(no subject)
My boyfriend is flying to Amsterdam right now for a business trip and I’m drinking vodka and water, trying to tire myself out. My sleeping schedule is so messed up.
He’s so great. I was so hesitant about all of this and sometimes I still am. He already knows all my secrets and he doesn’t judge me. I think my new birth control has my hormones all jacked up because I have been crying so much lately. Sometimes because I’m happy. Sometimes because I’m a nut job. Sometimes because I am too in my head, which is all the time. I have stained his pillow and his shirts and he just listens. I cry in traffic. I cry because of bad dreams. I think mostly I’m just really exhausted.
Wednesday we had tickets to go see Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks. So we go to dinner first and as soon as we order, Cassidy calls and says that someone has smashed in his car window and stolen his laptop. Of course it has to happen at my house. His laptop had all his stuff for his trip. His window cost $500 to replace. His car is so nice. He never got angry. His temperament amazes me. He levels me out so much because I am hypersensitive. We vacuumed up all the glass and I drove back to his house. We spend a lot of time together. I could literally just lay with him for hours and sometimes that is what we do. Kiss and thumbwars and he sings me silly songs and I never even had to ask.
This weekend we did birthday stuff. I gave him all his stuff before his birthday. A new kettle, books, art. Saturday we went to this arcade/bar and I left my wallet and I wasn’t even drunk. Someone stole 100$ and turned everything else in, so I guess it was a blessing. Sunday we went to the aquarium because he had never been. He wants to go on a vacation together. He wants to take me to Canada to see where he is from. He asked me if when my lease is up, if I would want to live in the city with him. It scares the shit out of me feel this vulnerable. He always asks if I’m getting tired of him. I think he’ll get tired of me first but I hope it’s a while away.
I’m really happy with my life right now. I’m really happy to be in a really stable relationship with someone who adores me just as much as I adore him. He accepts all my flaws and he’s a weirdo too. We’re two happy weirdos. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Work is good too. I am finally, really happy. It’s so weird and refreshing to feel like this.
He’s so great. I was so hesitant about all of this and sometimes I still am. He already knows all my secrets and he doesn’t judge me. I think my new birth control has my hormones all jacked up because I have been crying so much lately. Sometimes because I’m happy. Sometimes because I’m a nut job. Sometimes because I am too in my head, which is all the time. I have stained his pillow and his shirts and he just listens. I cry in traffic. I cry because of bad dreams. I think mostly I’m just really exhausted.
Wednesday we had tickets to go see Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks. So we go to dinner first and as soon as we order, Cassidy calls and says that someone has smashed in his car window and stolen his laptop. Of course it has to happen at my house. His laptop had all his stuff for his trip. His window cost $500 to replace. His car is so nice. He never got angry. His temperament amazes me. He levels me out so much because I am hypersensitive. We vacuumed up all the glass and I drove back to his house. We spend a lot of time together. I could literally just lay with him for hours and sometimes that is what we do. Kiss and thumbwars and he sings me silly songs and I never even had to ask.
This weekend we did birthday stuff. I gave him all his stuff before his birthday. A new kettle, books, art. Saturday we went to this arcade/bar and I left my wallet and I wasn’t even drunk. Someone stole 100$ and turned everything else in, so I guess it was a blessing. Sunday we went to the aquarium because he had never been. He wants to go on a vacation together. He wants to take me to Canada to see where he is from. He asked me if when my lease is up, if I would want to live in the city with him. It scares the shit out of me feel this vulnerable. He always asks if I’m getting tired of him. I think he’ll get tired of me first but I hope it’s a while away.
I’m really happy with my life right now. I’m really happy to be in a really stable relationship with someone who adores me just as much as I adore him. He accepts all my flaws and he’s a weirdo too. We’re two happy weirdos. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Work is good too. I am finally, really happy. It’s so weird and refreshing to feel like this.