being honest.
yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. every emotion possible, i felt it. all at once everything just hit me and i just broke down. i did stupid things. of course i did stupid things, thats what im alive for. honestly i hate these stupid phases i go through. i wish that i wasn't so bi polar and had mood swings every two minutes. i hate bringing people into my problems because then they think less of me. the worst feeling ever is looking back at all your old entries and just being like. wtf is wrong with me, why am i like this. i dont understand why my mind just doesnt cooperate with what i want it to do. i tell myself not to act the way i act but i just dont listen to myself. i feel like i just fucked up so bad. iwant to change myself but i feel like even if i do everyone is just going to disregard it because i already have made my impression. i feel like i do this too much. i think im going to go friends only. seriously there is not much that i could complain about, but of course i find some way to make things bad. i just want either to erase the past year or so of my life and re-live it or just erase everyone i knows memory so they dont remmeber everytime i fucked up. i hate saying this but i really miss how things used to be before the summer. best days of my life and i would give anything to have them back. anyway just so i dont feel terrible, im going to put up pictures from sunday.
happy? now leave me alone.
happy? now leave me alone.