Reasons why ouch?
Well. it is proven that one of these days, I am going to seriously break myself. In fact, I think I am broken. I had a little mini-adventure the last couple days- and I almost didn't make it back alive (ok, maybe that's just a LITTLE exaggerated. But for a little while, I didn't think I would live.)
So. Saturday afternoon, get home, unload, start laundry, watch movie, go to sleep.
Sunday afternoon, wake up. You know those few minutes between awake and asleep where everything you thing sounds like the best idea of the past melinnium? Well. I thought to myself, well, I have the next two days off work, I have nothing to do and a full tank of gas. Why don't I take the dogs and go to the lake? I'll go up, camp, and come back tomorrow. Time to myself will be great since I spent the last week surrounded by high schoolers (some of whom were disturbingly attractive). So, since I thought this was brilliant, I got up, packed my gear, and was on the road in less than twenty minutes. First things first, though- I swing by the ATM so that I will have some cash for the "trip" and the ATM EATS MY CARD. Did I view this as a bad omen? no. I just shrug, and continue on my merry way, figuring I'll go to the bank later and recover it. I get up to the lake and decide to try a different campground than the one I usually go to (and know very well) just for the hell of it, in a grand spirit of adventure. So I find myself a deserted beach and park the truck. And discover that it is a beach in name only. Yes, there is sand. Yes, it is deserted. It is also about a mile and a half from the water. I think to myself, that's not so bad. Easy 20 minute walk. Look- a clear path right to the water. (and over a hill and along a cliff and over some rocks and cactus and lots of desert. Which I came to find out) Well, the water only looked close. Yes, as the crow flies, the water was pretty close to my campsite. If I could fly, it wouldn't be a problem. But no. what I didn't know was that just over a tiny hill on my "beach" was a freakin CLIFF. Wouldnt be too much of a problem if I had been wearing real shoes and jeans, instead of a swimsuit and sandals. So the dogs and I try to find a way around. Roughly an hour and a half later, we actually get to where we can see the water. Yay. By this point, I am thinking I'm about to die from heat stroke and even the dogs are just sitting and panting. Water is the only hope--water-----water-----w---a-----t-----er------- So the actual water is about 30 yards away, and I realize that I am on top of a little bluff that extends over the shoreline. I go to the end of the bluff, and it is only about six or seven feet tall, and I can see wet sand and NO ROCKS below. So I jump, thinking no big deal, whatever.....then I land. And promptly sink up to mid thigh in ooze. First words through my mind are "Eeeew, gross!" Followed quickly by the realization that I am SINKING. Then I cussed. loudly and vehemently. Pilsner (one of the dogs) tries to jump in after me, and I yell at her until she goes away. Of course, I had jumped AWAY from the rocky bluff and the only stable land I knew of. so I'm struggling to get back, and pretty much just flopping around in the mud, although I am mangaging to keep myself from sinking further. Until I trip on something slimy and nasty (probably just a tree branch, althoug my rather overactive imagination supplied me with images of alligators and giant squid and the Monster from the Black Lagoon) and I managed to fall flat on my face. In the one sinkhole at Elephant Butte. This was when I was pretty sure that I was going to die, and archaeologists 3000 years from now would dig up my skeletal remains and think I was a sacrifice to the Great God Mudpit, and forever after I would be known as Rio Grande Woman, along with Clovis Man and Fulsom Man. (some time before this, I had let Pilsner and Evie off thier leashes and I was just carrying the leashes. Good thing, too.) I finally manage to struggle upright and finally managed to make it back to the edge of the bluff. No good. Still sinking. In a burst of genius, or something, I hook the leashes together and throw the middle part over a protruding edge of the bluff, and somehow manage to yank myself out of the mud. then I just sit on the ground and breathe for a while. The dogs and I finally make it to the water, where the three of us pretty much just colapse in the water. I washed off most of the mud, but it was black and sticky and gross and took forever to get off, and no matter how long I scrubbed and splashed, I was positive there was still some on me. Time to go back to the truck. Hours had passed by this point. (I still had my watch on. How it survived, I'll never know.) Long story short, the dogs and I finally made it back to the truck, (and boy did that trek suck, since we had to go the REALLY LONG way around to avoid the Great Sucky Mud Pit) and the dogs and I drank about a gallon and a half of water and just sat on the ground in the shade cast by the truck for a while. I hadn't even set up camp yet, and the sun was already setting, and there was a storm blowing in. I knew there was no way I could set up camp before it arrived (the wind was starting to howl) so I just packed everything into the front seat and put the dogs in the back of the cab. Somehow, in the midst of all this, I shut my big toe in the door. I have no idea