Here's a story...
It's storytime children, and today is the story of Kristin's really long-ass day.
Once upon a time, Kristin had to work at 6am in the kingdom of Petsmart. The snow was so bad the night before, and when she awoke the next morning (15 minutes after she was supposed to be at work... SHIT) it was no better, so she procured her father's SUV with traction control. So, Kristin drove the entire way through ice and iced over snow in her father's trustworthy SUV, still only going 20 miles an hour the whole way so as to not crash headfirst into an embankment. Plus, Kristin's manager told her "Don't rush, I don't care if you're late drive CAREFULLY" so, that she did. It was sound advice after all.
Kristin worked 7 and a half hours of her 8 and a half hour shift (having missed the first hour). She had forgotten her punch card, and a chinchilla kicked a glass bottle at her and it went crashing to the ground, shattered. 7.5 hours and one store used-glass waterbottle later, Kristin was out of work and ready to make the slow, plodding, but safe drive home. She started the car and by the time she was five minutes out of the parking lot at Ye Olde Petsmart, all the dash lights dimmed, as did the headlights, and the radio volume sank to a whisper. Kristin was baffled, to say the least. She continued for another thirty seconds, and the dash lights all but disappeared, the volume would not right itself, and the battery indicator light was lit (barely, but there it was) and the abs breaks turned OFF. Kristin was suddenly worried she might not make it home in dad's SUV after all.
Wisely, Kristin decided she would pull over into the nearest available parking lot so as to not get stuck in the middle of a main road in this disgusting weather. She landed in the parking lot of a tiny little un-noticeable convenience store on 117 called "Convenience Plus". She parked the car in the 2 cubic feet of parking lot that was not COMPLETELY UNPLOWED. She then called her parents. They were on their way now to come rescue her. When they arrived the first thing that was attempted was starting the car themselves. It started for them fine. Of course. Embarassing? Maybe. Except as they pull to the exit of the lot, Kristin right behind them in the car they had driven to pick her up, the car stalled. Everything shut off and it stopped directly blocking (ONE OF) the exit(s) to the parking lot. Kristin was certainly less embarassed to know that her concerns were valid. However, she was not so excited to hear that in addition to the 40 minutes she had already spent in the parking lot, she was looking forward to waiting with her parents for a tow truck. The eta was an hour and a half. It didn't quite take that long, but it was still another hour or so spent in the freezing cold.
The worst part of the wait was the evil ass monkey who ran the convenience store. He comes out, all huffy, saying that the Palardy's had parked their SUV illegally and no one can come into his parking lot, cutting down his already meager business. Kristin HAD noticed a second entrance and wondered why his lack of plowed parking spaces wasn't the ACTUAL reason he wasn't getting any business... however, I digress. He argues with my parents,saying they must park elsewhere. They keep saying "IT'S NOT PARKED, ITS DEAD" but apparently all he knew how to say (in english anyway) was "BUT YOU MUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY". So eventually the insensitive fucker tells the parents to push it. He helps, but still-- this is one short small woman (mother palardy, Nancy), an overweight man of 47ish who hasn't seen a doctor in about 20 years and god knows how bad this is for HIS health, and a small middle eastern man who is of no help at all. (Kristin was designated official putter-into-neutral and steerer).
The pushing was an amusing attempt. The three of them could not budge the HUGE SUV. Gee... ya think? A fourth guy, a little more burly, stops eventually and helps the three pushers. Eventually the car is painstakingly pushed to the curb. Convenience store owner and insufferable fucker goes right back in without offering us a place to stand inside, hot drinks (not even for money), or a phone. Mother palardy was halfway through handing Kristin a 20 to go inside and get them all a cheap convenience store coffee to keep them warm, but out of principle refused to spend a single cent in the store of this man (do you blame her?). Kristin, therefor, added one more job to her repetoire-- she was the getter of Dunkin Donuts. She drove to the nearest DD and procured croissants and hot chocolate (coffee for Mama Palardy).
The tow truck guy arrives, and says "We should get this car moved as quickly as possible, don't want to block the guy's parking lot for too long". Father Palardy says, under his breath "Yeah god forbid we slow down business". And the truck driver inquires about dad's comment. Dad tells him what happened in a few words. Truck driver replies: Ugh.. He's a pissy little hadji isn't he? Racially insensitive as the comment is, the man's unforgiveable assholery makes up for it and the Palardy clan laughs heartily and follows him to Tarbox Hyundai where he drops the car off and leaves us with a smile.
I got out of work at 2:30. I was home by 6:30.
And then the door latch release button on our microwave broke while food was still in it. My dad and I took salad tongs and a spatula to the door, prying it open. The microwave has officially shit the bed, and my Dad's car is in the shop with alternator problems or some such electrical issue, and the dollar signs just pile up after that. What an awesome day. I'm tired.
I think the moral of this story is, no matter how bad the roads are, don't trust any car but my beloved green hyundai Accent, Elfie. She will get me home even if she doesn't have traction control OR four wheel drive.
