Enough is NEVER enough....
It's no surprise to anyone that I was disappointed about my appointment last week -- I felt like no progress had been made. Thankfully, I've found a sort of contentment in a basic routine that I vary a little everyday. My mood has improved tremendously and instead of feeling lost, I have more of a tired obsession to just get this over with. Easier said than done when there's no timeline, though. I've never taken a day at a time quite so literally before.
Some days I stay on the couch and veg. Some days I stay on the couch and work my knee stupid. Some days I go downstairs and clean/feed the animals until coming back up and passing out on the couch again. Some days I endeavor to clean the kitchen -- and have become pretty good at it, until I spill blueberries on the floor which are a bitch to pick up.
Saturday was completely out of routine. I stepped out of the bedroom in the morning and thought I would drown in the heated moisture that seemed to have invaded my house. I tried to convince Dave that I needed my snorkel gear to survive - but couldn't get him out of bed. I thought he had drowned, too, so I leaned from the fish in the bedroom and grew gills so that I could make it to the bathroom. It was warm enough that I think my ass nearly melted to the toilet seat.....
Thankfully Dave survived. Convinced me that wearing snorkel gear in the house might be a little extreme, and made sure no peices of my derriere had stuck to my throne, and then served me breakfast in bed for the first time ever. The only thing I was missing was the serving tray with a little flower in the vase. And maybe a napkin. Oh well. That's what blankets are for, right?
... if only I could be so easy going...
Thunderstorms were threatening the area all weekend, but it was beautiful (if a little scorching) outside, so Dave tackled the jungle that had become the backyard. I screamed bloody murder when a voodoo cannibalistic head hunter came through the back door, and I swore he had already killed Dave and I vowed to get revenge, but apparently he had to shower first. I gave him that respect.
Once the dirt was washed off and the grass was out of his hair, he was a rther dashing voodoo man. I considered keeping him.
Then realized he was already mine to begin with. Oh, well. Revenge vows will need to offered another day, I suppose. I was melting, so retreated back to the cooled, devil-charmed air-conditioned bedroom, where Desi, Chloe and I were having a "girls' day in". I think they were very greatful to have the comfort of the cool air, but weren't so keen on being locked in the bedroom. It was a catch 22 for them -- so they slept. What better thing to do when you're bored?
Besides, it was kind of a treat to spend the day in bed with the dogs next to me. To say the least, it was comforting.
The day was nice -- Dave was able to get some "him" time in, and retreated to the other cool room of the house in which he resides, and we played video games for the remainder of the day. There was a small level of concern about the incoming storm, but while Edmonton received 110km/hr wind gusts, flooded streets, uprooted trees and collapsing buildings.... we had a few twigs on the ground and a pretty light show. I absolutely love storms, so I'll admit that it was a little disappointing.
Today was a day to be excited for, though. Since we could not get my original knee xrays from the Red Deer Hospital, we made the trek down to the the local hospital to see if we could get copies of those. But... I drove. *squeeee* On the way there, I got into the car, removed the brace, did my driving stint and then replaced the brace when I parked. It was a little uncomfortable, but alright. I think it would be easy to overdo it, since I find that I need to keep it upright.... turning corners bends the knee in a way that I really didn't like, unless I kept the few muscles I have built up rigid while turning that corner. Ends up DI here doesn't have a clue about releasing xrays for personal use, but she advised me to call back tomorrow and talk to the day clerk for more info. No worries, there!
When we got back to the car, I realized that I had been in the car with my brace on.... I couldn't do that before without touching the dash! How the hell did that happen?
Heh. Neither Dave or I thought of the extra space on the driver's side. After a few adjustments to the seat, I decided to leave the brace on. Discomfort solved! Time for an iced coffee to celebrate!!! WHeee!!!! We were going to take a cruise, but there was still stuff to do. Except I forgot where I lived, so had to drive around the neighbourhood a few times to get my bearings.
That's what happens when you don't drive for over a month -- you lost all memory of how to get home. Or, at least, I wanted to lose all memory, because having that freedom was SUCH a level of relief that I just didn't want to let go of it.
