(no subject)

[rottingfetus88]

streetwise boy, i never knew
adding up all the reasons to justify the moves
inside that head, i always begged to know
more complex than he could explain

i wish i knew all i did now
but i dont know if i should change it
meant to be was what he concluded we werent
i agreed but that doesnt mean it dont hurt

i decided not to write him long long letters
or leave those crazy voicemails on his phone at night
he told me i had to leave it, next to my car that night
that night that night
the one you wish you saw
but i ask myself should i have done better
is he going to think i was worth it

he had to go in his own direction
somewhere i couldnt follow
i knew my path was different
so i dont know why i expected him to take it with me
his things were not meant to be done for me
theyre for someone else
and they wouldnt appreciate me here

they wouldnt care for this pain
they are the one he is looking for
they are over there while i am over here

i dont care what anyone says
because i already know
that doesnt mean this girl cant hurt
i said goodbye the best i could
as unselfishly as cold as i could
as best as i could as i could
somehow it was still very wet
and i am still cold

i hope youre okay now
and you can make those bigger strides
dont notice im watching you as you go
it would only make it harder
so you say, so you say
i and force me on my way

i hope im more
and not stashed with memories
next to your first kiss
and your last year in school
i hope im at the top
with the discoveries of things new
and epiphanies
i hope im close to your heart
maybe not completing it
but holding it together
if it ever may break

maybe tonight, ill sleep in my bed again
and not feel sad that youre in yours
i hope youre okay on one side of the bed
all i hope is this makes you okay

wherever youre sleeping right now i hope youre okay