(no subject)
A 'perfect' man immediately becomes 'imperfect' the minute he makes a misjudgement, and the sheer fact that he can be blind to a girl that loves him so much makes him terribly flawed as compared to the other men out there.
A girl who can, and is willing to, put her heart on the line for a guy should only be worth more than just that.
I am finally free from everything. I am really finally free. Like, honestly.
For a brief 20 minutes, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I couldn't even speak of my emotions.
I may have even thought of death for that few minutes.
But, Amanda's a big girl now.
I smiled, closed my eyes, and felt at ease. I haven't felt like that for so fucking long.
Now, I no longer need to think, feel sad, feel guilty. I needn't pine for anybody anymore.
I know for a fact that it is truly over, so I won't revisit that anymore.
There I was, full of my dreams and goals, but I was ready to let go a part of those to be a part of your life.
I knew exactly what I was giving up, and what I was risking but I did it anyway.
I used to think that as a friend, you'd care enough, because you've always said things like "for your own good".
But when it's time to do something or say anything that's really for my own good, you are not there or here or anywhere.
I'd think that the amount of time that passed and being an officer would toughen you up, make you a real man
but I am upset/disappointed/pissed/somewhat happy that it did not.
What, then, is the whole point of being a leader when you don't even have the courage or the slightest initiation to tell me to move the fuck on?
I'd like to thank you for everything, because my heart feels every single little thing that you have done for me.
But I will not, because I have done enough.
I am a fool for you. I have no idea why I had to put myself down this way, and get hurt in the end without any direct confrontation.
The least that I should get is you talking to me.
I seriously think that it's your loss. I've always told people how perfect you really are to me, and you always will be.
But the very fact that you have missed what others see, you are very flawed.
I don't get how everybody can tell me so many things about myself, yet you are blind to them.
That's okay.
You remain as you are, possibly find a girl that you like and I hope she loves you as much, I hope she's willing to give up her career for 3 babies.
I hope she's willing to fight hard for both of your futures.
Because I am going to go after my dreams and hay
HAAAAAAAAAY GUESS WHAT
YOU ARE NOT IN THEM ANYMORE.
I shall go back to my awesome self.
I have been jaded for too long. My girlfriends and everybody else are worried for me for too fucking long you are just not worth the trouble. Goodbye.
A girl who can, and is willing to, put her heart on the line for a guy should only be worth more than just that.
I am finally free from everything. I am really finally free. Like, honestly.
For a brief 20 minutes, I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I couldn't even speak of my emotions.
I may have even thought of death for that few minutes.
But, Amanda's a big girl now.
I smiled, closed my eyes, and felt at ease. I haven't felt like that for so fucking long.
Now, I no longer need to think, feel sad, feel guilty. I needn't pine for anybody anymore.
I know for a fact that it is truly over, so I won't revisit that anymore.
There I was, full of my dreams and goals, but I was ready to let go a part of those to be a part of your life.
I knew exactly what I was giving up, and what I was risking but I did it anyway.
I used to think that as a friend, you'd care enough, because you've always said things like "for your own good".
But when it's time to do something or say anything that's really for my own good, you are not there or here or anywhere.
I'd think that the amount of time that passed and being an officer would toughen you up, make you a real man
but I am upset/disappointed/pissed/somewhat happy that it did not.
What, then, is the whole point of being a leader when you don't even have the courage or the slightest initiation to tell me to move the fuck on?
I'd like to thank you for everything, because my heart feels every single little thing that you have done for me.
But I will not, because I have done enough.
I am a fool for you. I have no idea why I had to put myself down this way, and get hurt in the end without any direct confrontation.
The least that I should get is you talking to me.
I seriously think that it's your loss. I've always told people how perfect you really are to me, and you always will be.
But the very fact that you have missed what others see, you are very flawed.
I don't get how everybody can tell me so many things about myself, yet you are blind to them.
That's okay.
You remain as you are, possibly find a girl that you like and I hope she loves you as much, I hope she's willing to give up her career for 3 babies.
I hope she's willing to fight hard for both of your futures.
Because I am going to go after my dreams and hay
HAAAAAAAAAY GUESS WHAT
YOU ARE NOT IN THEM ANYMORE.
I shall go back to my awesome self.
I have been jaded for too long. My girlfriends and everybody else are worried for me for too fucking long you are just not worth the trouble. Goodbye.