New Sanctuary Ficlet: "Color"
Don't say it. Bzzt. Not a word.
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly. All the property of...uhmmm...Damian Kindler and...people...stuff...hunh...I gotta make a new official disclaimer for this fandom, don't I? I'll get right on that.
Title: Color
Rating: Teen
Pairings: Implied Helen/John, implied Helen/Will UST
Spoilers: General knowledge through Webisode 3
Much thanks to Teddy E for the speed-beta!
"Color"
by
Rowan Darkstar
She's been alone too many years to count. And this is part of the rules. She never counts. She has learned to close off unwelcome parts of herself with clinical proficiency, file away emotions and sensation like the endless records she has logged in a hundred years of study of abnormals.
The nightmares break the rules. They reside in the place she can't control with the brisk manner and determination with which she rules the Sanctuary of her own creation.
She closes her eyes and images float unbidden through her sleep fogged mind. Good and bad, soft and hard.
She tells herself those who live and work around her, beside her, have no knowledge of these dreams. But she knows it’s a lie. They have all camped out on too much rugged terrain, slept in shifts and watched over one another's slumber. The illusion holds, because no one dares approach her. She has fostered fear and respect and built her iron tower.
Then there is Ashley.
A rare few times since Ashley grew old enough to understand, Helen has felt the gentle touch of the girl's hand in her hair at night, soothing her through violent images and raw emotions she is powerless to suppress. Helen has never been able to accept comfort from the child she is meant to protect. She rolls away, turns her back on Ashley's tender offerings and Ashley hovers a few moments, then moves away in the dimness.
Helen remembers gentle music floating from a garden window on the Italian coast. A month in paradise with him at her side. She remembers a soft hand cradling her cheek, a solid warmth at the small of her back. She remembers smiling and laughing in the sunlight, her hair the golden color of the light. She remembers being someone who had not darkened and paled to match the shadowy world in which she has built her fortress.
The new man, he looks at her like she is a person. Someone who could be approached. Spoken to. Argued with. Touched.
She can't let that happen. She can't open those gates. Rules are rules.
She is Dr. Magnus. Her mission is greater than the needs of one human woman. She stands alone.
She must stand alone.
The tear stains on her pillow fade, unseen, into the dark cloth.
*****
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly. All the property of...uhmmm...Damian Kindler and...people...stuff...hunh...I gotta make a new official disclaimer for this fandom, don't I? I'll get right on that.
Title: Color
Rating: Teen
Pairings: Implied Helen/John, implied Helen/Will UST
Spoilers: General knowledge through Webisode 3
Much thanks to Teddy E for the speed-beta!
"Color"
by
Rowan Darkstar
She's been alone too many years to count. And this is part of the rules. She never counts. She has learned to close off unwelcome parts of herself with clinical proficiency, file away emotions and sensation like the endless records she has logged in a hundred years of study of abnormals.
The nightmares break the rules. They reside in the place she can't control with the brisk manner and determination with which she rules the Sanctuary of her own creation.
She closes her eyes and images float unbidden through her sleep fogged mind. Good and bad, soft and hard.
She tells herself those who live and work around her, beside her, have no knowledge of these dreams. But she knows it’s a lie. They have all camped out on too much rugged terrain, slept in shifts and watched over one another's slumber. The illusion holds, because no one dares approach her. She has fostered fear and respect and built her iron tower.
Then there is Ashley.
A rare few times since Ashley grew old enough to understand, Helen has felt the gentle touch of the girl's hand in her hair at night, soothing her through violent images and raw emotions she is powerless to suppress. Helen has never been able to accept comfort from the child she is meant to protect. She rolls away, turns her back on Ashley's tender offerings and Ashley hovers a few moments, then moves away in the dimness.
Helen remembers gentle music floating from a garden window on the Italian coast. A month in paradise with him at her side. She remembers a soft hand cradling her cheek, a solid warmth at the small of her back. She remembers smiling and laughing in the sunlight, her hair the golden color of the light. She remembers being someone who had not darkened and paled to match the shadowy world in which she has built her fortress.
The new man, he looks at her like she is a person. Someone who could be approached. Spoken to. Argued with. Touched.
She can't let that happen. She can't open those gates. Rules are rules.
She is Dr. Magnus. Her mission is greater than the needs of one human woman. She stands alone.
She must stand alone.
The tear stains on her pillow fade, unseen, into the dark cloth.
*****