how. Hard enough that the door latched and locked. I screamed and cussed and yelled for a while. I'm pretty sure the outer bone is broken, since it still hurts like hell and I can't move it. It's all pretty colors, too. My entire toe is purple and blue, and I'm pretty sure that I'll at least loose the toenail, which will really be pretty. Long story shorter, the storm blew out, I set up the tent (in the bed of the truck, for those of you who haven't seen my REALLY COOL tent) tied up the dogs, and went to sleep. Naturally, I had forgotten my air mattress, but I hadn't forgotten my little pad thingy, so at least I had a little bit of squishy goodness to protect my battered body from the hard bed of the truck. Then it rained again and I got soaked, since I hadn't put up the rain fly. I spent the rest of the night in the cab of the truck. I woke up about four thirty when the sun started coming up (it was a beautiful sunrise) and realized how very sore every muscle in my body was from my little adventure the day before. so I watched the sunrise and set up my spiffy camp chair in the shade and read for a while until my tent and other gear dried out. I packed up (which took me about six times longer than usual, since I was hobbling around like I was a hundred and fifty, or at least as old as shour. (just kidding) I finally got packed up and loaded, started the truck, put it in drive, and pressed the accelorator. And the truck didn't move. And the truck still didn't move. So I get out, and lo and behold, the truck is stuck. Why am I not suprised??? So, since it is only about eight in the morning, still cool out, I didn't have anywhere to be today, and there was literally no one around for miles, I decided to wait it out. After all, a park ranger had to come along at some point, right? Right? Please tell me yes... So I pull out my spiffy camp chair and my book and sit down and wait. A couple hours later, I decide that if someone hasn't showed up by noon, I would lock up the truck, tie up the dogs, fill my water bottle, give the dogs what remained of our water in their food bowl, and hike the five miles back to the main road. (luckily, there was a road out to my campsite that led to the main road.) But I guess the world had decided it had punished me enough and sent two park rangers to my rescue. I spotted them from a ways away (?) and was ready for them when they got there. I wanted to throw myself screaming and crying upon thier tender mercies, but instead I walk up to their truck very calmly and say "I seem to have gotten myself a bit stuck. Do you have a rope?" They tell me that they can't pull me out for legal reasons (?) but they'll call me a tow truck. Meanwhile the older one is giving me all sorts of wonderful advice (sarcasm intended) like- "ya know, yall outta carry a shovel and some planks." Thank you, I know. "ya outta let some air outta them tirrs afore yall drive on't sand." Thank you. I KNOW. "Are ya out heer by yoursell? Ya shouldn do thaat." Thank you. I know. So the rangers drive out to the entrance to the park to wait for the tow truck so they can show them where I am. I am grateful they have left. I read some more. The tow truck shows up about an hour later and drags my happy ass out of the sand. I am grateful. I apologize for being a moron and the driver tells me that I'm not a moron, I knew when to stop and didn't get totally buried by digging myself in deeper and just had bad luck. I am even more grateful, and by now this guy is my best friend in the entire world. I don't even blink when he tells me that it'll cost $162.34. I just ask if he'll take a visa. He's apologetic, and explains that the only reason it costs so much is because their shop is in T or C, forty miles away, so the milage alone was $80. I give him the "for emergencies and school use only card" and it is declined. What? DECLINED? I never use that ca---oh yeah. I just paid off summer I tuition and all of summer II. Well, shit. So I follow them back to their shop in T or C, the driver buys me a Dr. Pepper, and we finally managed to get ahold of the bank to find out how much i can charge. $65. So I charge $65 and he lets me write a check for the balance, which he doesn't ever do since they don't take checks, but he figures I could have cut and run at any point after they got me out, and I didn't, so he figures I won't write a bad check. by now, I am in love with this guy. So I write the check. And I drive home, finally get home around four, put the dogs up and fall in the shower. For about an hour. I think I washed my hair five times. That shower was the best part of the past year. Absolutly nothing compares. So, since I just bitched and moaned that nothing ever happens to me in my last entry, I figured I'd better post this so all of you can make fun of me later.
I did learn though:
1. Pilsner can fish. She caught two when we finally found water. don't ask me how- she just watched the water for a while, plunged in and came up with a small mouth bass in her mouth. I threw that one and the next one she caught back.
2. My dogs will come when I call them, even if they are so far away I can't see them anymore.
3. Next time I go camping alone, I am going to the mountains.
Sorry this is so long, but I don't know how to do cuts, since I am computer stupid. I am going to hobble to the couch, watch a movie, and then sleep for fourteen or sixteen hours.
