Idiot Boyfriend

[roughdraft___]

So things are going a lot better, now. Almost ended my relationship because even though he swore to me that he never would again and that he loves me more than drugs, he did cocaine again. I think it's so unattractive, its a bitch drug, you look disgusting doing it, your sex appeal to me has gone down, you lost weight, and now you're in debt. WOW it just clicked to me. The reason he's in so much debt is because he was doing so much cocaine. It's so sad to me that i'm dating a huge drug dealer. I deserve better than this. But I love him too much to leave him, unless he does coke again. He wrote me a six page letter saying that he will never do it again, but I feel like he could easily be doing it behind my back. I'm gone at school all day and all he's doing is hanging out with the biggest coke phenes he calls friends. It's so sad that he has nothing going on for him now, except drugs and I find that pathetic. I don't believe that he's not doing it cause he hangs out with these boys that are obviously addicted to it, but I haven't seen him do it so I can't say anything until I have proof. I just feel that one day its gonna slip again and I'm gonna feel like its been so long since he's done it, so I can't break up with him. But that would be false, if he does it later on, that means he's been doing it. DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, DON'T BE STUPID. GET OUT. I hate hate hate drugs. I just wish that he could open his eyes and realize how stupid they are and that his life is going nowhere.

I just have to focus on myself and make sure that my life is still on track even though his is going off the rails. It's almost as if I'm waiting for him to do something wrong so I can break up with him and get out of it. I just wish things were like how they used to be, perfect.