Slipshots // I am not nice when I'm about to menstruate
Notes:
1.
Dear girl-who-stares-and-whispers-to-friend-at-restaurant,
I noticed you the minute I walked into the restaurant. There is no need for odd stares because you are right -- I am alone. Young girl, people do eat alone. It is not weird, it is not pathetic as some may think. This may come across as defensive but I'll tell you this because you look 17/18: You know what's really pathetic? People who won't eat by themselves because they think it is pathetic. Being pathetic is a state of mind, you are only pathetic if you think you are. You are not it if you don't agree with it. The minute you give in to that thought, you slip into a state of pathetic-ness, and then you deprive yourself of food that you want to eat just because you don't want to be seen as pathetic.
Be comfortable with yourself, young one. Be comfortable to do anything by yourself. Go shopping, do a sport, eat alone, have some tea, do the tango -- Love yourself enough to be comfortable being alone. It doesn't mean you don't have friends, it just means you have one more friend -- yourself.
When you grow older, you get tired of waiting of friends to (finally) agree on where to eat. Your friends will stick to their boyfriends and girlfriends. They will get married. They will go to army. They will die -- by accident, by illness, by fate -- no matter what, they will die and it will only be a matter of time. They will die, like you, like me, like your family. This is not cynicism, this is being realistic.
It is just a meal, a meal which you don't have to account for anybody, a meal which you don't have to depend on your family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife -- You are responsible for feeding yourself. Be a little more self-sufficient, a little more independent.
Sincerely,
Your senior.
2.
I don't like it when people suggest I date somebody 'rich', somebody who owns a car cus he can then drive me around. I am sure that there must be some miscommunication somewhere because that has never been a criteria for me.
I'm sure it's nice and everything, but honestly, if that's the only plus point that I could find in a guy, isn't that just sad?
Honestly, do I really need to depend on a guy who drives me around? Maybe. But I could also get taxi drivers anywhere too.
And also, rich? Really? Firstly, am I that materialistic to need such men? Secondly, do you think I can't afford it? Thirdly, if I wanted rich, why would I settle for a guy who owns a car? I mean, if you wanted rich, wouldn't you find a guy who owns a car AND a driver? Geez, wanna aim, aim higher lah! I am never an in-between person.
In case you think I would indeed aim higher, I am only interested in earning money myself. I have no words actually. You don't deserve me.
3.
I realized that I am forever alone by choice. I will be forever alone because the image I have in my head of whoever I like would always be better than the real person. There will always, always be lust. But there will be no love. I have not felt my heart beat in ages. There is nobody that can really sweep me off my feet. I am sure that I haven't forgotten that feeling and I am waiting to feel it again.
And honestly, having been there for my girlfriends too many times, I think that this relationship is sufficient. They are always there for me, and vice versa, and when they're back with their boyfriends, I have my own personal space. A nice, comfortable space for me to grow. They kind of made me realize that while it's nice to have somebody by your side, you lose a bit of yourself everyday. It is a beautiful surrender but it is not something I'd like to put myself through with the wrong guy.
I don't even think I am ever ready to be known as somebody's girlfriend unless he's damn awesome. I just want to be known as Amanda Tan. I want to be remembered as that, be known for that. And the very basic courtesy that my future boyfriend's friends should have for me is to call me by name, not "______'s girlfriend".
Because, really, I am nobody's baby.
4.
I thought of my bachelorette pad. It is fucking awesome. And my girlfriends can come over for some girly sexy time or just bunk in when their assholes of a boyfriend piss them off.
5.
This is the difference between you and I. Effortless.
1.
Dear girl-who-stares-and-whispers-to-friend-at-restaurant,
I noticed you the minute I walked into the restaurant. There is no need for odd stares because you are right -- I am alone. Young girl, people do eat alone. It is not weird, it is not pathetic as some may think. This may come across as defensive but I'll tell you this because you look 17/18: You know what's really pathetic? People who won't eat by themselves because they think it is pathetic. Being pathetic is a state of mind, you are only pathetic if you think you are. You are not it if you don't agree with it. The minute you give in to that thought, you slip into a state of pathetic-ness, and then you deprive yourself of food that you want to eat just because you don't want to be seen as pathetic.
Be comfortable with yourself, young one. Be comfortable to do anything by yourself. Go shopping, do a sport, eat alone, have some tea, do the tango -- Love yourself enough to be comfortable being alone. It doesn't mean you don't have friends, it just means you have one more friend -- yourself.
When you grow older, you get tired of waiting of friends to (finally) agree on where to eat. Your friends will stick to their boyfriends and girlfriends. They will get married. They will go to army. They will die -- by accident, by illness, by fate -- no matter what, they will die and it will only be a matter of time. They will die, like you, like me, like your family. This is not cynicism, this is being realistic.
It is just a meal, a meal which you don't have to account for anybody, a meal which you don't have to depend on your family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife -- You are responsible for feeding yourself. Be a little more self-sufficient, a little more independent.
Sincerely,
Your senior.
2.
I don't like it when people suggest I date somebody 'rich', somebody who owns a car cus he can then drive me around. I am sure that there must be some miscommunication somewhere because that has never been a criteria for me.
I'm sure it's nice and everything, but honestly, if that's the only plus point that I could find in a guy, isn't that just sad?
Honestly, do I really need to depend on a guy who drives me around? Maybe. But I could also get taxi drivers anywhere too.
And also, rich? Really? Firstly, am I that materialistic to need such men? Secondly, do you think I can't afford it? Thirdly, if I wanted rich, why would I settle for a guy who owns a car? I mean, if you wanted rich, wouldn't you find a guy who owns a car AND a driver? Geez, wanna aim, aim higher lah! I am never an in-between person.
In case you think I would indeed aim higher, I am only interested in earning money myself. I have no words actually. You don't deserve me.
3.
I realized that I am forever alone by choice. I will be forever alone because the image I have in my head of whoever I like would always be better than the real person. There will always, always be lust. But there will be no love. I have not felt my heart beat in ages. There is nobody that can really sweep me off my feet. I am sure that I haven't forgotten that feeling and I am waiting to feel it again.
And honestly, having been there for my girlfriends too many times, I think that this relationship is sufficient. They are always there for me, and vice versa, and when they're back with their boyfriends, I have my own personal space. A nice, comfortable space for me to grow. They kind of made me realize that while it's nice to have somebody by your side, you lose a bit of yourself everyday. It is a beautiful surrender but it is not something I'd like to put myself through with the wrong guy.
I don't even think I am ever ready to be known as somebody's girlfriend unless he's damn awesome. I just want to be known as Amanda Tan. I want to be remembered as that, be known for that. And the very basic courtesy that my future boyfriend's friends should have for me is to call me by name, not "______'s girlfriend".
Because, really, I am nobody's baby.
4.
I thought of my bachelorette pad. It is fucking awesome. And my girlfriends can come over for some girly sexy time or just bunk in when their assholes of a boyfriend piss them off.
5.
This is the difference between you and I. Effortless.