Apr 04, 2006 21:45
Welp...i havent written in here for awhile...and i thought maybe today was a good day to write down all the feelings i have stuck inside of me. It seems like its easier to write down your feelings then when you actually have to tell some one!!! I have been feeling weird lately, it seems things are good and then bad and nothing in my life seems to make sence right now. I know everything happens for a reason but what could this reason be...i mean i thought i was doing everything right, i thought that it was going to be ok, and my life was going good...but then crash and burn again!!! So what should i think or feel then...i mean i know that for some reason right now im suppose to be alone and learning, but its not working when someone or something keeps entering into my life.
Another thing that scarys is me is do i want to be here or should i go home?? I know im a big girl now and i know that im suppose to be tuff and relaxed or try to be tuff and be the brave girl i know i am, but it doesnt seem right im scared...i dont like change!! Im scared of being alone and not having anyone with me...i know people say you have your family, but i dont even have that!! They rather be other places then caring or seeing eachother...thats not right..why cant things be like they were when we were little..i miss those days..i dont think things are suppose to be like this anymore, i hate that we never talk or that you cant come and be with me!! YOur suppose to be there for me but your not and thats not right, we may have are differences but i cant take it anymore, stop saying u love us or me...stop lying your wrong you dont, you dont care at all!!
Forget it im done, im sick of hiding my feelings and not telling me that you will be there and then never show up thats not right at all.....so i guess this is good bye and that we need to move on, go be with ur friends and people you apparently care about...im done!!!
Good bye!