The Aristocrats
So this guy walks into a talent agency and says to the talent agent “Have I got the GREATEST act for YOU”! And the talent agent says “Well okay, what do you do”? And the guy says “It’s great you’re gonna love it, it’s a family act. It goes a little something like this...
The red curtains open and there’s me standing in the middle of the stage, naked, with a rabbit up my ass hole. The rabbit’s half in, half out. Almost immediately, 3 huge dogs rush the stage and start eating the rabbit. Just tearing it to shreds out of my ass hole. Once they tear it up and spread blood and shit everywhere, my wife, who’s on her period, comes out with a shotgun and shoots the dogs in the heads while bleeding all over the stage. Blood, skulls, and cum everywhere. She picks up a dog skull and starts skull-fucking it with the strap-on dildo she has wrapped around her waist. I then take a spare skull and stick it up HER ass hole. I take the remaining dog skull and shove it down her throat. Before taking my arm out of her throat I decide it’d be a good idea to completely fist fuck the shit out my poor wife. As I’m fist fucking my wife, My son and daughter come out and start having sex on stage. No talk, just immediate sex, and total incest. While I do love the sight of my 6-year-old daughter fucking my 5-year-old son, I just can’t get enough of shoving my fist down my wife’s throat. Finally, when I feel I’m finished, I take my fist out from my wife’s throat, and sock her in the face. My wife gets up, socks ME in the fucking face, and I go down for at least 10 minutes. She sits on my stomach, vomits into my mouth, turns around, and for some reason, just starts going down on me, right then and there. After she’s done, she takes a thin metal rod and shoves it right up my urethra, up into my genital insides. While my genitals are pretty much getting ruined for the rest of my life, my two kids stop fucking each other and just start taking a shit all over the stage, while at the same time, singing “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani. They work their way around me and my wife’s extravaganza and make a big circle of shit and piss. The whole first three rows of the audience are completely covered with shit, piss, vomit, cum, and blood. Soon after that, the family dog comes out and fucks each and every one of us in the ass. I finally wake up, take a wooden, splintery hammer, and start beating the shit out of the family dog just as its finishing fucking my little girl. Just when I act as if I think everything is fine and dandy, my grandpa comes out and just starts cumming on everyone’s faces. How he has this much cum left in him, no one knows. He takes his wrinkly penis, wraps it around my son’s neck, and chokes him to death. We all raise our hands, take a bow, and piss and shit all over the stage one last time. And finally, for the finale, the dog stands up on its hind legs.
The talent agent says "Jesus Christ, that's one hell of an act. What do you call an act like that"? The father replies with...
"The Aristocrats!"
The red curtains open and there’s me standing in the middle of the stage, naked, with a rabbit up my ass hole. The rabbit’s half in, half out. Almost immediately, 3 huge dogs rush the stage and start eating the rabbit. Just tearing it to shreds out of my ass hole. Once they tear it up and spread blood and shit everywhere, my wife, who’s on her period, comes out with a shotgun and shoots the dogs in the heads while bleeding all over the stage. Blood, skulls, and cum everywhere. She picks up a dog skull and starts skull-fucking it with the strap-on dildo she has wrapped around her waist. I then take a spare skull and stick it up HER ass hole. I take the remaining dog skull and shove it down her throat. Before taking my arm out of her throat I decide it’d be a good idea to completely fist fuck the shit out my poor wife. As I’m fist fucking my wife, My son and daughter come out and start having sex on stage. No talk, just immediate sex, and total incest. While I do love the sight of my 6-year-old daughter fucking my 5-year-old son, I just can’t get enough of shoving my fist down my wife’s throat. Finally, when I feel I’m finished, I take my fist out from my wife’s throat, and sock her in the face. My wife gets up, socks ME in the fucking face, and I go down for at least 10 minutes. She sits on my stomach, vomits into my mouth, turns around, and for some reason, just starts going down on me, right then and there. After she’s done, she takes a thin metal rod and shoves it right up my urethra, up into my genital insides. While my genitals are pretty much getting ruined for the rest of my life, my two kids stop fucking each other and just start taking a shit all over the stage, while at the same time, singing “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani. They work their way around me and my wife’s extravaganza and make a big circle of shit and piss. The whole first three rows of the audience are completely covered with shit, piss, vomit, cum, and blood. Soon after that, the family dog comes out and fucks each and every one of us in the ass. I finally wake up, take a wooden, splintery hammer, and start beating the shit out of the family dog just as its finishing fucking my little girl. Just when I act as if I think everything is fine and dandy, my grandpa comes out and just starts cumming on everyone’s faces. How he has this much cum left in him, no one knows. He takes his wrinkly penis, wraps it around my son’s neck, and chokes him to death. We all raise our hands, take a bow, and piss and shit all over the stage one last time. And finally, for the finale, the dog stands up on its hind legs.
The talent agent says "Jesus Christ, that's one hell of an act. What do you call an act like that"? The father replies with...
"The Aristocrats!"