Especially when I tripped up the stairs when we did get home..... I have found that throwing the crutches on one's way down is a great way to save getting caught up in them and making things worse, however getting them back might be a little hard to do when there's no one else around.
In hindsight, I think I nearly canned Dave with them. Thankfully, he simply handed them back to me with a smirk on his face and let me fix my ordeal. Granted, I don't think he dared to make fun of me after he saw the look of terror on my face on the way down -- my knee was lined up with the corner of one of the stairs. And, even if it weren't, I think I would have been terrified anyways.
So much for the happy giddiness of driving. I toned it down a little after that.
I know I"ve said it before, but I need to say it as much as I can -- I am lucky. I am so horribly, sappily happy that I have someone who can not only help me through all of the mud and drama, but who seems happy to do it. It was rough for the first couple of weeks, since he was worried, I was high and we weren't in any kind of routine. Now that I'm able to help more and am starting to get around on my own a bit, we have found a routine and life seems to be falling into place. I made a comment to Dave yesterday that I'm sick of waiting for things to fall together -- it seems that whenever we start getting into any kind of routine, some kind of disaster (directed mostly at me) falls down and smites us, and just as we pull out of one and can see clear skies a cow falls in our path.
Or on my head.
Jesus. Just leave me the hell alone, already! Stop listening to Bif.....
But the more people I talk to, the more I find they are married because the feel they have to be, whether our of obligation or shamed because of different aspects of their lives. One of the most commonly heard phrases from many people these days is that they're relationship and/or marriage wouldn't last through an ordeal like we are currently going through. We did agree to better or worse, didn't we? Hopefully this is the worst...
Marriage seems to be what people think is the key to a respectable life whether they are happy or not, and it's simply heartbreaking to hear the stories from some people. I am overjoyed that Dave is my best friend, and proud to hear him say the same of me. When I hear people tell me how miserable they are in their marriage, it makes me wonder what life would have been like if I had NOT given in to my hubby's charm and goofiness. Would I have been as unhappy? Would I now be trying to do such a big mistake?
Doesn't matter. I am more than happy to know that we are in this for the long run, and that it is not something to dread. It's something to cherish and look forward to, and I'll be more than happy to tell any stranger that I am perfectly happy with my relationship.
Some days I stay on the couch and veg. Some days I stay on the couch and work my knee stupid. Some days I go downstairs and clean/feed the animals until coming back up and passing out on the couch again. Some days I endeavor to clean the kitchen -- and have become pretty good at it, until I spill blueberries on the floor which are a bitch to pick up.
Saturday was completely out of routine. I stepped out of the bedroom in the morning and thought I would drown in the heated moisture that seemed to have invaded my house. I tried to convince Dave that I needed my snorkel gear to survive - but couldn't get him out of bed. I thought he had drowned, too, so I leaned from the fish in the bedroom and grew gills so that I could make it to the bathroom. It was warm enough that I think my ass nearly melted to the toilet seat.....
Thankfully Dave survived. Convinced me that wearing snorkel gear in the house might be a little extreme, and made sure no peices of my derriere had stuck to my throne, and then served me breakfast in bed for the first time ever. The only thing I was missing was the serving tray with a little flower in the vase. And maybe a napkin. Oh well. That's what blankets are for, right?
... if only I could be so easy going...
Thunderstorms were threatening the area all weekend, but it was beautiful (if a little scorching) outside, so Dave tackled the jungle that had become the backyard. I screamed bloody murder when a voodoo cannibalistic head hunter came through the back door, and I swore he had already killed Dave and I vowed to get revenge, but apparently he had to shower first. I gave him that respect.
Once the dirt was washed off and the grass was out of his hair, he was a rther dashing voodoo man. I considered keeping him.
Then realized he was already mine to begin with. Oh, well. Revenge vows will need to offered another day, I suppose. I was melting, so retreated back to the cooled, devil-charmed air-conditioned bedroom, where Desi, Chloe and I were having a "girls' day in". I think they were very greatful to have the comfort of the cool air, but weren't so keen on being locked in the bedroom. It was a catch 22 for them -- so they slept. What better thing to do when you're bored?
