✖ he never had a chance ✖
Who: Santa and June
Where: Goldenrod. Some... where.
When: Now!
Summary: Two *spoilers* are tried of running away from everything :c
Rating: PG-13 for dark themes and possible bad language.
Warning: MAJOR 999 SPOILERS
Log:
( it was really only you, it was really only you )
Where: Goldenrod. Some... where.
When: Now!
Summary: Two *spoilers* are tried of running away from everything :c
Rating: PG-13 for dark themes and possible bad language.
Warning: MAJOR 999 SPOILERS
Log:
( it was really only you, it was really only you )
Seeing Santa look so... depressed was extremely rare, which meant this was a big deal to him. And it hurt her because -- well, his pain was her pain, right? If Snake's arrival hadn't already made her upset her for obvious reasons, seeing her brother's darkened expression would have done the job. They're intertwined enough that June can't help but feel whatever he's feeling.
He looks up, and she smiles.
Because if he wants to be the sad one, she'll just have to be the strong one. A sort of even balance -- and a fair role she's more than happy to accept. He's been her rock -- her backbone -- since before she can properly remember, so aiding him this one time is one feat she's more than happy to accomplish.
With a slight head tilt, June extends her hand to him, as if offering to bear the burden he felt. She wanted to hold his hand, and share their issues like they had done when they were younger. When they were Akane and Aoi -- siblings. Nothing more. She wants to hold his hand, more than anything else, she wants to hold his hand. ]
Let's go.
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If it were anyone else, he'd have told them to shove off and ignore the gesture. But... this is Akane. This is his sister, and the exception to everything. And so, he takes her hand, if only for her sake.
... The innocence of the act is discomforting, in all honesty. They're not innocent. They're screwed up in the head. They're murderers, even if indirectly. Criminals on the run.]
Lead the way.
[It never should've been her-for everything.]
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... And she continues holding his hand, because she's not ready to let go, not now. They walk in silence to the door, and the silence continues even as they start to walk. She's not too sure how to start this off... but she knows they'll have to talk about it.
And this is Aoi we're talking about. She can talk to him about anything.
She squeezes his hand again to get his attention, turning a bit to glance at him. ]
What's on your mind? [ A pause, and then the faintest hint of a laugh. ] Aside from the obvious, I mean.
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A lot of things, really. He should've looked after her better. He should've noticed earlier when she went missing. He should've tried to get her away from Hongou-done something besides shout useless, pointless words. And though he knows it's a stupid-impossible, even-thought, he should've found some way to get that door open without having to resort to what they did.
He should've granted her wish.
Looking up, with the inexplicable urge to just kick something, he answers.]
That this is really fucking weird.
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[ She knows that look very well, a figures it's best to find some place to sit before Santa does something silly. June tugs on his hand, and pulls him over toward a nearby bench, where they can sit and talk. ]
'Fucking weird'? [ A laugh. ] You've got no idea.
[ She pulls him down to the bench and sits beside him, fingers lightly brushing over the backside of his hand. She needs a little confidence, a little push, to talk about this. Santa.. he'd understand. She was positive he would-he always did. It's just... bringing it up was difficult. ]
Can I talk at you for a minute? I need to sort out my thoughts.
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[He has a feeling he knows what this is going to be about, and in all honesty, he doubts he's gathered his thoughts any better than she has.
But she's his baby sister and always will be, so he'll always listen. He'll do whatever he can.]
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[ She frowns, bringing her other hand to their conjoined ones, so she can pick helplessly pick at her nails. She can't really explain why she apologized exactly-maybe it's because Snake knew so much. Maybe because she felt particularly bad about dragging him and Clover into the Nonary game again-not that she had a choice- ]
He didn't forgive me.
I'm not saying what I did was forgivable by any stretch of the imagination, but...
It hurt. It hurt a lot. I've never... [ Sigh. ] I'm tired of running away from what we did, you know? I don't want to pretend it never happened-it's not fair to the people was dragged into this mess.