So. Saturday afternoon, get home, unload, start laundry, watch movie, go to sleep.
Sunday afternoon, wake up. You know those few minutes between awake and asleep where everything you thing sounds like the best idea of the past melinnium? Well. I thought to myself, well, I have the next two days off work, I have nothing to do and a full tank of gas. Why don't I take the dogs and go to the lake? I'll go up, camp, and come back tomorrow. Time to myself will be great since I spent the last week surrounded by high schoolers (some of whom were disturbingly attractive). So, since I thought this was brilliant, I got up, packed my gear, and was on the road in less than twenty minutes. First things first, though- I swing by the ATM so that I will have some cash for the "trip" and the ATM EATS MY CARD. Did I view this as a bad omen? no. I just shrug, and continue on my merry way, figuring I'll go to the bank later and recover it. I get up to the lake and decide to try a different campground than the one I usually go to (and know very well) just for the hell of it, in a grand spirit of adventure. So I find myself a deserted beach and park the truck. And discover that it is a beach in name only. Yes, there is sand. Yes, it is deserted. It is also about a mile and a half from the water. I think to myself, that's not so bad. Easy 20 minute walk. Look- a clear path right to the water. (and over a hill and along a cliff and over some rocks and cactus and lots of desert. Which I came to find out) Well, the water only looked close. Yes, as the crow flies, the water was pretty close to my campsite. If I could fly, it wouldn't be a problem. But no. what I didn't know was that just over a tiny hill on my "beach" was a freakin CLIFF. Wouldnt be too much of a problem if I had been wearing real shoes and jeans, instead of a swimsuit and sandals. So the dogs and I try to find a way around. Roughly an hour and a half later, we actually get to where we can see the water. Yay. By this point, I am thinking I'm about to die from heat stroke and even the dogs are just sitting and panting. Water is the only hope--water-----water-----w---a-----t-----er------- So the actual water is about 30 yards away, and I realize that I am on top of a little bluff that extends over the shoreline. I go to the end of the bluff, and it is only about six or seven feet tall, and I can see wet sand and NO ROCKS below. So I jump, thinking no big deal, whatever.....then I land. And promptly sink up to mid thigh in ooze. First words through my mind are "Eeeew, gross!" Followed quickly by the realization that I am SINKING. Then I cussed. loudly and vehemently. Pilsner (one of the dogs) tries to jump in after me, and I yell at her until she goes away. Of course, I had jumped AWAY from the rocky bluff and the only stable land I knew of. so I'm struggling to get back, and pretty much just flopping around in the mud, although I am mangaging to keep myself from sinking further. Until I trip on something slimy and nasty (probably just a tree branch, althoug my rather overactive imagination supplied me with images of alligators and giant squid and the Monster from the Black Lagoon) and I managed to fall flat on my face. In the one sinkhole at Elephant Butte. This was when I was pretty sure that I was going to die, and archaeologists 3000 years from now would dig up my skeletal remains and think I was a sacrifice to the Great God Mudpit, and forever after I would be known as Rio Grande Woman, along with Clovis Man and Fulsom Man. (some time before this, I had let Pilsner and Evie off thier leashes and I was just carrying the leashes. Good thing, too.) I finally manage to struggle upright and finally managed to make it back to the edge of the bluff. No good. Still sinking. In a burst of genius, or something, I hook the leashes together and throw the middle part over a protruding edge of the bluff, and somehow manage to yank myself out of the mud. then I just sit on the ground and breathe for a while. The dogs and I finally make it to the water, where the three of us pretty much just colapse in the water. I washed off most of the mud, but it was black and sticky and gross and took forever to get off, and no matter how long I scrubbed and splashed, I was positive there was still some on me. Time to go back to the truck. Hours had passed by this point. (I still had my watch on. How it survived, I'll never know.) Long story short, the dogs and I finally made it back to the truck, (and boy did that trek suck, since we had to go the REALLY LONG way around to avoid the Great Sucky Mud Pit) and the dogs and I drank about a gallon and a half of water and just sat on the ground in the shade cast by the truck for a while. I hadn't even set up camp yet, and the sun was already setting, and there was a storm blowing in. I knew there was no way I could set up camp before it arrived (the wind was starting to howl) so I just packed everything into the front seat and put the dogs in the back of the cab. Somehow, in the midst of all this, I shut my big toe in the door. I have no idea how. Hard enough that the door latched and locked. I screamed and cussed and yelled for a while. I'm pretty sure the outer bone is broken, since it still hurts