Once upon a time, Kristin had to work at 6am in the kingdom of Petsmart. The snow was so bad the night before, and when she awoke the next morning (15 minutes after she was supposed to be at work... SHIT) it was no better, so she procured her father's SUV with traction control. So, Kristin drove the entire way through ice and iced over snow in her father's trustworthy SUV, still only going 20 miles an hour the whole way so as to not crash headfirst into an embankment. Plus, Kristin's manager told her "Don't rush, I don't care if you're late drive CAREFULLY" so, that she did. It was sound advice after all.
Kristin worked 7 and a half hours of her 8 and a half hour shift (having missed the first hour). She had forgotten her punch card, and a chinchilla kicked a glass bottle at her and it went crashing to the ground, shattered. 7.5 hours and one store used-glass waterbottle later, Kristin was out of work and ready to make the slow, plodding, but safe drive home. She started the car and by the time she was five minutes out of the parking lot at Ye Olde Petsmart, all the dash lights dimmed, as did the headlights, and the radio volume sank to a whisper. Kristin was baffled, to say the least. She continued for another thirty seconds, and the dash lights all but disappeared, the volume would not right itself, and the battery indicator light was lit (barely, but there it was) and the abs breaks turned OFF. Kristin was suddenly worried she might not make it home in dad's SUV after all.
Wisely, Kristin decided she would pull over into the nearest available parking lot so as to not get stuck in the middle of a main road in this disgusting weather. She landed in the parking lot of a tiny little un-noticeable convenience store on 117 called "Convenience Plus". She parked the car in the 2 cubic feet of parking lot that was not COMPLETELY UNPLOWED. She then called her parents. They were on their way now to come rescue her. When they arrived the first thing that was attempted was starting the car themselves. It started for them fine. Of course. Embarassing? Maybe. Except as they pull to the exit of the lot, Kristin right behind them in the car they had driven to pick her up, the car stalled. Everything shut off and it stopped directly blocking (ONE OF) the exit(s) to the parking lot. Kristin was certainly less embarassed to know that her concerns were valid. However, she was not so excited to hear that in addition to the 40 minutes she had already spent in the parking lot, she was looking forward to waiting with her parents for a tow truck. The eta was an hour and a half. It didn't quite take that long, but it was still another hour or so spent in the freezing cold.
The worst part of the wait was the evil ass monkey who ran the convenience store. He comes out, all huffy, saying that the Palardy's had parked their SUV illegally and no one can come into his parking lot, cutting down his already meager business. Kristin HAD noticed a second entrance and wondered why his lack of plowed parking spaces wasn't the ACTUAL reason he wasn't getting any business... however, I digress. He argues with my parents,saying they must park elsewhere. They keep saying "IT'S NOT PARKED, ITS DEAD" but apparently all he knew how to say (in english anyway) was "BUT YOU MUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY". So eventually the insensitive fucker tells the parents to push it. He helps, but still-- this is one short small woman (mother palardy, Nancy), an overweight man of 47ish who hasn't seen a doctor in about 20 years and god knows how bad this is for HIS health, and a small middle eastern man who is of no help at all. (Kristin was designated official putter-into-neutral and steerer).
The pushing was an amusing attempt. The three of them could not budge the HUGE SUV. Gee... ya think? A fourth guy, a little more burly, stops eventually and helps the three pushers. Eventually the car is painstakingly pushed to the curb. Convenience store owner and insufferable fucker goes right back in without offering us a place to stand inside, hot drinks (not even for money), or a phone. Mother palardy was halfway through handing Kristin a 20 to go inside and get them all a cheap convenience store coffee to keep them warm, but out of principle refused to spend a single cent in the store of this man (do you blame her?). Kristin, therefor, added one more job to her repetoire-- she was the getter of Dunkin Donuts. She drove to the nearest DD and procured croissants and hot chocolate (coffee for Mama Palardy).
The tow truck guy arrives, and says "We should get this car moved as quickly as possible, don't want to block the guy's parking lot for too long". Father Palardy says, under his breath "Yeah god forbid we slow down business". And the truck driver inquires about dad's comment. Dad tells him what happened in a few words. Truck driver replies: Ugh.. He's a pissy little hadji isn't he? Racially insensitive as the comment is, the man's unforgiveable assholery makes up for it and the Palardy clan laughs heartily and follows him to Tarbox Hyundai where he drops the car off and leaves us with a smile.
I got out of work at 2:30. I was home by 6:30.
And then the door latch release button on our microwave broke while food was still in it. My dad and I took salad tongs and a spatula to the door, prying it open. The microwave has officially shit the bed, and my Dad's car is in the shop with alternator problems or some such electrical issue, and the dollar signs just pile up after that. What an awesome day. I'm tired.
I think the moral of this story is, no matter how bad the roads are, don't trust any car but my beloved green hyundai Accent, Elfie. She will get me home even if she doesn't have traction control OR four wheel drive.