posting
I must say that henchgiving (we have a mailing list that a lot of my friends are on and we all had dinner the day after Thanksgiving) was wonderful. The food was great, the conversation was of course incredible. I even got to try Wassail for the first time (thank you Iria!). I felt really a part of things which for me has been missing for awhile. I even got all teary eyed when Dirk told us how he and Laura were thankful for each of us and how they loved us all, I am such a sap for things like that. We drew names for giving xmas gifts and I got one of my favorite people ever, Liz, so I was very happy with my draw! That Friday though was about where the fun ends!
I am sure you all know my struggle to find a job, it's been very hard, I have sent out silly amounts of resumes, applied both online and in reality and nothing, no returns, no interest, I think things will change in January when I start my last semester at MCC. I will have my financial aid again and there is a job coming available in the financial aid department that I really hope to get, it would make my life so much easier being able to work at school. However, until January comes, I am going to have a very rough time of it. My utilities are likely to be turned off as of Friday, unless I can get either 138 dollars or get one of the charities to help me, and it looks like I could be sitting in the complete dark for around a month, providing, of course, I can even keep my apartment for that long. My land lady doesn't want to wait till January for current and back rent, I haven't received an official eviction notice yet, and I am trying to hold her off for as long as possible, as they give you about a month to move out and if I can hold off I should have money to move with when the time comes. on or around January 10th or so. I haven't had my medications in over two weeks, as I can't get to my appointments so that's making things much more dire than even they might be, I have no food, or rather, VERY little of it and not sure where to turn at this point or what even to do. If there were a way someone could lend me the money I could have it back to them no later than mid jan, I have about 5000 coming from financial aid and loans. I am at wits end, I don't really expect anyone to be willing or even able to help, I always get myself into these fixes and I guess being homeless might teach me a lesson. I could deal with living in my car, providing I had a place to park it, but I would lose the cats and most of my stuff, something I am not looking forward to. I have called charity after charity to no avail and am seriously about as depressed as I can be about everything. I needed to vent, you can all either read this or not, your choice, comment or don't, I certainly wont think any less of you either way.
I am hoping this next year will be better for me, I am actually determined that it will be, but it's just getting there that seems to be the issue. I have one more chance for help from a couple of charities, but the help may not come soon enough, what to do?
Sorry for depressing you all, it's a crappy time of the year for me, it always has been, but I have fallen so far from where I was last year that I can hardly face myself, it's very difficult to care about much of anything when I don't know where I will be living in a week or two and know that I will very much be in the dark, all alone, even if I do manage to eek out some money from a charity to help with rent. Right now I just need my friends, not for monetary support, but just to be there, to love me and let me know they care, because right now I am feeling supremely alone.
But enough depressive talk, I have class tonight, a test, a report I have to give, that should keep my mind off things for the next little bit.
I hope you all have a good holiday season, and I want you to know that I love you all, every single one of you
hugs, Rowan
I am sure you all know my struggle to find a job, it's been very hard, I have sent out silly amounts of resumes, applied both online and in reality and nothing, no returns, no interest, I think things will change in January when I start my last semester at MCC. I will have my financial aid again and there is a job coming available in the financial aid department that I really hope to get, it would make my life so much easier being able to work at school. However, until January comes, I am going to have a very rough time of it. My utilities are likely to be turned off as of Friday, unless I can get either 138 dollars or get one of the charities to help me, and it looks like I could be sitting in the complete dark for around a month, providing, of course, I can even keep my apartment for that long. My land lady doesn't want to wait till January for current and back rent, I haven't received an official eviction notice yet, and I am trying to hold her off for as long as possible, as they give you about a month to move out and if I can hold off I should have money to move with when the time comes. on or around January 10th or so. I haven't had my medications in over two weeks, as I can't get to my appointments so that's making things much more dire than even they might be, I have no food, or rather, VERY little of it and not sure where to turn at this point or what even to do. If there were a way someone could lend me the money I could have it back to them no later than mid jan, I have about 5000 coming from financial aid and loans. I am at wits end, I don't really expect anyone to be willing or even able to help, I always get myself into these fixes and I guess being homeless might teach me a lesson. I could deal with living in my car, providing I had a place to park it, but I would lose the cats and most of my stuff, something I am not looking forward to. I have called charity after charity to no avail and am seriously about as depressed as I can be about everything. I needed to vent, you can all either read this or not, your choice, comment or don't, I certainly wont think any less of you either way.
I am hoping this next year will be better for me, I am actually determined that it will be, but it's just getting there that seems to be the issue. I have one more chance for help from a couple of charities, but the help may not come soon enough, what to do?
Sorry for depressing you all, it's a crappy time of the year for me, it always has been, but I have fallen so far from where I was last year that I can hardly face myself, it's very difficult to care about much of anything when I don't know where I will be living in a week or two and know that I will very much be in the dark, all alone, even if I do manage to eek out some money from a charity to help with rent. Right now I just need my friends, not for monetary support, but just to be there, to love me and let me know they care, because right now I am feeling supremely alone.
But enough depressive talk, I have class tonight, a test, a report I have to give, that should keep my mind off things for the next little bit.
I hope you all have a good holiday season, and I want you to know that I love you all, every single one of you
hugs, Rowan