(no subject)
Chapter nine
The photo album lied open in Nate’s lap. The photos were in no particular order. Some of them were smaller prints from the 60’s and 70’s and out-of-focus with a grainy tone and muted greens and browns. The subject matter of the older ones was generally of babies in diapers and black dogs. As they got newer, the photos became glossier and shifted towards trips to visit relatives and parties. The last set of photos in the book was taken four years ago during a family reunion. It was in a city park and they were using the provided grillers that were bolted to the ground and dark with charred soot.
The faces throughout the book generally stayed the same, just changed in age and amount of hair. Nate was never close to his family, but they were always around. He spent much of his time growing up at the homes of elderly relatives and being baby-sat by aunts and uncles. In spite of this, he never grew any emotional attachment to any of them. If he had a problem, he couldn't really go to them for help. People talked about everything in the family. Rumors spread and mutated quickly throughout the family and even the men gossiped.
There was a picture of Nate when he was three years old. He couldn’t even remember anything from it, but apparently it was from a vacation to South Dakota. It was of him being held in his father’s arms in front of Mount Rushmore. His parents told him growing up that he said he wanted to climb the mountain and wondered what it looked like on the other side.
The picture next to it was of Nate’s brother wearing sunglasses and swimming trunks at five years old playing with a water hose. He was in front of a house with light blue aluminum siding and a red lawnmower lurked to the left.
“I didn’t know you had a brother, Nate. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Tina asked.
“I dunno. Didn’t know I ever needed to.”
The room was silent except for the sound of Nate flipping to the next page.
“What was he like? How old is he now? Does he still live here?”
Nate ignored her questions and turned the page. There was a picture of Nate’s parents in their twenties on a beach. It was taken vertically and off-center. They looked happy. This was when Jerry Jr. was just born and the couple was still very happy. Nate’s mother would tell him later on that it was after he was born that their relationship started declining, but that made no difference to him. As far as he was concerned, they were always like that.
“Well, what about your parents? Where they live now, huh?”
Nate remained silent and shut the book. He opened the trunk at the foot of his bed and put the album back in it.
“Are you gonna talk to me?”
“Leave me alone, okay? I ain’t in the mood for talking now.”
“Why the hell are you so private about this stuff? I figured we were close enough to talk by now.”
“Look, you don’t know shit.”
“What?”
“You heard me, you’re just some little girl. You don’t know a goddamn thing about me.”
“Don’t get mad at me ‘cause you’re the one who doesn’t wanna talk about stuff. It’s not like I’m asking you secret questions, I just wanna know what your family is like.”
“Well, you don’t need to know, so stay out of my business.”
“Well, okay, but I don’t get what the hell’s up your butt.”
Nate turned away from Tina and walked out of the room. He went into the kitchen and pulled a half-empty bottle of Crown Royal from the freezer and chugged it. Nate could hear the slapping of bare feet against the hallway tile.
“Come over here and talk to me,” Tina pleaded. She seemed upset. Nate turned away from her and swigged again from the bottle. Tina sighed and sat down at the kitchen table and pulled a plastic bag from her pocket. She emptied a portion of the powder on the table and began to cut a line.
“I swear to god, Nate, I swear.”
Tina leaned forward and ingested the line quickly, then pulled her head back and squinted. “You’re just so goddamn stubborn, Nate. I swear to god, Nate, I swear to god! If you didn’t give me a bed to sleep in, I’d be gone by now. I don’t know how any woman could ever put up with you. How many women you ever been with, Nate? You gonna at least tell me that?”
“None of your business.”
“None? I ain’t your first, am I?”
“Hell no you ain’t, now just shut up.”
“I’m your first, eh? A little girl. I bet you’d go brag to your buddies about me, wouldn’t ya?”
“I told you, you ain’t my first.”
“Who the hell else could be your girlfriend?”
“I had one in high school, and another one after I dropped out. She was my girlfriend for a long time, so don’t even talk about it.”
“Why did she leave you, Nate, huh?” Tina looked up at Nate. Her nose was bleeding down her lips and she had white powder clumps on her face.
“Just leave me alone, okay?”
“Tell me, you son of a bitch! Tell me!”
“You better watch yourself, bitch.”
“Look, I been beat up for less, I’m not afraid of some pussy like you.”
“I’m giving you a place to stay, so don’t even back talk me.”
“Okay, ‘dad,’ whatever. Fuck you.”
Nate pounded the whiskey bottle against the kitchen counter, smashing the top half off and sending liquor crashing like a wave to the floor. He clutched the neck of the bottle and ran towards Tina, pointing the jagged edges in her direction.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Tina shrieked.
Nate cupped his hand around her mouth and pulled her hair back. Her eyes were wide open and her pupils rolled upwards, tangled amongst the red snakey veins. He held the bottle next to her throat and she fidgeted.
“MMMMPPPH! MPHMPH FFFMMMM MMM!”
“Just be quiet. You keep yelling, you’ll get this bottle in your throat.”
Tina quit mumbling, but remained squiriming.
“Now remember, when you’re in my house, it’s my rules. If I say ‘shut up,’ you shut up. Got it?”
Tina excitedly nodded her head rapidly, eyes still wild. Nate yanked her hair up and led her into the garage. The light on the garage door opener was dim and created dark corners at the edges of the room. The bare cement was spotted with old oil and cat litter. Various old junk littered the room such as a broken television set, a chainsaw, and a broken set of golf clubs.
Nate laid Tina down on the largest spot of oil and pulled her shirt off. She wasn’t wearing a bra and her still-forming breasts pointed at the ceiling. She gave up moving at this point and let Nate control the situation.
He unbuttoned her jeans and slid his hand into her panties. She was unshaved and had a thick, curly bush of pubic hair.
“Now, don’t be afraid. It’s not like we ain’t done this before. Just be still.”
Tina gritted her teeth and grinded them together violently. Nate drew the edges of the broken bottle against her ribs lightly, not hard enough to break her skin. Tina flinched and the bottle barely sliced into her stomach. She sat still for a moment before the blood reached the skin and trickled gently down her pale abdomen.
“See, I told you to be still.”