I Know What Love Is.
It is hard to know exactly where to start... I haven't journaled online in quite awhile. But I need to write about what's been on my heart and on my mind as of late.
Recently my step mom asked me a really personal question. She asked me if I was comfortable with my sexual identity and whether or not I was gay. She asked when my father was out of the room. And I had to answer her. There was no way of backing out. So I told her the truth. I just don't see guys in THAT way. I didn't tell her the whole truth though... didn't confess to the fact that Slash Stories are a total turn on and all that jazz... Just told her enough to tame the beast.
She now thinks I am all out Lesbian.
When that isn't quite the truth. I like guys. I just happen to like women better.
There was no screaming or yelling or things being thrown... it was actually a peaceful coming out despite all that I imagined.
Then came the next step. Telling my father.
Step mom called him back into the room and told him I had something to tell him. Instead of making things even more complicated. I came out and said "I think I may be gay."
Again. No screaming or yelling or carrying on...or explosions.
(I expected explosions from him.)
Then together they informed me that my brother has suspected for ages... Then why the hell confront me about it NOW?
I may be out of the closet on some fronts... But I'm terrfied to come out to my friends down here.
My closest friend down here and I have a common friend who is bisexual, and it doesn't seem to bother her. But she is s strong christian and I am afraid that telling her will destroy our friendship for good. But I feel compelled to tell her this and share my coming out story with my parents with her. Get her view on things, I guess. But at the expense of her friendship? No way. Friends are few and far between down here.
Recently my step mom asked me a really personal question. She asked me if I was comfortable with my sexual identity and whether or not I was gay. She asked when my father was out of the room. And I had to answer her. There was no way of backing out. So I told her the truth. I just don't see guys in THAT way. I didn't tell her the whole truth though... didn't confess to the fact that Slash Stories are a total turn on and all that jazz... Just told her enough to tame the beast.
She now thinks I am all out Lesbian.
When that isn't quite the truth. I like guys. I just happen to like women better.
There was no screaming or yelling or things being thrown... it was actually a peaceful coming out despite all that I imagined.
Then came the next step. Telling my father.
Step mom called him back into the room and told him I had something to tell him. Instead of making things even more complicated. I came out and said "I think I may be gay."
Again. No screaming or yelling or carrying on...or explosions.
(I expected explosions from him.)
Then together they informed me that my brother has suspected for ages... Then why the hell confront me about it NOW?
I may be out of the closet on some fronts... But I'm terrfied to come out to my friends down here.
My closest friend down here and I have a common friend who is bisexual, and it doesn't seem to bother her. But she is s strong christian and I am afraid that telling her will destroy our friendship for good. But I feel compelled to tell her this and share my coming out story with my parents with her. Get her view on things, I guess. But at the expense of her friendship? No way. Friends are few and far between down here.