Jun 09, 2004 09:49
One should never endeavour to take on the responsibility of owning an AMC Eagle unless they have an extensive knowledge of mechanics (a batchelors degree in engineering should be fine :-), blacksmithing experience and the ability to think abstractly (bizarre is also a plus!) and a really good health care plan!
I procastinated in getting my paycheck thinking they would send it to me but finally called the company just to find out that they never sent it in the mail. I drove down and got the check then damn near fell over, it was for a gross amount of $1006.00!!!
Okay, in real life that translated into $765.00 after taxes, still a tidy sum. I didn't think I put in that much time doing charters.
First stop, the bank then Giant Eagle (ever notice how the term "Eagle" keeps turning up in my life?) to replenish my impoverished food stocks. Forgot to get another can of flat black spray paint but did get gas for the tractor. Got the last of the hemlock trees cut down but my little chainsaw's chain became dull.
Anway, before I went to get my check I noticed that I couldn't use my outside door handle on the driver's side to enter the car. I left the window open (which is customary in the hot summer days of Pennsylvania lest you bake your ass off when you re-enter your car) and went shopping for food. When I got home I found the handle had broken once again but with an added surprize, the door latch broke as well.
Spent the rest of the day trying to weld the door handle so that it could be reused.
{Rule 1} You cannot weld or solder pot metal especially if it was manufactured by AMC!
Since that was the very last of the LH door handles I owned I had to somehow use the RH door handle I had (AMC made both sides identicle except for one little difference, the leaver arm on the handle is on on the bottom on both sides which leads us to rule 2.
{Rule 2} When deciding to use the RH door handle on the LH door of an AMC Eagle, you must take note that the handle's leaver will be on top of the handle instead of the bottom (you simply flip the handles) when you bolt it into the door therefore, you *MUST* manufacture something to make the handle work.
Thankfully, I have a parts car (necessary option when owning any AMC product). I removed the draw rod from the inner door handle of one of the doors then spent the next hour making a replica draw arm (except for being 1/2 inch longer) of the original in my car's driver's door. Next step, changeing out the door latch.
Tools needed:
One set of Torques (R) head sockets, one long heavy slotted screw driver, a 3/8 drive socket wrench, one 6" 3/8 extension, one 2" 3/8 extension, one 3/8-1/4 adapter, needle nose pliers and various sizes of bandaides (duct tape and tissue will do), sewing needles and suture as well as iodine.
After removing the three torques (R) screws from the door jam (this is assumeing that you've already removed the door trim, handles and other things in the way which requires nothing more than a philips head screw driver), you reach inside and with the assistance of the long slotted screw driver you carefully shred your hands into ribbons removing the saddle clips from all draw rods on the latch mechanizm. Farther shredding of your epidermis takes place when you try to remove the latch from behind that damn window track that you can't remove because to do so would mean removing the window and of course even more shredding of your remaining skin!
Replace with new latch by reversing every step mentioned but replace the old draw arm for the outside door handle with the new one you made (provided you made said draw arm properly). Now, carefully remove the bandages from the container and without bleeding all over the adhesive, tape your hands and arms back together. You'll know you've accomplished the task when you shut the door (without bleeding all over it) and are capable of opening it with just a slight tug on the door handle (once again, provided you didn't lock the damn door like a F*cking idiot!). If a hard tug is necessary then you probably made the draw arm wrong, replaced said draw arm upside down or left part of your hands inside the door along with half you skin! Pick up whichever hand you used to tug on the handle from the ground and sew back onto arm before attempting farther adjustments of new draw arm and/or removal of what body parts were left inside the door. Remember to disinfect with iodine before and after sewing and make certain you've gotten all debis, grease and other contaminants out of the skin. Once you've made the adjustments and the door opens properly then you can replace all the door trim, handles etc. and use what's left of your hands to drive to the hospital for even more disinfecting and plastic surgery, prosthesis or whatever you were not able to do because you cut off one hand or both. :-p