YA FIC: Doubt
This one comes after Free Will. I just noticed a little look on Hamilton's face when Bella and Jake hugged...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake watched as Bella accepted a birthday present from Scout, noting the radiant smile on Bella’s face.
“There’s something going on with those two,” she remarked to Hamilton.
“With those two? What about you and Bella - what was up with that hug?”
Jake flexed her shoulders in a macho shrug. “Well, you know, I seem to be the type of guy chicks find irresistible…first Lena, now Bella.”
Hamilton’s brows lowered until he saw her grin. “Funny.”
She laughed. “No, I stopped in for gas the other day and we talked for a while. She’s pretty cool.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Jake looked around before leaning in to say in a low voice, “She knows about me.”
His eyes widened. “You told her?”
“No, I didn’t tell her. She guessed.”
“She just guessed? How?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s a girl thing, but she figured it out.”
“Lena didn’t.”
“Yeah, well, Lena’s probably still in love with her ex-boyfriend. She did say I looked like him.”
“Yeah, maybe. So…what did you and Bella talk about?” Jake, still watching Bella and Scout, didn’t notice the intense way Hamilton watched her as he waited for her answer.
“Just, you know, girl talk.” A small smile came to Jake’s lips as she remembered Bella asking her about Hamilton. “It’s funny…I’d forgotten how much different it is being with another girl - as a girl, I mean.”
“Yeah?” Hamilton blinked and his eyebrows twitched, but he didn’t say anything else.
“It was fun.” She gave Bella and Scout one more considering gaze then looked at Hamilton. “Hey, you want to get out of here? We could go for a ride or something.”
He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”
“Okay, just let me say good-bye to Bella.”
They approached a laughing Bella and wished her a happy birthday. Hamilton, seeing the looks Bella and Jake were exchanging, said, “Well, have a good one, Bella. Jake, I’ll be outside.”
“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute.”
As he walked out of the diner, Bella pulled Jake into a corner to talk in private.
“So, everything’s okay with you two?”
A brilliant smile lit Jake’s face. “VERY okay.”
The two of them shared a quiet, decidedly girlish giggle, which Jake, looking around furtively, stifled by clearing her throat and reassuming her “guy” stance. “So, Sean…there’s another cutie. What’s the deal with him?”
Bella looked fondly at Sean, who smiled back at her while talking to Will. “Sean is…Sean. I’ve known him my whole life.”
“Well, you’ve known Will all your life too, but I haven’t seen you looking at him the way you look at Sean…or at Scout, for that matter. That’s a tough choice you have there.”
Sadness flickered across Bella’s face and her eyes seemed to be drawn to Scout. “No, there’s no choice at all.”
Jake, contrite, put one hand on Bella’s arm. “Hey, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean - “
Bella shook her head. “No, I know.” She looked toward the entrance to the diner and smiled to see Hamilton watching them. “You’d better go. Hamilton looks like he’s impatient to get you alone.”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, he usually is.” She reached over to give Bella a warm hug. “Happy Birthday, Bella.”
Bella squeezed her back. “Thanks, Jake. Have fun with Hamilton.”
Jake waggled her eyebrows. “Oh, I will.” The two girls shared another surreptitious giggle before Jake walked out to join Hamilton.
One side of his mouth tilted up as Jake neared him. “All set?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
They walked in silence to her bike, Jake sneaking occasional peeks at Hamilton’s pensive face. She handed him one of the helmets. “You want to drive?”
He looked at her in surprise. “Really?”
“Sure. You’ve got to know the area better than I do. I’d probably get lost.”
“Cool. Where do you want to go?”
“Mm…nowhere in particular. Let’s just ride. It’s such a beautiful night.”
As he mounted the bike and started the engine, she settled into place behind him, resting her hands on his waist. As soon as they drove out of town, she leaned forward against him, sliding her hands across his stomach. She smiled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder and another to the side of his neck. Hamilton tossed a lopsided smile at her over his shoulder and rubbed his back against her.
Jake rested her head against his shoulder and heaved a happy sigh, savoring this rare moment of being together without pretending. Especially after the emotional upheaval of the last couple of days. It was funny. She had always been completely independent, making her own decisions, going her own way, but in such a short time, this guy had become the center of her world.
