I was an angry little girl...
I was going through my other online journal which I've had for years. I haven't updated that journal in 2 years but I thought it would be interesting to read what I've written. As I was going through the pages I came across something that I found quite funny.. it was a poem I had written nearly 4 years ago! And I was an angry little girl!!! So I decided to post it.... Keep in mind.. It was written when I was about 15 or 16 years old..
I'm tired of all the pain
The loss of time I've wasted
I'm sick of pretending I'm okay
The revenge I've yet tasted
I'm tired of being pushed away
I'm not here for you to hurt
My turn to push you down
And make you feel like dirt
I'll rip your heart out
For everyone to see
I'll make you scream and shout
And watch your eyes bleed
I'll fill your head with hope
Raise you're spirits high
Then cut the stranded rope
And kill you with words until you cry
And as your tears run down your face
I'll be there to wash them away
Then disappear with out a trace
And leave you there astray
And when I return
I'll be with someone new
Just to see you burn
And you'll still say "I Love You"
B/c I'll have you wrapped around my fingers
I'll break your heart through the floor
And watch you crawl in pain
As I throw you out the door
Dignity you will try and regain
I'll show you what it is to feel
Dare you play these games once more
Dare you choose this heart to steal..
Thats not a happy poem at all!! Funny how some things never change... like a vicous cycle of torment... oh well... thats how I felt then.. I was bitter and angry... reading that helped me realize that its not fair that I'm always the angry one.. I'm always the "victim"... fuck that. I don't want to be the victim.. its not fun. So I've decided.. NOT TO BE THE VICTIM! Its that simple. I'm just not going to care.. just like that.. it seems that simple... oh well.. I DON'T CARE... hehe.. yeah that sounds better than.. "the revenge I've yet tasted".. I'm not dark and tormented anymore bitches.... There are PLENTY of fish in the sea.. I just gotta get better bait!
I'm tired of all the pain
The loss of time I've wasted
I'm sick of pretending I'm okay
The revenge I've yet tasted
I'm tired of being pushed away
I'm not here for you to hurt
My turn to push you down
And make you feel like dirt
I'll rip your heart out
For everyone to see
I'll make you scream and shout
And watch your eyes bleed
I'll fill your head with hope
Raise you're spirits high
Then cut the stranded rope
And kill you with words until you cry
And as your tears run down your face
I'll be there to wash them away
Then disappear with out a trace
And leave you there astray
And when I return
I'll be with someone new
Just to see you burn
And you'll still say "I Love You"
B/c I'll have you wrapped around my fingers
I'll break your heart through the floor
And watch you crawl in pain
As I throw you out the door
Dignity you will try and regain
I'll show you what it is to feel
Dare you play these games once more
Dare you choose this heart to steal..
Thats not a happy poem at all!! Funny how some things never change... like a vicous cycle of torment... oh well... thats how I felt then.. I was bitter and angry... reading that helped me realize that its not fair that I'm always the angry one.. I'm always the "victim"... fuck that. I don't want to be the victim.. its not fun. So I've decided.. NOT TO BE THE VICTIM! Its that simple. I'm just not going to care.. just like that.. it seems that simple... oh well.. I DON'T CARE... hehe.. yeah that sounds better than.. "the revenge I've yet tasted".. I'm not dark and tormented anymore bitches.... There are PLENTY of fish in the sea.. I just gotta get better bait!