TSCC fic: Salvation in the Grass

[roxybisquaint]

Title: Salvation in the Grass
Author: Roxy Bisquaint
Characters: Focus on Sarah and Derek, minor appearances by John and Cameron
Rating: Teen (language)
Word Count: ~4600
Summary: Sarah and Derek find common ground in the loss of Kyle.
Notes: Thanks to life_on_queen for beta reading.

Comments

[miniglik]

I'm just starting it (I've had it bookmarked since you first put it up on TWOP), but I just thought you should know there are other places you can post it too, like scc_fic. (People link to their stories from multiple LJ coms often.)

"I shouldn't be surprised. He carried that old picture of you around with him forever. Said you were his 'lucky charm'... guess he was wrong about that."

I still love this. It might be my favorite part of the whole fic.

No, probably this:
"When I go," she stood up, "bury me here in the grass, next to him."

"Somehow I doubt I'd be around for that. My life's a little more expendable than yours." He said it so matter-of-factly, that it was clear he believed it.

Sarah turned and put her hands on his arms, looking him in the eyes. "No one's expendable."

It just conveys so much: Sarah's love for Kyle. Derek's belief that his role is to die and his almost callous disregard for human like, and Sarah's belief that life is precious. Good.

Just to be balanced I'll throw in a few criticism (but they're so tiny). 1) I wouldn't use "literally" at all, ever, in a fic. It's one of those words people throw into speech for effect, but doesn't work well in writing. Although it's hard not to do it. And 2) while I appreciated the humor of the last line, is Derek really going to ask about Kyle/Sarah sex details? Really? :) And 3) Cameron glares? I love the bit with the bathroom, but I think she gives a cold stare, not an angry one.

I think it was very enjoyable and well written. Your Sarah characterization is great. Derek's is a bit spottier (for me!) but still interesting. And Cameron and John are amusing.

[roxybisquaint]

Thanks for the comments and the tips. I think the 2 parts you quoted are my favorite too actually. With the ending, Derek wasn't really asking for "details". He was just having a little fun.