In some ways, it scared her, this uncontrollable need for, and complete vulnerability to, another person. At the same time, nothing had ever been as thrilling or as wonderful. All her life, she had longed to be loved and wanted, and for some miraculous reason, Hamilton did both. Not that they hadn’t had some bumps in the road; in their bizarre circumstance, it was inevitable. But still she knew without the slightest doubt that he loved her. If anything, he seemed to be so much in love with her that occasionally he seemed to lose access to some of his higher brain functions. It was actually very sweet, if a bit frustrating at times.
She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and hugged him to her as she thought about him wanting to move in with her. Most guys avoided any kind of commitment like the plague, but not her Hamilton. Oh, no, he threw himself heart and soul into this, with not a thought to the consequences, not a pause to consider the ramifications.
It was all so amazingly, fantastically overwhelming. And she couldn’t imagine wanting anything different.
Jake closed her eyes and let her mind drift as Hamilton took them around the lake, using back roads he had learned from years of living there. She reveled in the feel of Hamilton against her, the vibrations of the powerful machine they were riding and the wind whipping around them. It was with some surprise that she felt them come to a halt and opened her eyes to see that they were next to the place where she hid her bike.
As Hamilton turned off the bike and removed his helmet, she gave him a curious look, wondering why he had made the ride so short. He gave her a little smile and set to work covering the bike with the tarp bundled nearby, so she hopped off the bike, removed her own helmet and helped him. Once they were done, they began walking towards the school. Jake, somewhat discomfited by Hamilton’s silence, reached down and took his hand in hers, threading her fingers through his. He half-smiled and squeezed her hand but still said nothing.
“That was nice. We should do that more often.”
He nodded and squeezed her hand again. She stole another look at him, starting to get concerned. She wasn’t getting an angry vibe from him, just a thoughtful, distracted one. Something was bothering him.
They came to a point where they could head to the right to go to the dorms or head left towards Hamilton’s house. Jake automatically veered to the right, but Hamilton drew to a halt and, looking to the left, said, “I should probably get home.”
Jake gave his hand a gentle tug. “You want to come up to my room for a while? It’s Friday night - we’ll probably have most of the dorm to ourselves.” She smiled with a suggestive flick of her eyebrows.
“Um…not tonight, okay?”
All right, something was definitely wrong here. Jake took a step closer to get a better look at his face. “Hamilton, are you okay?”
He attempted a smile. “I’m fine…I just haven’t slept well the last couple of nights.”
She studied his face and decided not to press him on this now, so she just shrugged and smiled. “Okay. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, tomorrow. Night, Jake.”
He turned and, hands shoved in his pockets, walked away, while Jake’s mouth fell open.
“Hey, Hamilton?”
He turned. “Yeah?”
She held his eyes with hers as she slowly walked toward him. She stopped when she was within inches of him, reached up, clasped his face in her hands and kissed him. His lips opened on contact and his tongue came forward to meet hers. She gave him just a taste before letting go of his head and stepping back with a knowing smile. She licked her lips and whispered, “Good night, Hamilton” and sauntered away.
He watched her walk away then sighed. He didn’t really want to go home yet, so he headed toward the lake, hoping a walk would clear his head a little.
He would have loved to have gone to Jake’s room and spent the rest of the evening with her. Hell, she was all he thought about lately. And it wasn’t even about sex, though God knew he was pretty damn eager for that. But he had meant it when he said she was his best friend. He’d never known anyone like her before; she was smart, funny and so strong. It might be a total pain in the ass, but he admired the way she had pulled off the boy act. And though it was confusing as hell, it was also cool to him that his buddy was also this total babe…and that he was the only one who knew it, reputation problems aside.
All in all, he wanted to spend every waking moment with her, to talk to her, to see that beautiful smile come across her face, to hear that sexy laugh. He felt an amazing combination of totally comfortable mixed with completely excited any time he was near her.
Definitely confusing. But nice, very, very nice.
