(Untitled)

[deadfreesia]

Who: deadfreesia and secret_sword
Where: Goldenrod City
When: November 8th
Summary: Aya sees the warning signs and wants to help Mamoru before it's too late.
Rating: PG most likely
Log:

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[deadfreesia]

Mamoru heard and listened; he understood the parallels. He caught the message that there were people here who wanted him to be happy. He remembered Aya telling him as much in Violet, too. He thought of the talk he'd had with him at the harbor in Japan: his wishing for the man's happiness, and the wishes of others being the reason Omi was able to be happy. Still he did not know how to answer Aya's question.

Because how did one explain the overwhelming compulsion to distance himself from everything that made him happy? Why did the feeling even exist? It wasn't rational, but it was undeniably there. Mamoru could feel the warmth of Aya's hand on his shoulder and stood in wonder of the paradox that its presence inspired both comfort and the desire to remove himself into solitude.

Several excuses came to mind. I don't belong here. I think it would be better for everyone that way. You and I are different. I don't think I'm someone who can be helped. None of them were voiced. Neither was the truth: that it was simply the path of least resistance at that point. It was easier-- more comfortable-- to shut down and shut out than to deal with any of it. Especially when, as far as Mamoru could see, it really did not matter so much as long as he fulfilled all of his responsibilities.

"Aya-kun..."

He felt a rise of guilt over his lack of receptiveness to Aya's efforts to help mixed with the gratitude that Aya cared enough to even try. He did not like disappointing his old friend, and failing to find the motivation to fight for happiness felt like it must be. He kept his eyes lowered in shame.

"I don't know. It's calling to me."

[secret_sword]

"I know."

He squeezed Mamoru's shoulder then went over to his Pokemon. Right away the Umbreon and Espeon came up to him, licking his face. Aya smiled at them, petting them gently for a moment or so.

"You know, I often have times here where I wonder if it would be better if I left the group to be on my own. The feeling pulls at me the way a siren's song would."

[deadfreesia]

Mamoru always appreciated a smart metaphor. The irresistible pull towards something ultimately dangerous and unhealthy. Although he was surprised that Aya would even consider such a thing. He was happy here, wasn't he? He'd found his light.

"You've tied yourself to the mast well, haven't you?"

[secret_sword]

"One of my sailors would follow me into Hell and I'd rather lead him to Heaven."

That was what Ken deserved. Somewhere good. If he was really going to follow him anywhere then he had decided that the least he could do was pick a path that would lead him towards the light. To keep him safe. Or rather, try to keep him safe.

[deadfreesia]

A soft, sad smile came to Mamoru's face. Ken. Aya was right, of course; Mamoru had heard for himself how Ken followed after Aya, and thought they were good for one another both in Johto and at home.

"He would. I'm glad that you have each other."

[secret_sword]

"You're on our ship now, Mamoru."

Aya looked over at him, a breeze brushing through his hair gently. There was a smile on his face still. He seemed at peace with what he had to say here.

"We're willing to tie you to the mast with us to keep you safe from the song."

[deadfreesia]

Mamoru remained quiet for some time while that statement processed. It inspired a combination of gratitude, awe, dread and anxiety. But ultimately, it was also the end of a question. Aya must have understood the course of action he was considering, and had just made it clear it wasn't the option Mamoru thought it was. There would be no leaving the group now.

But with it came a bizarre sense of relief. The confirmation that he belonged amongst them even in spite of the way things were at home... And there might be times that it hurt but that didn't justify closing off. He couldn't expect to simply slip away and disappear from their lives. The concept might be frightening in its own way, but it was reassuring in another. Maybe that kind of an anchor was what he really needed.

"Aya-kun..."

He looked down and nodded his head. "Right."

And he meant it. Thank you, Aya.

[secret_sword]

Aya rose up and went over to Mamoru holding his hand out to him. He understood what he meant well. And he was going to extend the hand of friendship to him yet again. This was another person he wanted to protect, to keep safe. He would do all he could to manage it.

"Welcome back, Mamoru. We've missed you."

[deadfreesia]

Mamoru's gaze shifted to the outstretched hand. That Aya continued to be such a friend, even after their paths had so clearly and irrevocably parted back home, meant more to him than he could ever express in words. He smiled a little more and took the hand for shaking.

"Thank you. It's good to see everyone again."

Mamoru hesitated for a moment before he continued.

"Although, there is one other thing, Aya-kun. I've been thinking..."

[secret_sword]

Aya could tell something was on Mamoru's mind. He tilted his head slightly as he waited a second before actually speaking.

"What is it?"

[deadfreesia]

Mamoru walked to a sunny spot of grass and eased himself to the ground. He pulled a Pokéball from his arsenal and turned it over in his hands.

"I spoke with Tot over the Gear in Azalea. She called to warn me about Youji-kun. It seems she knows Youji-kun is Weiss but not that any of the rest of us were. And we're all traveling together. We're sitting on a time bomb."

[secret_sword]

Aya frowned a little. However, it wasn't in disagreement for the situation. No, it was out of seriousness for this. He understood that this could shift the balance of everything.

However, running from it was foolish. "You want to tell her about the rest of us."

[deadfreesia]

"Myself, at least. As things stand, she trusts me and considers me someone important because of my relation to Masafumi." And, though Mamoru hadn't said it, he had likewise come to consider her important to him. "If she learns that I was Omi, and that I kept this from her knowingly, the damage will be significant. And with the ever-present possibility Schuldig may come here a third time, it isn't a secret that can be easily trusted to remain so on its own.

"However, it increases the likelihood she will discover the tie you and Ken-kun had to Weiss. It's confirmation that one more of us belonged to it. I think it unwise to proceed because of that-- unless you and Ken-kun agree it's the right decision."

[secret_sword]

Aya nodded at that. He knew that Mamoru was right about this. All of that was very true. Yet, he was also aware that the danger about being discovered here wasn't as high. It was strange to think about but true all the same.

"I will leave it to your discretion, Mamoru. But I will trust your instincts on the situation." Which really said more than anything else coming from him.

[deadfreesia]

Indeed it did say quite a lot. Aya's instincts were usually the ones that were right. Mamoru had to wonder if that was a signal that they were in tune with his reasoning.

He cast smile at the ground. "My instinct would be to avoid the problem, and hope it doesn't become an issue later. I think that I don't have good ones like you do, Aya-kun.

"But my belief is that it's better to endure a small storm now and eliminate the risk of a worse one later. I'm not the gambling type.

"That goes for you too, right?"

[secret_sword]

"Gambling is not something I prefer. Especially not with a risk as great as this one. Our main advantage is that it would seem that the information shouldn't impact us too negatively. We've shown no signs of being that way."

Aya shook his head and finally lowered himself to the ground to sit next to Mamoru. This place was so comfortable that it was easy to want to give in to the instinct to relax in the environment. Until moments like this came up.

"You are right though. It is better that this is dealt with now."