Fake Bi Girl

[rowyn]

I am a couple of weeks late for Bisexual Visibility Week, but I'm gonna write about bisexuality anyway. I don't think the point of the week was to have us all re-cloak when it was over.

I don't think it's a secret that I am bisexual*. I mention it now and again.  I am, in some ways, perfectly comfortable with my sexuality.
But I noticed, during

Comments

[the_gneech]

You might consider asking your mind what it thinks you would have to gain by "faking it." It's less true now than it was a few years ago, but I know plenty of people who, back in the era of the AIDS epidemic and arguing about whether or not orientation was a choice, said "Why would I choose an orientation that will make me a social pariah and quite possibly endanger my life if I act on it?"

Even now, while it's 5000% better than it was then, being "cishet" would still be a much more convenient way of life. So again, why would you fake it? It' seems to me the fact that it keeps coming up, in itself, means there must be something to it.

-The Gneech

[rowyn]

Oh, Gneech, you have no idea. v_v

There is a distinct backlash against "fake bi girls" as doing it "for attention". Like, y'know, we kiss girls because boys like that, or are only into it for a threesome, or say we're bi because it's "edgy", or to get LGBT cookies, or .... I don't even remember what else. it's a long list. It has all the charm and joy of the "fake geek girls" backlash. v_v

Bisexual men get a different kind of hate, mostly in the form of 'you're really gay', as opposed to the female 'you're really straight'. Blah.

[the_gneech]

Yeah, I did forget the whole "doing it to please boys" thing. Blugh. :P For boys any kind of queerness no matter the flavor all falls into the same homophobic hate bucket.

Ironically, nobody would ever accuse a boy of kissing other boys to please girls, because patriarchy. :P Our culture is messed up.

-The Gneech

[rowyn]

Even though girls are, in fact, ALL OVER boys kissing boys. :D

[the_gneech]

I know! That's part of what makes it all so ridiculous! Where did this "girls are supposed to please boys but not the other way around" thing come from, and more importantly, why does it stick?

But great-googily-moogily, I could rant on the "Girls! You outnumber us! Why do you put up with this shit???" theme for hours. ;)

-TG

[rowyn]

Internalized misogyny. It's a hard thing to shake, man. :/

[the_gneech]

You deserve better, and I think you've earned the right to whatever space you want to inhabit. All my comments are kind of a hamfisted way of getting around to that. ^.^'

-TG

[rowyn]

♥

I know #ownvoices is a big thing these days and for good reasons! But I always like it when people not-n-my-category speak up in support. Society is supposed to work like that: people support each other. :)

[the_gneech]

We share the bi space, for whatever it's worth. It's just the terrain looks different from this end of it. ;)

-TG

[the_gneech]

(Also please note, tongue firmly in cheek re: putting up with shit. I just wish it was that easy a thing to fix!)

-TG

[rowyn]

Don't we all. -_-