He came to the steps leading down to the lake and sat on the top one and just stared at the lake, his mind racing. He’d been there maybe thirty minutes when he felt a presence behind him and Jake settled onto the step beside him.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Hamilton.” She mimicked his posture, elbows on knees and hands clasped together, staring across the water. “So…I called your house and your mom told me you hadn’t come home yet. Add that to the fact that you passed on what would probably have been THE make-out session of your life…and I figure something is up. So, what gives, Hamilton?”
He took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking, Jake.”
“Oh, no,” she muttered under her breath.”
“I think…maybe you should leave Rawley.”
Her head whipped toward him and she straightened up as she bit out, “What??”
“I was being selfish before, not wanting you to leave, and I just think we should …you know, consider other options.”
She put one hand on his shoulder and pulled him to face her. “What are you talking about, Hamilton?”
“Well, you could go to another school, maybe one not too far away. We could see each other on weekends and holidays and we can talk all the time on the phone - ”
“Whoa-whoa-whoa-WHOA! Hamilton, I thought you didn’t want me to leave?”
“I don’t!” He surged to his feet and walked down to stand on the dock, whirling around as she came to stand behind him. “But, this isn’t fair to you and you were right…you can’t keep living like this.”
“Well, it’s not fair to either one of us, and obviously I wouldn’t do it forever, but I’m fine with it for now.” He looked down and chewed on his lower lip. “Hamilton, what brought this on?”
“I don’t know, lots of things.” She lifted her brows and waited for him to fill her in. “Jake, you said it yourself…you miss being a girl, being with other girls, doing…girl things.”
“Yeah…And?”
“And, you should be able to do all that. You shouldn’t have to keep pretending - you did what you came here to do, you got your mother’s attention, so you don’t have to keep this up.”
“But - “
He cupped her face in his hands. “Jake, look, I love you, you know that, and I would miss you like hell, but I want you to be happy.”
“I’m happy here with you.”
“But, in the long run, it would be better for you if you could have a normal life.”
“Hamilton, you’re doing it again.”
His hands dropped. “Doing what?”
“Making my decisions for me, deciding on your own what I should do and just letting your crazy little ideas take over everything.”
“Jake - “
“No, no, I understand perfectly. My big man has decided that it would be best for me to go to a “girl” school. Well, let me just pack my bags right now!”
She swiveled around and stomped back in the direction of the dorms. Hamilton, after a few seconds of staring at her angry back with his mouth open, ran after her.
“Jake. Jake, would you slow down?”
She ground to a halt. “Oh, my lord and master has spoken. Is this better?”
“Would you stop that? I wasn’t telling you you had to go, I just thought we should think about it!”
“Oh, you’re not telling me I have to go so it’s okay if I think about it too. Thank you so much.”
He gave a groaning sigh and threw his hands up. “What the hell, Jake, I just want you to be happy!”
“I AM happy, damn it! Why would you think I’m not happy?”
He avoided her eyes.
“Hamilton?”
“Because I saw you!” he finally burst out.
“Saw me what?”
“With Bella…”
“So, what, you think I’m a lesbian now?”
“No, of course not.” He released a totally frustrated breath of air. “I just meant, you said you missed being with girls as a girl, and…and when you were talking to her, you just looked so… happy, Jake.”
“I looked happy?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait, let me get this straight. I looked happy talking to a girl and from this you came to the conclusion that I should leave?”
He winced. “Well, it sounds pretty stupid when you put it like that.”
“You think?”
“BUT, there was more to it than that, Jake. It’s everything, all the things you’re missing out on by being here.”
“You mean, like sitting around, doing each other’s hair, giving each other manicures and oohing and aahing over the newest shade of eye shadow?”
His face scrunched up a little, but he shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, whatever it is you girls do when you get together.”
“My God, do you even know me at all, Hamilton? Have I ever seemed like the typical girl to you?” She raised her eyes skyward, shaking her head, and took a deep breath. “Look, Hamilton, I enjoy ‘girl things’ just like any other girl, but I’m also the girl who loves motorcycles and computers and playing football with the guys. I didn’t just invent all that when I became ‘Jake’. That’s who I am. I like being here and other than sore boobs from being strapped down and having to deal with assholes like Ryder, I’ve had a great time here.”
“But - “
“AND…if I do need some girl time, I think Bella and I could be friends and since she knows about me, it’s perfect.”
