he was still at ryan's house. well i was going into town anyways so i was like if i call when i'm in town, can i see you? and he said yeah. well, i called and he was like "well, it looks like we're going to be here for a long time, then we're going to eric deaver's party." WTF?! why..?? so i didn't get to see him. i was so pissed i was crying the whole way home and then bawled to mom. she's trying to get me to break up with him, but i like him too much to do that, which is sad that i can still like him after he's been so rude. but enough of that.

i finally talked to libby tonight! she was like my best friend from the academy. her birthday was the other day. she just turned 16! i felt so old at jla. jeeze i miss it so much!

but i'm going to bed now cause i cried a ton earlier so my eyes are tired and i have to go to fucking church in the morning and then to the river so i'd better get sleep cause i slept like shit last night:(

i need to update more... oh well...

minx