Week 31, early morning

[rita_anne_terry]

After showering after her morning run, Rita-Anne stood naked in the girl's bathroom, looking at herself critically in the mirror. Am I too fat? No... Ugly? Nope! Still... something's got to change... My knight-life is alright. Not great... I haven't fought any huge evil thing lately... but it's alright. School work is fine... except for math

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[studentsatyr]

Rita-Anne's bouncing boobs holds Ash's attention until she speaks.

Ash says the first thing that comes into his head, "Being a virgin?" And he immediately changes his mind, "Nah, 'cause you don't know what you're missing. So then it'd be if you have someone and loose them... in a humiliating and painful way." What he's said sinks in and his face falls. "Oh, Rita-Anne, I'm so sorry. Terry told me a little bit and..." Impulsively he drops to one knee in front of her. "I swear I have no intention of doing anything like that to you. I do love Merry and you should know that, but there is room in my life for other people, and Merry knows that. But if having to share would hurt you, I don't want to do that, even though you are really hot."

[rita_anne_terry]

For a moment, Rita-Anne got confused, and wondered what exactly her trusted companion told Ashton... but since Terry is her trusted companion, she figured it wouldn't have been much... expecially considering the Virgin comment.

"Actually, it get's a little more complicated than that... as in almost eight and a half months down the road more complicated..."

[studentsatyr]

It's not often Ash reacts with stunned silence to anything, but with Rita-Anne's statement, there is a nociceable pause as As recovers from his obvious surprise.

"Whoa. So if I'm getting this right now, you're not olny a not a virgin but you got to the point of being eight and a half months pregnant - I assume sometime after being run out of Finland by Duke Droesem." Ash blinks and his thoughts come out of his lips, "Which means I can think of several things that you might think of as the worst thing that could happen to a girl at that point..." Ash's face is downfallen as he puts himself in Rita-Anne's shoes. "I'm so sorry, Rita-Anne. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but..." Impulsively, the teary-eyed satyr gives the pooka a hug.

[rita_anne_terry]

Rita-Anne wasn't expecting the hug, and she definately wasn't expecting the tears! The situation was not going quite as she expected it to go.

"Closer to wearing a too-too than a size eight and a half," she said, trying to sooth Ashton. "And it was ancient history. Water under the bridge, and all that sort of stuff."

So if it's water under the bridge, why bring it up at all? nagged a little voice. Why not just do it?

Rita-Anne mentally told that little voice to shut up.

[studentsatyr]

Ash blinks a few times, then resums thinking out loud, "It's really not, is it," he says softly. He gives her a wry grin, "I don't think I can take that at face value, and not just because you're a pooka. You ran off on me, there's something wrong." He looks at her with concern, "I don't want to hurt you, I like you. But... Has there been anyone - not counting Terry - that you've let get close to you, someone who's been anything more than just a friend?"

[rita_anne_terry]

Rita-Anne tried to look non-chalant by shruging. The wind played at her hair as she did.

"Got to love the life of an army brat; always traveling and moving whenever the situation calls for it." Not to mention, I don't want to get anyone killed in whatever cross-fire might happen some day... "On the plus side, I have over a million and a half people on my Hot-female list."

[studentsatyr]

The last remark elicits a wry smile. "I could almost believe that last part," says Ash. His expresion drops back to seriousness and he says gently, "So that seems to be a no." There's a slight pause, then he continues, "I can see why, but - I think you need to be honest with yourself, that what happened has affected you. He gives her a wry grin. "And this is the point were I'd expect the satyr to blurt out that a roll in the hay would be good for you." He shrugs. "But I'm not sure. I think it would be if it was me with you problem, but you're you and I'm me. I want you to do what is right for you, 'cause, well, I do love you. - Not that I'm in love with you," he hastens to add. "But I think you're someone special and I don't want you to get hurt any more."

[rita_anne_terry]

It isn't often that Rita-Anne is completely flabergasted, but she is now. So, she says the only thing that comes to mind, "How?"

She also forces the memory of the pain (both physical and emotional) she felt when she miscarried out of her mind. Running and avoidance seems to be her way of dealing. It's worked so far, but it also means that she doesn't have another coping method as of yet.

[studentsatyr]

"How to deal with what happened?" says Ash, taking a stab at what Rita-Anne is asking. "Well, let's see. Hm, I guess some things that come to mind straight off are avoidance strategies, you know, like keeping busy and concentrating on other things. I think that sorta stuff is okay for a while - it give you some breathing space and maybe dulls the edge - but eventually, I think you need to somehow deal with what happened. I think that it would be good for you to let people, at least someone, get close to you. Give someone you like a bit of an opening, so you can remember there are good things that come out of getting close to people." Ash sighs. And sooner or later, you really need to come to terms with what happend. From what I've read, crying is good. And I think, it would be good to have someone to hold you when you did let yourself think about it." He looks at he seriously, "I'd be willing to be there for you, if you wanted." Ash sighs. "I don't think it's good for you to be like this, to be afraid of sex I... I don'

[rita_anne_terry]

"Run-away Train is a pretty good song, even if it was done by Oasis" Rita-Anne admits.

"But most of the time, I don't get a chance to get close to anyone. A day or two, tops, and I'm gone. It's been like that since I was old."