“But - “
“AND…the reason I looked so happy talking to Bella is that we were talking about you, you big idiot.” She poked one stiff finger into his chest for emphasis.
He bowed his head to look at her finger then peeked at her with a sheepish smile. “You were?”
“Yes, we were.” She poked him again.
He grabbed her hand and brought her poking finger to his mouth, kissing the very tip. “So, you think you’ll be happy here for a while?”
Her hand twitched when he pressed a kiss into her palm. “Yes. IF, that is, you can go a week or two without being a total bonehead.”
“I’ll try.” His lips brushed across the inside of her wrist before he raised his head to give her a crooked smile. “But, I can’t promise anything.”
She laughed low in her throat. “That’s all I ask. And, Hamilton?”
“Yeah?”
She met his eyes, completely serious now. “Just keep in mind…I love you, too. Being here…being with you has made me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I don’t want to be anywhere but here.”
“You’re sure?”
She groaned. “Yes! Hamilton, I’m sure. I’m positive. I have no doubt in my mind, okay?”
He leaned forward to give her a swift kiss. “Okay.” He kissed her again, lingering this time. “Jake?”
“Yeah?” She opened her mouth and captured his lower lip, giving it a brief, gentle pull.
“Did I hear you say something about a great make-out session?”
She laughed. “Oh, you caught that, did you?”
“Oh, yeah. And, by the way, if your…um…chest is sore from the binding, I’d be glad to rub it for you. Purely as a friendly gesture, you understand.”
”Well, that’s really very sweet of you, Friendly Boy, but it seems to me you said you needed sleep.” She patted his shoulder and backed away with a challenging grin.
He followed her, anticipation putting a slight bounce in his stride. “Oh, I’m not feeling at all sleepy.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to interfere with a growing boy’s rest.” She stuck her nose in the air, turning to walk up the steps. “It’s a shame, too, because I’ve been wearing this thing all day and it’s killing me.”
“There, you see, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you suffer like that?”
He grabbed her hand to pull her along, and they hurried to the dorm, laughing as he pleaded his case the whole way. Once in her room, he proceeded to prove to her in a very thorough and pleasant manner that he was not the least bit sleepy.
The End
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake watched as Bella accepted a birthday present from Scout, noting the radiant smile on Bella’s face.
“There’s something going on with those two,” she remarked to Hamilton.
“With those two? What about you and Bella - what was up with that hug?”
Jake flexed her shoulders in a macho shrug. “Well, you know, I seem to be the type of guy chicks find irresistible…first Lena, now Bella.”
Hamilton’s brows lowered until he saw her grin. “Funny.”
She laughed. “No, I stopped in for gas the other day and we talked for a while. She’s pretty cool.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” Jake looked around before leaning in to say in a low voice, “She knows about me.”
His eyes widened. “You told her?”
“No, I didn’t tell her. She guessed.”
“She just guessed? How?”
“I don’t know, maybe it’s a girl thing, but she figured it out.”
“Lena didn’t.”
“Yeah, well, Lena’s probably still in love with her ex-boyfriend. She did say I looked like him.”
“Yeah, maybe. So…what did you and Bella talk about?” Jake, still watching Bella and Scout, didn’t notice the intense way Hamilton watched her as he waited for her answer.
“Just, you know, girl talk.” A small smile came to Jake’s lips as she remembered Bella asking her about Hamilton. “It’s funny…I’d forgotten how much different it is being with another girl - as a girl, I mean.”
“Yeah?” Hamilton blinked and his eyebrows twitched, but he didn’t say anything else.
“It was fun.” She gave Bella and Scout one more considering gaze then looked at Hamilton. “Hey, you want to get out of here? We could go for a ride or something.”
He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”
“Okay, just let me say good-bye to Bella.”
They approached a laughing Bella and wished her a happy birthday. Hamilton, seeing the looks Bella and Jake were exchanging, said, “Well, have a good one, Bella. Jake, I’ll be outside.”
“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute.”
As he walked out of the diner, Bella pulled Jake into a corner to talk in private.
“So, everything’s okay with you two?”
A brilliant smile lit Jake’s face. “VERY okay.”