So it's my new goal to give them-all of them-a reason to forgive me. [ An empty laugh, as she slumps her head on his shoulder, fighting off tears. Fucking weird. ]
Everything is changing.
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And perhaps, he thinks, that's what makes her better than him. She wants to be forgiven. He doesn't care anymore.]
Well, that's life. You hit the ground running, and...
[A pause, before he slings his arm around her neck and pulls her closer.]
That's a start, at least.
[And on the off chance that either of them is forgiven, he knows that she'll be first.]
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I want you to try too. [ Her grip on his hand tightens. She doesn't want to force him, but... ]
Because I'm still really selfish, you know? Because I know that none of them will forgive me and it's going to hurt so bad and the only way I'll know it's okay is if you're there because...
[ Now she's crying openly, albeit quietly. She removes one hand to go up and wipe her eyes, feeling foolish and stupid and weak-like she never has before. ]
Jeeze, when'd I become so sappy..? Haha.
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Hey, you were always a sappy kid, I think.
[In all honesty, he thinks this might be better. Not better than the past-which he'd do anything to get back-but better than the June who hid everything behind a smile and an act. He's not much better, but... she shouldn't have to be that kind of person.]
... So what are you going to do now?
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First, I'm going to apologize to Jumpy. [ There's a wave of the had as she pulls herself off his shoulder, sending a smile over towards Santa. Of course she's apologizing-just seeking Snake's forgiveness wasn't nearly enough. ]
Then I'm... I'm going to be your sister. [ Firm nod! ] A good one, this time!
Third time's the charm, right?
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In all honesty, he doesn't think he has the heart to cry either. Not because he's convinced that he's a monster, like she is, but simply because he can't bring himself to cry anymore. He's run out of tears since the First Nonary Game. It's easier to just be angry instead. To be bitter at the world, and curse everyone who pushed them to be so fucked up.
But she's right: things are changing. But... things have always been changing, ever since he decided that he'd rather have his sister alive than live any semblance of a normal life.
At her last comment, though, he smirks slightly, poking her in the forehead.]
Idiot. You've always been my sister.
[He's the one who hasn't been a good brother. He failed her.]
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Oh, so in that case I should stop trying? [ She laughs, because she just explained how she's going to keep on trying, and how nothing could stop this inner growth she's experiencing.
Not even Santa.
She takes a moment to jump off the bench, throwing her hands behind her head. There was one more little, itty bitty thing she needed to tell him... ]
Also! When I talk to Jumpy? I'm going to tell him I love him. [ She turns back to Santa, wearing a crooked sort of grin. ] I owe him that much, right?
But don't worry, Aoi. You're still my forever guy ~
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... He wonders if this is how older brothers-turned-guardians generally feel when their little sister gets a boyfriend, except years late. Still, as crazy as this all is, he's happy for her. He really is.
That doesn't stop him from crossing his arms, though, and saying-]
Tell him that I'll fucking kill him if he tries anything funny.
[Even so, despite his less than stellar impression of Junpei, he knows he'd rather it be him than any other guy.]
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I'll be sure to pass on the message!
[ She's pretty sure she knows what he's thinking-about leaving him for Junpei-but the little quirk in her smile is more reassurance than any words she could pick out. She loves Aoi more than she'd care to express, so how could she, in her right mind, leave him for anyone? Aoi is everything that ever mattered to her-leaving him, or being "taken away" is not an option here. ]
Let's get lunch, or something. I'm starving!
[ ... But if he's not going to bring it up, she won't either. Besides, she trusts he knows that already-she shouldn't need to tell him how important he is. ]
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Akane doesn't need him anymore. Not in the way she used to.
By no means is he bitter about her getting her closest shot to happiness, but it only strengthens his own feeling that he usually keeps buried-the feeling that this is the best he can hope for himself. Even if Akane is Zero, even though he knows exactly what she's capable of and how messed up she is... she still has that sense of innocence he lost a long time ago.
He's just angry and bitter-and he knows it.
... Not that he really deserves better, does he?
Still, he smiles, patting his hair back into place.]
Sure. Mind if we stop by my room for a sec, though?
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