Day 2....surviving....
Hey friend....
Today was an interesting day. I ignored cutie most of the day because of our fight last night. I never thought we would get this far, and get in such deep and depressing fights. Most of the stuff we fight about it boyfriend girlfriend issues anyways....most people along with myself think that we should just go out. That would solve most of our problems with fighting....but even then, cutie wouldn't be happy with just me. I can understand, i mean im not hot or anything, but i am decent looking, and the only reason i say that is cause thats what most people tell me. Honestly, i dont really like the way i look, but i wouldn't change anything. Another thing that gets to me is how "friends" wont just say something to your face. A real friend should be the one to tell you something, even if it hurts, they should always be honest and trustworthy....and i feel like cutie and i are starting to lose that cause shes somewhat leaving me....we aren't going out, but its still the same concept and everything. The summer bio team had nothing really exciting today either. Today was just a bad day, all around....nothing really good happened, but it was just not my day, i was off a little....yesterday was a lot better, i even hit on the good side, i was like really hyper though, but ended bad with a fight before we both went to go sleep!! I seriously dont know how much longer i can take this, if she keeps this thing up with seeing other guys, i wont be able to go on....im really worried about her leaving me in the dust, we have had this thing for a while, and its really starting to get a lot better, but harder at the same time. I just dont know what to do anymore, i dont have time to do anything, and swimming is over. I was hoping to raise my grades in like english, cause i hate that class, and in math. Ive been falling behind on math homework but i mean, i still do really good on the test, and so its like if i turned in all this homework that i missed, i would have a solid A again....i dont know, im stressed all the time lately, and if cutie leaves me, ill have nothing to live for....Drumline is over too, so now i can go to my youth group again, but guess what, dont have time to do that either....I cant wait until summer, then i can hopefully advance in our relationship, and sort all of my problems and stress.....Grades are part of the stress, so that will be gone, and i can concentrate more on her, if i can last until summer....i have until saturday before we make a decision on our next move, so yeah, not great....I cant go golfing this weekend cause its my dads weekend and im going to be going crazy on saturday.....so if anyone wants to hang out or do anything, call the celly.......
Goodnight Friend,
Chad
Today was an interesting day. I ignored cutie most of the day because of our fight last night. I never thought we would get this far, and get in such deep and depressing fights. Most of the stuff we fight about it boyfriend girlfriend issues anyways....most people along with myself think that we should just go out. That would solve most of our problems with fighting....but even then, cutie wouldn't be happy with just me. I can understand, i mean im not hot or anything, but i am decent looking, and the only reason i say that is cause thats what most people tell me. Honestly, i dont really like the way i look, but i wouldn't change anything. Another thing that gets to me is how "friends" wont just say something to your face. A real friend should be the one to tell you something, even if it hurts, they should always be honest and trustworthy....and i feel like cutie and i are starting to lose that cause shes somewhat leaving me....we aren't going out, but its still the same concept and everything. The summer bio team had nothing really exciting today either. Today was just a bad day, all around....nothing really good happened, but it was just not my day, i was off a little....yesterday was a lot better, i even hit on the good side, i was like really hyper though, but ended bad with a fight before we both went to go sleep!! I seriously dont know how much longer i can take this, if she keeps this thing up with seeing other guys, i wont be able to go on....im really worried about her leaving me in the dust, we have had this thing for a while, and its really starting to get a lot better, but harder at the same time. I just dont know what to do anymore, i dont have time to do anything, and swimming is over. I was hoping to raise my grades in like english, cause i hate that class, and in math. Ive been falling behind on math homework but i mean, i still do really good on the test, and so its like if i turned in all this homework that i missed, i would have a solid A again....i dont know, im stressed all the time lately, and if cutie leaves me, ill have nothing to live for....Drumline is over too, so now i can go to my youth group again, but guess what, dont have time to do that either....I cant wait until summer, then i can hopefully advance in our relationship, and sort all of my problems and stress.....Grades are part of the stress, so that will be gone, and i can concentrate more on her, if i can last until summer....i have until saturday before we make a decision on our next move, so yeah, not great....I cant go golfing this weekend cause its my dads weekend and im going to be going crazy on saturday.....so if anyone wants to hang out or do anything, call the celly.......
Goodnight Friend,
Chad