Besides, it was kind of a treat to spend the day in bed with the dogs next to me. To say the least, it was comforting.
The day was nice -- Dave was able to get some "him" time in, and retreated to the other cool room of the house in which he resides, and we played video games for the remainder of the day. There was a small level of concern about the incoming storm, but while Edmonton received 110km/hr wind gusts, flooded streets, uprooted trees and collapsing buildings.... we had a few twigs on the ground and a pretty light show. I absolutely love storms, so I'll admit that it was a little disappointing.
Today was a day to be excited for, though. Since we could not get my original knee xrays from the Red Deer Hospital, we made the trek down to the the local hospital to see if we could get copies of those. But... I drove. *squeeee* On the way there, I got into the car, removed the brace, did my driving stint and then replaced the brace when I parked. It was a little uncomfortable, but alright. I think it would be easy to overdo it, since I find that I need to keep it upright.... turning corners bends the knee in a way that I really didn't like, unless I kept the few muscles I have built up rigid while turning that corner. Ends up DI here doesn't have a clue about releasing xrays for personal use, but she advised me to call back tomorrow and talk to the day clerk for more info. No worries, there!
When we got back to the car, I realized that I had been in the car with my brace on.... I couldn't do that before without touching the dash! How the hell did that happen?
Heh. Neither Dave or I thought of the extra space on the driver's side. After a few adjustments to the seat, I decided to leave the brace on. Discomfort solved! Time for an iced coffee to celebrate!!! WHeee!!!! We were going to take a cruise, but there was still stuff to do. Except I forgot where I lived, so had to drive around the neighbourhood a few times to get my bearings.
That's what happens when you don't drive for over a month -- you lost all memory of how to get home. Or, at least, I wanted to lose all memory, because having that freedom was SUCH a level of relief that I just didn't want to let go of it.
Especially when I tripped up the stairs when we did get home..... I have found that throwing the crutches on one's way down is a great way to save getting caught up in them and making things worse, however getting them back might be a little hard to do when there's no one else around.
In hindsight, I think I nearly canned Dave with them. Thankfully, he simply handed them back to me with a smirk on his face and let me fix my ordeal. Granted, I don't think he dared to make fun of me after he saw the look of terror on my face on the way down -- my knee was lined up with the corner of one of the stairs. And, even if it weren't, I think I would have been terrified anyways.
So much for the happy giddiness of driving. I toned it down a little after that.
I know I"ve said it before, but I need to say it as much as I can -- I am lucky. I am so horribly, sappily happy that I have someone who can not only help me through all of the mud and drama, but who seems happy to do it. It was rough for the first couple of weeks, since he was worried, I was high and we weren't in any kind of routine. Now that I'm able to help more and am starting to get around on my own a bit, we have found a routine and life seems to be falling into place. I made a comment to Dave yesterday that I'm sick of waiting for things to fall together -- it seems that whenever we start getting into any kind of routine, some kind of disaster (directed mostly at me) falls down and smites us, and just as we pull out of one and can see clear skies a cow falls in our path.
Or on my head.
Jesus. Just leave me the hell alone, already! Stop listening to Bif.....
But the more people I talk to, the more I find they are married because the feel they have to be, whether our of obligation or shamed because of different aspects of their lives. One of the most commonly heard phrases from many people these days is that they're relationship and/or marriage wouldn't last through an ordeal like we are currently going through. We did agree to better or worse, didn't we? Hopefully this is the worst...
Marriage seems to be what people think is the key to a respectable life whether they are happy or not, and it's simply heartbreaking to hear the stories from some people. I am overjoyed that Dave is my best friend, and proud to hear him say the same of me. When I hear people tell me how miserable they are in their marriage, it makes me wonder what life would have been like if I had NOT given in to my hubby's charm and goofiness. Would I have been as unhappy? Would I now be trying to do such a big mistake?
Doesn't matter. I am more than happy to know that we are in this for the long run, and that it is not something to dread. It's something to cherish and look forward to, and I'll be more than happy to tell any stranger that I am perfectly happy with my relationship.