(no subject)
I failed to mention that my Nina Martina passed away Friday morning. She had been fighting cancer for years, and the week before she died the doctors told her she only had three months left. Three days later she went. Luckly, my mom, sister and I when to see her the day before. After school. Us and my Tio Rudy. Everyone else said, "Oh. We'll go see her tomorrow." But she wasn't there when tomorrow came.
She wished to be creamated, so we won't ever see her again. But when I went to see her on the last day of her life so looked so different. It scared me. And she was so disorented. She asked how my dad was. (Actually, nina isn't anyone's nina except my dad's. And I think she loved him most.) And she said we, my sister and I, were beautiful. That's all she could say. Just talking seemed to ware her out. But I didn't think she'd go the very next morning. Twelve hours later. Crazy how life works.
Even though we were notified first thing in the morning, (exactly after my alarm went off. No snooze was needed. I was awake.), I still went to school. And this may sound messed up, but I had a great day. Better than usual. Maybe her being gone gave me comfort that she wasn't in pain anymore. My subconcience.
But it's scary. Everyone is going. Leaving. And no one can do anything about it. This may be horrible, but I'm just terrified of who's next. It could be anyone. Unexpectedly, like my grandpa.
These thoughts keep me up at night.
She wished to be creamated, so we won't ever see her again. But when I went to see her on the last day of her life so looked so different. It scared me. And she was so disorented. She asked how my dad was. (Actually, nina isn't anyone's nina except my dad's. And I think she loved him most.) And she said we, my sister and I, were beautiful. That's all she could say. Just talking seemed to ware her out. But I didn't think she'd go the very next morning. Twelve hours later. Crazy how life works.
Even though we were notified first thing in the morning, (exactly after my alarm went off. No snooze was needed. I was awake.), I still went to school. And this may sound messed up, but I had a great day. Better than usual. Maybe her being gone gave me comfort that she wasn't in pain anymore. My subconcience.
But it's scary. Everyone is going. Leaving. And no one can do anything about it. This may be horrible, but I'm just terrified of who's next. It could be anyone. Unexpectedly, like my grandpa.
These thoughts keep me up at night.