like hell and I can't move it. It's all pretty colors, too. My entire toe is purple and blue, and I'm pretty sure that I'll at least loose the toenail, which will really be pretty. Long story shorter, the storm blew out, I set up the tent (in the bed of the truck, for those of you who haven't seen my REALLY COOL tent) tied up the dogs, and went to sleep. Naturally, I had forgotten my air mattress, but I hadn't forgotten my little pad thingy, so at least I had a little bit of squishy goodness to protect my battered body from the hard bed of the truck. Then it rained again and I got soaked, since I hadn't put up the rain fly. I spent the rest of the night in the cab of the truck. I woke up about four thirty when the sun started coming up (it was a beautiful sunrise) and realized how very sore every muscle in my body was from my little adventure the day before. so I watched the sunrise and set up my spiffy camp chair in the shade and read for a while until my tent and other gear dried out. I packed up (which took me about six times longer than usual, since I was hobbling around like I was a hundred and fifty, or at least as old as shour. (just kidding) I finally got packed up and loaded, started the truck, put it in drive, and pressed the accelorator. And the truck didn't move. And the truck still didn't move. So I get out, and lo and behold, the truck is stuck. Why am I not suprised??? So, since it is only about eight in the morning, still cool out, I didn't have anywhere to be today, and there was literally no one around for miles, I decided to wait it out. After all, a park ranger had to come along at some point, right? Right? Please tell me yes... So I pull out my spiffy camp chair and my book and sit down and wait. A couple hours later, I decide that if someone hasn't showed up by noon, I would lock up the truck, tie up the dogs, fill my water bottle, give the dogs what remained of our water in their food bowl, and hike the five miles back to the main road. (luckily, there was a road out to my campsite that led to the main road.) But I guess the world had decided it had punished me enough and sent two park rangers to my rescue. I spotted them from a ways away (?) and was ready for them when they got there. I wanted to throw myself screaming and crying upon thier tender mercies, but instead I walk up to their truck very calmly and say "I seem to have gotten myself a bit stuck. Do you have a rope?" They tell me that they can't pull me out for legal reasons (?) but they'll call me a tow truck. Meanwhile the older one is giving me all sorts of wonderful advice (sarcasm intended) like- "ya know, yall outta carry a shovel and some planks." Thank you, I know. "ya outta let some air outta them tirrs afore yall drive on't sand." Thank you. I KNOW. "Are ya out heer by yoursell? Ya shouldn do thaat." Thank you. I know. So the rangers drive out to the entrance to the park to wait for the tow truck so they can show them where I am. I am grateful they have left. I read some more. The tow truck shows up about an hour later and drags my happy ass out of the sand. I am grateful. I apologize for being a moron and the driver tells me that I'm not a moron, I knew when to stop and didn't get totally buried by digging myself in deeper and just had bad luck. I am even more grateful, and by now this guy is my best friend in the entire world. I don't even blink when he tells me that it'll cost $162.34. I just ask if he'll take a visa. He's apologetic, and explains that the only reason it costs so much is because their shop is in T or C, forty miles away, so the milage alone was $80. I give him the "for emergencies and school use only card" and it is declined. What? DECLINED? I never use that ca---oh yeah. I just paid off summer I tuition and all of summer II. Well, shit. So I follow them back to their shop in T or C, the driver buys me a Dr. Pepper, and we finally managed to get ahold of the bank to find out how much i can charge. $65. So I charge $65 and he lets me write a check for the balance, which he doesn't ever do since they don't take checks, but he figures I could have cut and run at any point after they got me out, and I didn't, so he figures I won't write a bad check. by now, I am in love with this guy. So I write the check. And I drive home, finally get home around four, put the dogs up and fall in the shower. For about an hour. I think I washed my hair five times. That shower was the best part of the past year. Absolutly nothing compares. So, since I just bitched and moaned that nothing ever happens to me in my last entry, I figured I'd better post this so all of you can make fun of me later.
I did learn though:
1. Pilsner can fish. She caught two when we finally found water. don't ask me how- she just watched the water for a while, plunged in and came up with a small mouth bass in her mouth. I threw that one and the next one she caught back.
2. My dogs will come when I call them, even if they are so far away I can't see them anymore.
3. Next time I go camping alone, I am going to the mountains.
Sorry this is so long, but I don't know how to do cuts, since I am computer stupid. I am going to hobble to the couch, watch a movie, and then sleep for fourteen or sixteen hours.