(no subject)
Last night was terrible. Today might be worse.
I went to sleep unable to think of anything besides how the people I love just keep taking advantage me. I've been feeling very... well, I just feel like I'm putting a lot more into my relationships than I'm getting, not that this is a new emotion for me. I wanted to go hide in the shower with a blade. But I didn't. I never let myself get up from the couch last night.
I woke up this morning after one of the longest and most vivid dreams of my life. I cheated on Nate. I know this dream is playing off a sense of guilt I have, but the cheating thing really did scare me, because I am so not a person who would cheat. The dream was just too real, my dream self was convinced the cheating must have been a dream, but it wasn't it turned out.
I guess something good that is coming out of my recent introspection is that I started writing again. I'm not going to post it though, it's a bit too personal. Maybe later I will.
Yeah... I feel like crap, but at least I have nice clean folded clothes now. I was productive-ish today.
I went to sleep unable to think of anything besides how the people I love just keep taking advantage me. I've been feeling very... well, I just feel like I'm putting a lot more into my relationships than I'm getting, not that this is a new emotion for me. I wanted to go hide in the shower with a blade. But I didn't. I never let myself get up from the couch last night.
I woke up this morning after one of the longest and most vivid dreams of my life. I cheated on Nate. I know this dream is playing off a sense of guilt I have, but the cheating thing really did scare me, because I am so not a person who would cheat. The dream was just too real, my dream self was convinced the cheating must have been a dream, but it wasn't it turned out.
I guess something good that is coming out of my recent introspection is that I started writing again. I'm not going to post it though, it's a bit too personal. Maybe later I will.
Yeah... I feel like crap, but at least I have nice clean folded clothes now. I was productive-ish today.