The two of them shared a quiet, decidedly girlish giggle, which Jake, looking around furtively, stifled by clearing her throat and reassuming her “guy” stance. “So, Sean…there’s another cutie. What’s the deal with him?”
Bella looked fondly at Sean, who smiled back at her while talking to Will. “Sean is…Sean. I’ve known him my whole life.”
“Well, you’ve known Will all your life too, but I haven’t seen you looking at him the way you look at Sean…or at Scout, for that matter. That’s a tough choice you have there.”
Sadness flickered across Bella’s face and her eyes seemed to be drawn to Scout. “No, there’s no choice at all.”
Jake, contrite, put one hand on Bella’s arm. “Hey, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean - “
Bella shook her head. “No, I know.” She looked toward the entrance to the diner and smiled to see Hamilton watching them. “You’d better go. Hamilton looks like he’s impatient to get you alone.”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, he usually is.” She reached over to give Bella a warm hug. “Happy Birthday, Bella.”
Bella squeezed her back. “Thanks, Jake. Have fun with Hamilton.”
Jake waggled her eyebrows. “Oh, I will.” The two girls shared another surreptitious giggle before Jake walked out to join Hamilton.
One side of his mouth tilted up as Jake neared him. “All set?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
They walked in silence to her bike, Jake sneaking occasional peeks at Hamilton’s pensive face. She handed him one of the helmets. “You want to drive?”
He looked at her in surprise. “Really?”
“Sure. You’ve got to know the area better than I do. I’d probably get lost.”
“Cool. Where do you want to go?”
“Mm…nowhere in particular. Let’s just ride. It’s such a beautiful night.”
As he mounted the bike and started the engine, she settled into place behind him, resting her hands on his waist. As soon as they drove out of town, she leaned forward against him, sliding her hands across his stomach. She smiled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder and another to the side of his neck. Hamilton tossed a lopsided smile at her over his shoulder and rubbed his back against her.
Jake rested her head against his shoulder and heaved a happy sigh, savoring this rare moment of being together without pretending. Especially after the emotional upheaval of the last couple of days. It was funny. She had always been completely independent, making her own decisions, going her own way, but in such a short time, this guy had become the center of her world.
In some ways, it scared her, this uncontrollable need for, and complete vulnerability to, another person. At the same time, nothing had ever been as thrilling or as wonderful. All her life, she had longed to be loved and wanted, and for some miraculous reason, Hamilton did both. Not that they hadn’t had some bumps in the road; in their bizarre circumstance, it was inevitable. But still she knew without the slightest doubt that he loved her. If anything, he seemed to be so much in love with her that occasionally he seemed to lose access to some of his higher brain functions. It was actually very sweet, if a bit frustrating at times.
She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and hugged him to her as she thought about him wanting to move in with her. Most guys avoided any kind of commitment like the plague, but not her Hamilton. Oh, no, he threw himself heart and soul into this, with not a thought to the consequences, not a pause to consider the ramifications.
It was all so amazingly, fantastically overwhelming. And she couldn’t imagine wanting anything different.
Jake closed her eyes and let her mind drift as Hamilton took them around the lake, using back roads he had learned from years of living there. She reveled in the feel of Hamilton against her, the vibrations of the powerful machine they were riding and the wind whipping around them. It was with some surprise that she felt them come to a halt and opened her eyes to see that they were next to the place where she hid her bike.
As Hamilton turned off the bike and removed his helmet, she gave him a curious look, wondering why he had made the ride so short. He gave her a little smile and set to work covering the bike with the tarp bundled nearby, so she hopped off the bike, removed her own helmet and helped him. Once they were done, they began walking towards the school. Jake, somewhat discomfited by Hamilton’s silence, reached down and took his hand in hers, threading her fingers through his. He half-smiled and squeezed her hand but still said nothing.
“That was nice. We should do that more often.”
He nodded and squeezed her hand again. She stole another look at him, starting to get concerned. She wasn’t getting an angry vibe from him, just a thoughtful, distracted one. Something was bothering him.
They came to a point where they could head to the right to go to the dorms or head left towards Hamilton’s house. Jake automatically veered to the right, but Hamilton drew to a halt and, looking to the left, said, “I should probably get home.”
