(no subject)
"The ultimate aim of all love affairs... is more important than all other aims in man's life; and therefore it is quite worthy of the profound seriousness with which everyone pursues it... What is decided by it is nothing less than the composition of the next generation..." - Arthur Schopenhauer
These ideas foreshadowed and laid the groundwork for Darwin's theory of evolution and Freud's concepts of the libido and the unconscious mind.
The Phone Is Bugged.
___________________________
i think i might be getting a new puppy. i do not know right now. i'm excited. i want a new puppy so much. but then there is that whole messy thing. and food thing. and vet bill thing. we'll see how it all goes. i feel so gross today. the weather here is just hot hot and more hot. my energy is zapped from morning until midnight. people move and talk very slow. i want pumpkin weather and leaves cascading. and clear, crisp thoughts again. and a puppy to walk in the park when the mums and pansies color the sidewalks.
everything i've ever loved is a memory, or becomes one.
Wesley fisted me the other night. there is something so non-sexual yet intense about fisting.
it's like medical wrestling. with orgasms as the prize.
anyway, i am multi-orgasmic and i've never been this before. i've never gushed all over a guy's dick when i came. i am a full-blown squirter now. i get feet in distance. hitting his shoulder. the face. the bed is always wet and we need towels. i have a nice thickish patch of pubic hair. it's soft and silky and really erotic. we sometimes stroke it together. we do the same with his penis. hands-on sharing of genitals is probably the one thing this human race has going for it.
everything else feels like being on the cliff and dangling a whole life over it and balancing that, keeping the body from falling. my guts, my heart, my future- even my past are all preceding me... saying:
"come on, girl. just let go."
and me, i stand here rigid as a steel beam even though i want to let go.
there is no explaining that kind of hardheadedness and fear. it is what it is. is evolutionary caution logical or just vestigial caveman brain stuff?
i'm beginning to think it's all the same. animal. educated man.
hieroglyphics on fingertips and whispers in kisses... primordial sex-slime and Schopenhauer aesthetic enlightenment.
philosophy, at one time, was my life's blood.
enigmatic and insane but heavy like a monsoon against all it touched.
not strictly limited to a life investigated, but rushing waves against love, reality and simplicity.
i think it takes a brain already set in its ways to love philosophy.
otherwise it consumes and frustrates and gives enormous head-aching thought-tumors.
the only philosophers i ever trusted were art lovers.
so i cut out the middle man early and went straight to making art my God.
i like animals, especially pups.
i hope i get that dog.
These ideas foreshadowed and laid the groundwork for Darwin's theory of evolution and Freud's concepts of the libido and the unconscious mind.
The Phone Is Bugged.
___________________________
i think i might be getting a new puppy. i do not know right now. i'm excited. i want a new puppy so much. but then there is that whole messy thing. and food thing. and vet bill thing. we'll see how it all goes. i feel so gross today. the weather here is just hot hot and more hot. my energy is zapped from morning until midnight. people move and talk very slow. i want pumpkin weather and leaves cascading. and clear, crisp thoughts again. and a puppy to walk in the park when the mums and pansies color the sidewalks.
everything i've ever loved is a memory, or becomes one.
Wesley fisted me the other night. there is something so non-sexual yet intense about fisting.
it's like medical wrestling. with orgasms as the prize.
anyway, i am multi-orgasmic and i've never been this before. i've never gushed all over a guy's dick when i came. i am a full-blown squirter now. i get feet in distance. hitting his shoulder. the face. the bed is always wet and we need towels. i have a nice thickish patch of pubic hair. it's soft and silky and really erotic. we sometimes stroke it together. we do the same with his penis. hands-on sharing of genitals is probably the one thing this human race has going for it.
everything else feels like being on the cliff and dangling a whole life over it and balancing that, keeping the body from falling. my guts, my heart, my future- even my past are all preceding me... saying:
"come on, girl. just let go."
and me, i stand here rigid as a steel beam even though i want to let go.
there is no explaining that kind of hardheadedness and fear. it is what it is. is evolutionary caution logical or just vestigial caveman brain stuff?
i'm beginning to think it's all the same. animal. educated man.
hieroglyphics on fingertips and whispers in kisses... primordial sex-slime and Schopenhauer aesthetic enlightenment.
philosophy, at one time, was my life's blood.
enigmatic and insane but heavy like a monsoon against all it touched.
not strictly limited to a life investigated, but rushing waves against love, reality and simplicity.
i think it takes a brain already set in its ways to love philosophy.
otherwise it consumes and frustrates and gives enormous head-aching thought-tumors.
the only philosophers i ever trusted were art lovers.
so i cut out the middle man early and went straight to making art my God.
i like animals, especially pups.
i hope i get that dog.