(no subject)
So yeah, I heard some pretty typical comments from a girl today, and it really got me thinking. My friend told me that she was going to be single and that she was not ready for a relationship, and that she wanted to focus on strengthening her relationship with God first, and that she'll wait for God to send her the right guy. This girl was a total cutie, and could easily get a boyfriend, but there's some things I have to respond to that she said.
First off, love is a gift, not a guarantee. nothing in life is a guarantee, but the beauty of it is that we can set ourselves up to give us better chances at just about anything. Like studying for a test is not going to guarantee an A, but it will help you increase your odds of getting one and at least doing well. Love is about opportunity and giving yourself the best chances for the best opportunity. It's not a guarantee, nor is it something you have to wait for. I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there that have waited forever to meet "Mr. Right". but its not about waiting. If you're waiting, then you're expecting, and when you're expecting something you're not appreciating it for what it really is (Appreciation theory 101, read earlier). But also to that, is all you're doing or have to do is wait? what about how you dress, how successful you are, healthy you are, and all those other attractive qualities? You want to be striving for those anyways, and they will make you so much more self ful-filled, and also make you more attractive/appealing. When you finally meet that someone that is special, do you want to be lame and a nothing, or do you want to be the best, most appealing/attractive person you can be? The same goes with God, I think. When you finally finish your life, do you want to be someone that barely did anything to get into heaven, or do you want to be the one that did things right and lived a good and Christian life? that's the beauty of it, the chance of the opportunity forces you to "step it up" in each case, and be a better person. I believe that we go for healthy individuals, which generally means that they take are one's that take care of themselves and are "self-fulfilled" and balanced. Being healthy usually includes working out and eating well (and sleep, the physiological basics), doing what we love, being confident but balanced in who we are, and being people that ask better for ourselves. That's what the opposite sex wants, and god wants too.
Case in point...This girl I met at a party liked me and started talking to me, and told me that she was 22 and never had a boyfriend and never even kissed a guy. She was short, chubby, and had little confidence in herself. she didn't really work out that much, and she came off as kind of lame. she also was a "nothing" in terms of faiths and beliefs. Unfortunately for her, those do connect. had she at least worked out, she at least would have had a healthy looking body, which of course would have made her look better. A little faith, and she would LIKELY have found more "fulfilment" and maybe would have seemed more joyful and upbeat. And having confidence would have helped, because no one wants insecurities around. Clearly she needed some help if she ever wanted to attract somebody (even Mr. Right would have passed her by). I told her (while partially drunk on the couch) to take a chance and to have some confidence in herself, and to "take what she wanted" (she did, she kissed me, so I was her first kiss :) ). I only saw her once since, but I really wish I would have stressed how important it is to be a healthy individual.
Secondly, by saying she wants to build a stronger relationship with god first and that God will send the right guy her way. It kinda sounds like she's saying that if she builds the better relationship, God will send her the right guy. God doesn't work like that though. By building a stronger relationship with God only gives a stronger relationship with God, which in itself, is fulfilling :). Granted, that does make you more "healthy" and you're likely to meet some great guys along the way, but no guarantees of "love" or "Mr. Right".
I also believe that you have to "go with the flow" with love, in that you just let it play itself out. Never do you deny or rush it or avoid it or envy it or crave it, rather you just enjoy it for what it is or for what love there is in your life. My parents, for one, did it right, and they married 10 months after meeting eachother. When I asked them how'd that happen, they told me "it was just how it worked out". They have been married for 29 years now, and they are a fairly well-balanced and ideal couple. Its funny though because you have to be patient with love, yet you can't really be "waiting" for it. You also want to be the best person possible when it comes to meeting someone you love, but you shouldn't avoid love until you are the best person possible, rather, enjoy it and "go with the flow".
Welp, there's my 2 cents for the night. Peace
First off, love is a gift, not a guarantee. nothing in life is a guarantee, but the beauty of it is that we can set ourselves up to give us better chances at just about anything. Like studying for a test is not going to guarantee an A, but it will help you increase your odds of getting one and at least doing well. Love is about opportunity and giving yourself the best chances for the best opportunity. It's not a guarantee, nor is it something you have to wait for. I'm sure there are plenty of girls out there that have waited forever to meet "Mr. Right". but its not about waiting. If you're waiting, then you're expecting, and when you're expecting something you're not appreciating it for what it really is (Appreciation theory 101, read earlier). But also to that, is all you're doing or have to do is wait? what about how you dress, how successful you are, healthy you are, and all those other attractive qualities? You want to be striving for those anyways, and they will make you so much more self ful-filled, and also make you more attractive/appealing. When you finally meet that someone that is special, do you want to be lame and a nothing, or do you want to be the best, most appealing/attractive person you can be? The same goes with God, I think. When you finally finish your life, do you want to be someone that barely did anything to get into heaven, or do you want to be the one that did things right and lived a good and Christian life? that's the beauty of it, the chance of the opportunity forces you to "step it up" in each case, and be a better person. I believe that we go for healthy individuals, which generally means that they take are one's that take care of themselves and are "self-fulfilled" and balanced. Being healthy usually includes working out and eating well (and sleep, the physiological basics), doing what we love, being confident but balanced in who we are, and being people that ask better for ourselves. That's what the opposite sex wants, and god wants too.
Case in point...This girl I met at a party liked me and started talking to me, and told me that she was 22 and never had a boyfriend and never even kissed a guy. She was short, chubby, and had little confidence in herself. she didn't really work out that much, and she came off as kind of lame. she also was a "nothing" in terms of faiths and beliefs. Unfortunately for her, those do connect. had she at least worked out, she at least would have had a healthy looking body, which of course would have made her look better. A little faith, and she would LIKELY have found more "fulfilment" and maybe would have seemed more joyful and upbeat. And having confidence would have helped, because no one wants insecurities around. Clearly she needed some help if she ever wanted to attract somebody (even Mr. Right would have passed her by). I told her (while partially drunk on the couch) to take a chance and to have some confidence in herself, and to "take what she wanted" (she did, she kissed me, so I was her first kiss :) ). I only saw her once since, but I really wish I would have stressed how important it is to be a healthy individual.
Secondly, by saying she wants to build a stronger relationship with god first and that God will send the right guy her way. It kinda sounds like she's saying that if she builds the better relationship, God will send her the right guy. God doesn't work like that though. By building a stronger relationship with God only gives a stronger relationship with God, which in itself, is fulfilling :). Granted, that does make you more "healthy" and you're likely to meet some great guys along the way, but no guarantees of "love" or "Mr. Right".
I also believe that you have to "go with the flow" with love, in that you just let it play itself out. Never do you deny or rush it or avoid it or envy it or crave it, rather you just enjoy it for what it is or for what love there is in your life. My parents, for one, did it right, and they married 10 months after meeting eachother. When I asked them how'd that happen, they told me "it was just how it worked out". They have been married for 29 years now, and they are a fairly well-balanced and ideal couple. Its funny though because you have to be patient with love, yet you can't really be "waiting" for it. You also want to be the best person possible when it comes to meeting someone you love, but you shouldn't avoid love until you are the best person possible, rather, enjoy it and "go with the flow".
Welp, there's my 2 cents for the night. Peace