Jake gave his hand a gentle tug. “You want to come up to my room for a while? It’s Friday night - we’ll probably have most of the dorm to ourselves.” She smiled with a suggestive flick of her eyebrows.
“Um…not tonight, okay?”
All right, something was definitely wrong here. Jake took a step closer to get a better look at his face. “Hamilton, are you okay?”
He attempted a smile. “I’m fine…I just haven’t slept well the last couple of nights.”
She studied his face and decided not to press him on this now, so she just shrugged and smiled. “Okay. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, tomorrow. Night, Jake.”
He turned and, hands shoved in his pockets, walked away, while Jake’s mouth fell open.
“Hey, Hamilton?”
He turned. “Yeah?”
She held his eyes with hers as she slowly walked toward him. She stopped when she was within inches of him, reached up, clasped his face in her hands and kissed him. His lips opened on contact and his tongue came forward to meet hers. She gave him just a taste before letting go of his head and stepping back with a knowing smile. She licked her lips and whispered, “Good night, Hamilton” and sauntered away.
He watched her walk away then sighed. He didn’t really want to go home yet, so he headed toward the lake, hoping a walk would clear his head a little.
He would have loved to have gone to Jake’s room and spent the rest of the evening with her. Hell, she was all he thought about lately. And it wasn’t even about sex, though God knew he was pretty damn eager for that. But he had meant it when he said she was his best friend. He’d never known anyone like her before; she was smart, funny and so strong. It might be a total pain in the ass, but he admired the way she had pulled off the boy act. And though it was confusing as hell, it was also cool to him that his buddy was also this total babe…and that he was the only one who knew it, reputation problems aside.
All in all, he wanted to spend every waking moment with her, to talk to her, to see that beautiful smile come across her face, to hear that sexy laugh. He felt an amazing combination of totally comfortable mixed with completely excited any time he was near her.
Definitely confusing. But nice, very, very nice.
He came to the steps leading down to the lake and sat on the top one and just stared at the lake, his mind racing. He’d been there maybe thirty minutes when he felt a presence behind him and Jake settled onto the step beside him.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Hamilton.” She mimicked his posture, elbows on knees and hands clasped together, staring across the water. “So…I called your house and your mom told me you hadn’t come home yet. Add that to the fact that you passed on what would probably have been THE make-out session of your life…and I figure something is up. So, what gives, Hamilton?”
He took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking, Jake.”
“Oh, no,” she muttered under her breath.”
“I think…maybe you should leave Rawley.”
Her head whipped toward him and she straightened up as she bit out, “What??”
“I was being selfish before, not wanting you to leave, and I just think we should …you know, consider other options.”
She put one hand on his shoulder and pulled him to face her. “What are you talking about, Hamilton?”
“Well, you could go to another school, maybe one not too far away. We could see each other on weekends and holidays and we can talk all the time on the phone - ”
“Whoa-whoa-whoa-WHOA! Hamilton, I thought you didn’t want me to leave?”
“I don’t!” He surged to his feet and walked down to stand on the dock, whirling around as she came to stand behind him. “But, this isn’t fair to you and you were right…you can’t keep living like this.”
“Well, it’s not fair to either one of us, and obviously I wouldn’t do it forever, but I’m fine with it for now.” He looked down and chewed on his lower lip. “Hamilton, what brought this on?”
“I don’t know, lots of things.” She lifted her brows and waited for him to fill her in. “Jake, you said it yourself…you miss being a girl, being with other girls, doing…girl things.”
“Yeah…And?”
“And, you should be able to do all that. You shouldn’t have to keep pretending - you did what you came here to do, you got your mother’s attention, so you don’t have to keep this up.”
“But - “
He cupped her face in his hands. “Jake, look, I love you, you know that, and I would miss you like hell, but I want you to be happy.”
“I’m happy here with you.”
“But, in the long run, it would be better for you if you could have a normal life.”
“Hamilton, you’re doing it again.”
His hands dropped. “Doing what?”
“Making my decisions for me, deciding on your own what I should do and just letting your crazy little ideas take over everything.”
“Jake - “
“No, no, I understand perfectly. My big man has decided that it would be best for me to go to a “girl” school. Well, let me just pack my bags right now!”
