(no subject)
I'm frustrated. The last few years I've just gone through these cycles of questioning about what direction to take in my life and they just keep coming back to the fact that I don't know. I just don't know. I told my boss yesterday that I'm not happy here and I'm looking for a way to leave office work. She was very sweet about it and said all the best things you'd want a boss to say. She gave me the rest of the day off with pay. I'm crying a lot and I'm right back into the same depression. Maybe I should apply for grad school and get an MA in creative writing. I feel like I just don't have many options. Maybe what I need to do is just quit and start temping and hope that the horrors of temping will force me to find another way. Or they could force me to just find yet another stupid office job. I just can't find a way out. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of making plans and never following through on them. I don't want to leave Portland right now, we're liking it here and our house is really looking better. I don't want to work in an office. What do I want to do. What can I do. I need help. I don't know who can help me.