A real update... oh my.

[rovvis]

So I decided I would give a real update about my weekend for once. The weekend started for me, like it always does, on thursday. After work I went home to do... well I didn't really have plans so I started playing Final Fantasy II that I had borrowed from my neighbor. After playing for a few hours without the ability to save my game, because I didn't have a PS1 memory card, I died. Being slightly annoyed that all my game time was now wasted and given the fact I was out of cigarettes, also slightly annoying, I decided to leave my wonderfully cold apartment and venture into the wilds of Knoxville to forage for nicotine. After finally getting cigarettes I decied the hell with it and kept on driving west. I ended up at Bullfeathers for their Keraoke night and as luck, ok it wasn't really luck I knew that they would probably be there, would have it I ran into (Jacob) Smitty, Wayne, and Emo (Jacob). They were all well on their way ot being hammered because of the $3.75 pitchers. Much unintentional hilarity was watched on my part. Smitty, Wayne and Emo all sang, Emo for the first time, and he did a bang up job on the Cure if I may say so. We also played the bowling video game, which is much like Golden Tee, only bowling. After Bullfeathers Smitty decided he wanted to go to Prince's for a bit, so off we go. This is where the night gets really amusing for me. As we get there they are ending the Keraoke but Smitty talks to the KJ and since he would be leaving for Iraq the following Monday, AKA today, he is allowed to sing the final song. As the KJ announces that he is heading for Iraq soon a crazy, methed out looking, middle aged, redneck trucker goes up to the stage to thank Smitty for serving. Apprenatly this guy had served in 'Nam, and it showed, boy did it show. He looked like the kind of Trucker that would wear the faces of the hookers that he killed as masks while driving down the road, wearing womens underwear and masturbating. But I digress. After Smitty sings crazy trucker invites him over to his table, Smitty being Smitty obliges. Durring this time I am sitting at the crack box with Taro and Emo generally making fun of, Well, Emo. Crazy Trucker at about this time buys Smitty a pitcher and Smitty, Crazy Trucker, and Crazy Truckers Lot Lizard  Whore are sitting around talking. This is when Emo does what will come to bring me literally hours of entertainment. He does what no one, especially someone that looks like he could be batting for the wrong team does at a table with a couple of drunk, crazy rednecks. He reaches across the table to help himself to some of Smitty's beer. Now, of course Smitty would not have a problem with this, he and Emo are boys, But drunk, crazy trucker and even drunker lot lizard whore did. They freak out and spend a good 10 - 15 minutes brow beating poor drunk Emo, at one time even threatening to slap him. I kept my distance, but was ready to come into the fray if I was needed. Smitty was finally able to defuse the situation and everyone calmed down. It was, however, obvious that Emo was still upset and confused by the whole thing. Shortly after everything calmed down crazy trucker decided to take his sweet sweet, and by that I mean totally completely and irriversably busted, peice of ass back to his truck to do what I shudder to think about. AS soon as they are gone, Emo starts talking shit. Stupid shit. Shit like if crazy trucker comes back he is going to punch him in the mouth. Ignorant, retarded noise that only a drunk bastard like Emo would spout after the situatio had ended trying to posture like he is a bad ass the his friends. This goes on... and on... and on. Finally Prince's is closing and it is obvious that Emo is in no shape to drive yet, so we all decide to go next door to WaHo. As we are walking over Emo says for the fourth time that minute, that he is done talking about crazy trucker. I being the sober one of the two of us decide to use this to my advatage, an asshole move I know, but hey, I bet Emo that he cannot go the meal without bring up crazy trucker. Emo being the fool that he is agrees. So, we sit down, and I must say I was empressed, we made it past our drink order before Emo starts talking about it agian. I tell him, ha, pay up your buying my meal, and he starts trying to argue that he was just talking about the situation in general, not the guy himself. The neutral partys at the table, being Smitty and Taro, are explained the bet and the questionable call and side with me that you cannot talk about the situation without talking about the guy. Emo continues to agrue so I decide to drop it for the moment. Five minutes later Emo starts going off about it agian this time talking about the guy, so I call him out agian and tell him to pay up. This time he says he is talking about someother guy. Eventually I see the futility in tring to get Emo to pay up on the bet, and that I am clearly stuck paying for my own meal, even though i had learly won said be. The rest of the night ends up turning into loud semi drunken banter about everything from crazy trucker, to how retarded Emo is, to how blatently homosexual Emo is, to music, but for the most part we made fun of Emo. But like all good things, this night had to come to an end. After paying our checks it was decided Smitty was going to come over to my place and burn off some CD's for hime to take with him to Iraq. I would like to say we stayed up all night talking about music, but in reality I pretty much went to bed as soon as we got home.

Stay tuned for the next wonderful instalment "Friday" or "Why the fuck is Jake calling me looking for Smitty, and why is he telling me that Smitty has a Warrent for a Class E Fedreal Felony"