(no subject)
How Young Yoon saved Commercialized Christmas
It was Christmas Eve and like most non-christian individuals Matt, Jeremy, and Russell were attempting to find something to do. They all shared a mutual dissatisfaction with the farce that is Christmas. Everyone is allowed their beliefs but since when did millions of people around the globe look forward to the birth of a jew? Their attempts to find something to do in Niskayuna were futile, not only was every store in the continental United States closed but the wasps were out in force and would probably attempt a linching of three educated jews. Then suddenly a devious scheme entered Matt's head, "Lets get Santa, and eat his reindeer." Unbeknownst to these three non-christians the real meaning of Christmas isn't about presents but apparently some spiritual...stuff...that catholics do. Unfortunately, Matt and his friends being constantly bombarded by Consumerism (TV, magazine, and radio) messages were under the belief that Santa was the focal point of the holiday! All excited the three grabbed shotguns and ammo then raced outdoors. It was a clear night in Nisky and the ringing of bells from above made the three shotgun weilding avengers glance skyward. Suddenly, Young Yoon, an asian guitarist of great reknown raced up and started jamming. His song about peace and unity made the three understand that no matter how demented and twisted the holiday season was and how demented it had become Santa was simply an innocent man attempting to spread cheer and joy. "You'd have made Confucius proud," said Jeremy as they lowered their guns and let Santa's sleigh fly over unharrassed. "Merry Christmas and happy jew-year," yelled Santa from above. "Keep it real," shouted back the four friends from the middle of Hawthorn Rd. There was a moment of profound silence as if the entire world had been holding its breath, waiting tensely for the moment to end. The stars shined brighter, the moon rose a little higher, and everything returned to normal. "I've got some beer," said Jeremy.
"Allllllll right," said Russell and Young.
Matt frowned, "I'm still allergic." They walked off down the road, happily drinking Coors Light.
Like most jews, Russell, Jeremy, and I were just kinda chillaxin' with Young Yoon in my house on Christmas Eve. They drank some beer, I had some wine, I don't think anyone entertained the idea of killing Santa and cooking his reindeer for more then two minutes. I don't even own a gun. We did have some crazy conversations about everything until late in the morning, it wasn't too bad actually although I did not get a gift/present. Then I went to Mt. Snow and it was good. The End
It was Christmas Eve and like most non-christian individuals Matt, Jeremy, and Russell were attempting to find something to do. They all shared a mutual dissatisfaction with the farce that is Christmas. Everyone is allowed their beliefs but since when did millions of people around the globe look forward to the birth of a jew? Their attempts to find something to do in Niskayuna were futile, not only was every store in the continental United States closed but the wasps were out in force and would probably attempt a linching of three educated jews. Then suddenly a devious scheme entered Matt's head, "Lets get Santa, and eat his reindeer." Unbeknownst to these three non-christians the real meaning of Christmas isn't about presents but apparently some spiritual...stuff...that catholics do. Unfortunately, Matt and his friends being constantly bombarded by Consumerism (TV, magazine, and radio) messages were under the belief that Santa was the focal point of the holiday! All excited the three grabbed shotguns and ammo then raced outdoors. It was a clear night in Nisky and the ringing of bells from above made the three shotgun weilding avengers glance skyward. Suddenly, Young Yoon, an asian guitarist of great reknown raced up and started jamming. His song about peace and unity made the three understand that no matter how demented and twisted the holiday season was and how demented it had become Santa was simply an innocent man attempting to spread cheer and joy. "You'd have made Confucius proud," said Jeremy as they lowered their guns and let Santa's sleigh fly over unharrassed. "Merry Christmas and happy jew-year," yelled Santa from above. "Keep it real," shouted back the four friends from the middle of Hawthorn Rd. There was a moment of profound silence as if the entire world had been holding its breath, waiting tensely for the moment to end. The stars shined brighter, the moon rose a little higher, and everything returned to normal. "I've got some beer," said Jeremy.
"Allllllll right," said Russell and Young.
Matt frowned, "I'm still allergic." They walked off down the road, happily drinking Coors Light.
Like most jews, Russell, Jeremy, and I were just kinda chillaxin' with Young Yoon in my house on Christmas Eve. They drank some beer, I had some wine, I don't think anyone entertained the idea of killing Santa and cooking his reindeer for more then two minutes. I don't even own a gun. We did have some crazy conversations about everything until late in the morning, it wasn't too bad actually although I did not get a gift/present. Then I went to Mt. Snow and it was good. The End