She swiveled around and stomped back in the direction of the dorms. Hamilton, after a few seconds of staring at her angry back with his mouth open, ran after her.
“Jake. Jake, would you slow down?”
She ground to a halt. “Oh, my lord and master has spoken. Is this better?”
“Would you stop that? I wasn’t telling you you had to go, I just thought we should think about it!”
“Oh, you’re not telling me I have to go so it’s okay if I think about it too. Thank you so much.”
He gave a groaning sigh and threw his hands up. “What the hell, Jake, I just want you to be happy!”
“I AM happy, damn it! Why would you think I’m not happy?”
He avoided her eyes.
“Hamilton?”
“Because I saw you!” he finally burst out.
“Saw me what?”
“With Bella…”
“So, what, you think I’m a lesbian now?”
“No, of course not.” He released a totally frustrated breath of air. “I just meant, you said you missed being with girls as a girl, and…and when you were talking to her, you just looked so… happy, Jake.”
“I looked happy?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait, let me get this straight. I looked happy talking to a girl and from this you came to the conclusion that I should leave?”
He winced. “Well, it sounds pretty stupid when you put it like that.”
“You think?”
“BUT, there was more to it than that, Jake. It’s everything, all the things you’re missing out on by being here.”
“You mean, like sitting around, doing each other’s hair, giving each other manicures and oohing and aahing over the newest shade of eye shadow?”
His face scrunched up a little, but he shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, whatever it is you girls do when you get together.”
“My God, do you even know me at all, Hamilton? Have I ever seemed like the typical girl to you?” She raised her eyes skyward, shaking her head, and took a deep breath. “Look, Hamilton, I enjoy ‘girl things’ just like any other girl, but I’m also the girl who loves motorcycles and computers and playing football with the guys. I didn’t just invent all that when I became ‘Jake’. That’s who I am. I like being here and other than sore boobs from being strapped down and having to deal with assholes like Ryder, I’ve had a great time here.”
“But - “
“AND…if I do need some girl time, I think Bella and I could be friends and since she knows about me, it’s perfect.”
“But - “
“AND…the reason I looked so happy talking to Bella is that we were talking about you, you big idiot.” She poked one stiff finger into his chest for emphasis.
He bowed his head to look at her finger then peeked at her with a sheepish smile. “You were?”
“Yes, we were.” She poked him again.
He grabbed her hand and brought her poking finger to his mouth, kissing the very tip. “So, you think you’ll be happy here for a while?”
Her hand twitched when he pressed a kiss into her palm. “Yes. IF, that is, you can go a week or two without being a total bonehead.”
“I’ll try.” His lips brushed across the inside of her wrist before he raised his head to give her a crooked smile. “But, I can’t promise anything.”
She laughed low in her throat. “That’s all I ask. And, Hamilton?”
“Yeah?”
She met his eyes, completely serious now. “Just keep in mind…I love you, too. Being here…being with you has made me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I don’t want to be anywhere but here.”
“You’re sure?”
She groaned. “Yes! Hamilton, I’m sure. I’m positive. I have no doubt in my mind, okay?”
He leaned forward to give her a swift kiss. “Okay.” He kissed her again, lingering this time. “Jake?”
“Yeah?” She opened her mouth and captured his lower lip, giving it a brief, gentle pull.
“Did I hear you say something about a great make-out session?”
She laughed. “Oh, you caught that, did you?”
“Oh, yeah. And, by the way, if your…um…chest is sore from the binding, I’d be glad to rub it for you. Purely as a friendly gesture, you understand.”
”Well, that’s really very sweet of you, Friendly Boy, but it seems to me you said you needed sleep.” She patted his shoulder and backed away with a challenging grin.
He followed her, anticipation putting a slight bounce in his stride. “Oh, I’m not feeling at all sleepy.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to interfere with a growing boy’s rest.” She stuck her nose in the air, turning to walk up the steps. “It’s a shame, too, because I’ve been wearing this thing all day and it’s killing me.”
“There, you see, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you suffer like that?”
He grabbed her hand to pull her along, and they hurried to the dorm, laughing as he pleaded his case the whole way. Once in her room, he proceeded to prove to her in a very thorough and pleasant manner that he was not the least bit sleepy.
The End