(no subject)
i started posting on livejournal about 10 years ago. teenagers often keep journals to help them figure things out and put things in perspective. i kept up with it for years, to varying levels of regularity, until i finally abandoned it for over two years.
in those two years, i grew as a person. in order to do that, i had to cut out a lot of destructive people and habits from my life. i stopped traveling and moving around so much, giving in to an attempt at stability. and it worked. i went back to school full-time, working towards a potential-career offer i was given. i got a real job, moved to a safe neighborhood in a nice house, became closer than ever to every single member of my family. my brother and mother became my top priorities as they were in and out of mental and medical hospitals, respectively, and i became directly involved in the care of both of them. 2007 was a draining year, full of many deaths, moves, and hardships.. but it was one of the most productive and important years in my life.
i don't regret anything in my past, as it has all made me into who i am today. i gained a lot of life experience about the way the world really is, the way people really are to each other, and who i really am. i can admit that i spent a lot of time running away from some of my problems and wasting time doing unproductive or destructive things. but i also maintain that i don't regret any choice i've made in my life, regardless of consequence and stigma.
i've never been an untruthful person. i'm not, nor have i ever misrepresented myself to anyone about the life i've led or the morals i have. i've never entered a relationship or friendship with anyone with ulterior motives or superficial motivations. i i find it hard to believe, especially in these last few years of personal re-discovery, that i've given anyone the reason to strongly feel otherwise about any of these statements.
this journal was always public because i had nothing to hide, nothing i felt ashamed about, and never felt anything i wrote about made me less of a person. none of these things have changed, but i never intended or expected that my own words would be used against me. this journal, along with any other internet sites, journals, profiles i associated with in the past, are now restricted and intended only for less judgmental and hateful eyes. the only public entries are this and one i posted earlier this year, which i feel states all that should have needed to be.
in those two years, i grew as a person. in order to do that, i had to cut out a lot of destructive people and habits from my life. i stopped traveling and moving around so much, giving in to an attempt at stability. and it worked. i went back to school full-time, working towards a potential-career offer i was given. i got a real job, moved to a safe neighborhood in a nice house, became closer than ever to every single member of my family. my brother and mother became my top priorities as they were in and out of mental and medical hospitals, respectively, and i became directly involved in the care of both of them. 2007 was a draining year, full of many deaths, moves, and hardships.. but it was one of the most productive and important years in my life.
i don't regret anything in my past, as it has all made me into who i am today. i gained a lot of life experience about the way the world really is, the way people really are to each other, and who i really am. i can admit that i spent a lot of time running away from some of my problems and wasting time doing unproductive or destructive things. but i also maintain that i don't regret any choice i've made in my life, regardless of consequence and stigma.
i've never been an untruthful person. i'm not, nor have i ever misrepresented myself to anyone about the life i've led or the morals i have. i've never entered a relationship or friendship with anyone with ulterior motives or superficial motivations. i i find it hard to believe, especially in these last few years of personal re-discovery, that i've given anyone the reason to strongly feel otherwise about any of these statements.
this journal was always public because i had nothing to hide, nothing i felt ashamed about, and never felt anything i wrote about made me less of a person. none of these things have changed, but i never intended or expected that my own words would be used against me. this journal, along with any other internet sites, journals, profiles i associated with in the past, are now restricted and intended only for less judgmental and hateful eyes. the only public entries are this and one i posted earlier this year, which i feel states all that should have needed to be.