Catharsis
Dear Rubi, Kim, Ash and anyone else who is listening:
Please, if you are going to IM me and then leave right afterwards and especially if you are not going to have courtsey to let me say goodbye don;t bother iming me. I am tired of having people IM me, have me carry a conversation for a minuite or so then say shit like:
"Oh I think I'm going to go read and do the responsible thing"
You know what this says to me when I read it:
"I'd rather do homework than talk with you because this conversation I started is not going anywhere because I'm not talking"
There is only ONE person I'd ever accept that from and none of you are her. She's busted her preverbial balls and sacrificed herself for her education. She has my everlasting respect and is the only light and inspiration I have amongst my sea of fair-weather friends. You all were fine while I was in Orlando but if I'm on bases as little as a flipping hour away (R.M.V.) since I joined the Marines you all have said "F*ck you Boone."
I would like to remind you becoming a Marine did not erase the fact I had to go on Zoloft. And if anything it is an even bigger impetus to relapse. But I too have my struggles and sacrifices for my education. And mark my words I will have a College degree about the same time you all will. Because I have someone who inspires me that one's education must come before themselves even. So I will tell you all what. I will sit here at Cherry Point and become qualified to work on my Multi Million dollar Aircraft and when I hit the Fleet in March Use my AP and MCI credits and CLEP tests to push myself onto the same level as my scholastic peers and I will get my (honors) degree while building a future for my family and you all can kiss my ass. Because if all you want from me is a good feeling about yourself you will NOT find it here. When you DO something to merit it then you will have earned it. You are all too old to act like you are with only Ash being an exception.
So if you are going to talk to me at all then talk. If not then don't waste my time and emotional strength needed to deal with you. There are other less fortunante people out there that could use my strength. As I told Mrs. "Robert" Valle: "I am now in a position where if I don't do my job people die. I cannot allow my emotional condition to be degreded by the likes of you thus distracting me from my duties. People's lives are in my hands now which is something you can never understand until it applies to you." I may still be a student but I only have 3 months left. And yes I AM saying I am better than you but only because I have earned that right through sweat and blood. And once agian the ONLY one of you who can say a damn thing about it is she I previousally mentioned. The rest of you have my love if no longer my respect.
For anyone else reading this like Danny or Diana I appologize but I am getting tired of having my forgiving nature and love for these women become an invitation to be walked all over emotionally.
Please, if you are going to IM me and then leave right afterwards and especially if you are not going to have courtsey to let me say goodbye don;t bother iming me. I am tired of having people IM me, have me carry a conversation for a minuite or so then say shit like:
"Oh I think I'm going to go read and do the responsible thing"
You know what this says to me when I read it:
"I'd rather do homework than talk with you because this conversation I started is not going anywhere because I'm not talking"
There is only ONE person I'd ever accept that from and none of you are her. She's busted her preverbial balls and sacrificed herself for her education. She has my everlasting respect and is the only light and inspiration I have amongst my sea of fair-weather friends. You all were fine while I was in Orlando but if I'm on bases as little as a flipping hour away (R.M.V.) since I joined the Marines you all have said "F*ck you Boone."
I would like to remind you becoming a Marine did not erase the fact I had to go on Zoloft. And if anything it is an even bigger impetus to relapse. But I too have my struggles and sacrifices for my education. And mark my words I will have a College degree about the same time you all will. Because I have someone who inspires me that one's education must come before themselves even. So I will tell you all what. I will sit here at Cherry Point and become qualified to work on my Multi Million dollar Aircraft and when I hit the Fleet in March Use my AP and MCI credits and CLEP tests to push myself onto the same level as my scholastic peers and I will get my (honors) degree while building a future for my family and you all can kiss my ass. Because if all you want from me is a good feeling about yourself you will NOT find it here. When you DO something to merit it then you will have earned it. You are all too old to act like you are with only Ash being an exception.
So if you are going to talk to me at all then talk. If not then don't waste my time and emotional strength needed to deal with you. There are other less fortunante people out there that could use my strength. As I told Mrs. "Robert" Valle: "I am now in a position where if I don't do my job people die. I cannot allow my emotional condition to be degreded by the likes of you thus distracting me from my duties. People's lives are in my hands now which is something you can never understand until it applies to you." I may still be a student but I only have 3 months left. And yes I AM saying I am better than you but only because I have earned that right through sweat and blood. And once agian the ONLY one of you who can say a damn thing about it is she I previousally mentioned. The rest of you have my love if no longer my respect.
For anyone else reading this like Danny or Diana I appologize but I am getting tired of having my forgiving nature and love for these women become an invitation to be walked all over emotionally.